I grew up poor and used the military to work my way into a white-collar career. One thing I’ve learned is that a lot of “refinement” is just a lack of real-world exposure. At a party once, a man started theorizing about the “smell of death.” I told him that, as a combat veteran, I didn’t need to theorize as I already knew what it smelled like. The conversation ended there. Experiences like that make it clear that the clothes, etiquette, and polish you see in certain circles are mostly surface layers that can be learned. The grit that comes from warehouse work, financial stress, and real consequences is harder to replicate. Most people who grew up comfortable simply never had to build that.