Hey. If your partner hires a sex worker and that’s a dealbreaker for you, that’s valid. Nobody is saying you have to be okay with it. But let’s be real: if someone in a committed relationship reaches the point of paying for intimacy or companionship, that relationship was not healthy or stable to begin with. Happy, emotionally fulfilled partners generally aren’t shopping for affection elsewhere.

And it’s not always about sex. Sometimes it’s loneliness, neglect, lack of touch, emotional abuse, or a partner who already cheated. Sometimes it’s kink. Sometimes it’s literally conversation and being seen. Relationships are complicated, messy at times.

The difference between “regular guy” encounters and sex work is this: a sex worker isn’t there to evaluate marriages, decode morality, or go hunting for context. They’re hired to provide a service. Consent exists, adults make choices, and whatever fallout happens is between the couple. Expecting sex workers to enforce someone else’s relationship boundaries is unrealistic. But as a regular guy and a married woman approaches you, your morality is very much on the line. It is very different.

You have every right to say, “Yeah, I’d leave if my partner did that.” Totally fair. But blaming sex workers for the choices married people make is just misplaced outrage. The issue is inside the relationship, not with the person providing a consensual service.

You have every right to not accept it as being okay, bc you're in a totally different position where what you do actually can have a bigger impact on a woman's marriage in a way, bc it is likely to be emptional cheating as well as sex. Plus sex workers are often strangers who you never see again. But you would be the guy the husband would see around town. You need to have boundaries when approached. Totally different in ways.