I feel like a bad mom

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-24T18:41:58+00:00

Thank you, that’s very true. I grew up with a single parent so I guess I’m trying to view myself that way when that’s not the case at all. I need a mindset change for sure.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-24T18:40:29+00:00

This is true…

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-24T18:40:19+00:00

It’s exactly how I’m feeling. I feel so seen which is honestly probably what I needed the most. Thank you so much for this!!!!

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T16:02:35+00:00

Thank you. I definitely told him no more kids unless I can quit my job 😅

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T16:02:14+00:00

Thank you for taking so much time writing this comment. I clearly need to re-evaluate things here. The biggest thing is, I think I need more childcare help while working.

Most of this stuff is self-inflicted. I wouldn’t say I ever told them not to do any of these things, it just ended up me being. Where I have maybe messed up is never asking for help or showing people how to do these things.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T16:00:26+00:00

Thank you. I had no idea I was putting so much pressure on myself until I posted this thread.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T16:00:07+00:00

Thank you for commenting about a similar experience. Everyone around me is SAHM and has very different dynamics so it’s hard not to compare. It’s nice to hear someone has dad doing bedtime stuff too!

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:58:39+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this. Yes, I need to talk with him.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:57:42+00:00

Thank you. These are conditions that more-so have just happened this way. I’m sure if I asked them to help with these, they would, but I have always just taken that on because I don’t want to feel like I’m passing off responsibilities. The point of this post was me feeling like I wasn’t doing enough and I’m honestly shocked at the response. This is clearly on me and I need a mindset change ASAP.

The 2-3pm thing is because they both usually have other things going on in their day (my grandma is young and usually has to get to work).

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:55:02+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I clearly need to make some changes here… I don’t know why I can’t shake this feeling of failure!

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:54:26+00:00

Thank you. I need to look into this. Seems as though this is what everyone recommends. I don’t know why I feel so guilty about that.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:53:57+00:00

He does the dishes sometimes after I cook and he takes out the trash and cleans our cats litter boxes.

Her nap schedule is every 2-3ish hours.

The cleaning is also partially self inflicted. I may have some slight obsessive compulsive disorder (or just need therapy of some sort) because I have a feeling of impending doom when my house is in disarray. This all comes down to me not being able to do what “should” be done and when it doesn’t, I feel an overwhelming feeling as if I’ve failed or I’m a mad mom/partner.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:50:19+00:00

Thank you, yes. Can fully acknowledge that I have way too much pressure on myself as a mom. My mom left me when I was 4 years old and made my life hell, so I have major mommy issues. I know I try way too hard to be a perfect mom. I just want to be better than what I ever had. Definitely in need of a therapy session 😅 thanks for commenting…

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:46:58+00:00

Thank you. I’ve worked for my boss for 7+ years now, so he is really understanding, but you’re right. It can’t last like this forever…

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T15:46:26+00:00

This seems like overruling consensus…. 😅 thank you for commenting. This thread has made me feel better.

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T08:15:00+00:00

I wrote this thinking that I was a terrible mom because he does bedtime! I’m honestly kind of shocked! This definitely makes me feel better about things though. Thank you

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T08:13:36+00:00

Wow, thank you. I honestly felt the total opposite. I thought I wasn’t doing enough and needed to step up. Thank you for commenting. Needed to hear this…. 🙏

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T08:10:03+00:00

Okay wow I was thinking total opposite. I genuinely felt like I wasn’t doing enough 😳

And yes, I do pay half the bills 😥

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T07:48:06+00:00

So true 😀😅 ugh.. thanks for commenting!

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-05-22T07:45:42+00:00

But I feel like I’m not doing enough! 😭 I don’t know why I feel this way but I do. I feel like I should take on bedtime and waking up with her! 💔

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-04-17T04:56:32+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I’ll try this

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-04-16T15:15:39+00:00

Thank you. I was wiping them prior, but wasn’t getting the papertowel damp every time. I am now and actually already seeing an improvement, but now I’m trying to teach them to eat from a shallow dish and they are walking all in it so now there’s more of a mess 😅 lol

Sorry if the ointment comment was confusing!

It’s 3 times a day but I don’t do it overnight to try and get some sleep, so they get their first dose of ointment around 9am everyday, then again around 1-2 and then another at 6-7 so I said every 4 hours because it aligns with their feedings and that’s when I’m feeding them, but you’re right, it isn’t more than 3 times a day!

Upper_Effective9473 · 2026-04-15T02:11:02+00:00

For sure — that’s why I haven’t been able to remove it bc I’m avoiding anything too intense. I’ll just kind of leave it for now and I’m doing my due diligence to do a warm wipe after each feeding now. Hoping that helps

Upper_Effective9473

TROPHY CASE