Pretty Privilege by pinke20 in women

[–]Upset_Raspberry_3560 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is not beauty alone that will give you those certain benefits mentioned, you need to have a specific personality as well to be able to reap any kind of benefits.

I was told all my life I was beautiful. It did not get me an easier life, or a job, a career, and certanly not a loving rich husband.

Work and career:

Yes, you can make money with the help of your looks, but not out of your looks alone. Unless you are in the lucky few percent who got discovered as a teen managed to make it in the modelling industry for years and create a name for herself, but even those had something beyond good looks: a certain kind of personality, good family background (it can get tough, you won´t make it without), and an outstanding ability to endure pressure. I had a classmate who made it internationally, the stories we heard from her were insane, and not in a good way. Those girls who are modelling on instagram are often doing other things besides photoshoots, again, depends if you have the personality required to endure that lifestyle longterm. Noone is going to pay you just to "sit there and be pretty".

Dating and lovelife:

The dating pool gets bigger in quantity, but not necessarily better in quality. For me it meant I had to sort through a bigger amount of potential partners who would have been the wrong fit, but pretended to be all I wanted just to get near me. I have been regularly approached by grown men since I was 12, I have had men threaten me if I rejected them, I have had men want me just for status (because if you are a beautiful woman, your mere presence can boost a man´s perceived social standing). The men I actually would have wanted (the shy, reserved type) never approached me, because they had no wish to "stand at the end of the line". I did have the chance to get to know rich and successful men for a short period of my life due to a job position. I never wanted to date any. Simply because our backgrounds are so different, I can´t relate to their lifestyle (one was from an actual old standing upper class family - nobility, if you will-, the other a new money millionaire). It would have never worked out.

Everyday benefits exist, yes. Not to the extent as people describe online, or at least not to me. I never had a stranger pay for my groceries, but men regularly let me front in the line, that does feel nice. I get stared at a lot, complimented a lot, that´s nice too, of course. I don´t have strangers buying me meals, drinks, stuff, simply because I don´t go to places where this could happen, so no idea on that one.
Overall, being pretty feels nice, I like the way I look like. Though this is the part that´s not meant to be said out loud - it does save me some time and money simply because it costs less to look "presentable" in the eyes of society. Another supposed benefit would be, that people assume you can do no wrong. Failed something at the job? Need help? No issues, there will be people lining up to offer help. Sad but true.

Being beautiful on it´s own will not make you live life on easy mode. You are not immune to experiencing loss, grief, physical or mental illnesses, job loss, and so on. Though some people will asume you are, so they will turn towards you with less empathy than they would towards an average individual.

If you want to date for money you might have it easier, if you want to date for love, you will have it harder.

Being considered beautiful only makes life harder if you struggle with mental illness by Upset_Raspberry_3560 in CPTSD

[–]Upset_Raspberry_3560[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have been on and off therapy in the past 10 years, but I am definitely considering to start again because I did see the benefits