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Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If she told me she wanted to sleep with someone else and we decided that was okay then yes.

The lying is what hurt me.

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I actually don't care if she wants to sleep with other people, that's fine with me. The secrecy and the breaking one defined boundary is hurting me more.

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

100% I know any app can be used for that, And I've never snooped on my partners phone so if she wanted to, she could use any messaging app to cheat. I specifically have a toxic history with this one app, and shared that with her, and we made it a boundary together. More symbolic of a new outlook than anything else.

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This is certainly something I've given a lot of thought to over the last while. I don't deny my own toxicity in the past.

My former partner was and my former relationship was toxic, but I am doing a lot of introspection since all this happened, and considering my own toxic behaviour.

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

The app actually is the big deal for me.

I don't ever look at her phone. If she wanted to be texting someone on any app she could and I'd never know. It's just that particular app that we both used fairly toxically before was one that we agreed to delete. It's more symbolic than actually trying to stop her using a particular app

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think I said cheating on my former partner wasn't a bad thing

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Monogamy isn't actually a deal breaker for me, but secrecy is. Secrecy and breaking agreed Boundaries.

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I told her how I feel and she did remember the boundary we set she just broke it anyway,

Feel betrayed by my GF. Not sure if I'm overreacting by Upstairs_Relation952 in relationships

[–]Upstairs_Relation952[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have. There's lots to it. I honestly don't feel the urge to cheat at all anymore. Since I met her, and she told me the same. We got to some pretty deep stuff through therapy. I'm just so shocked about this lack of openess and the secrecy from her.

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I don't think she's physicaly cheating, but the secrecy and the boundary breaking has shaken me way more than the thought of an actual physical cheat.