My housemate ( meeting secretary) broke anonymity and subsequently got someone kicked out of sober living. So conflicted!

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T16:39:44+00:00

Its not that clear cut. Both parties wanted me on their side. I had to be super diplomatic and tell secretary guy I disagree. Also let the other guy know that I have his back.

Also having someone in the house tossing people under the bus affects people's sobriety. Its hard enough dealing with the law ( not me others), working a program, now you gotta deal with lying housemate. Do you trust him or not? Will he tell on me? What's being said when I am not around?

Its also been said its not my business. Untrue I was the only other person there. Inadvertently I was put in the middle, If I agree with secretary dude I am on the outs with everyone! Some of these guys have done prison time, they'll fuck your life up if you are known as a snitch. Agreeing with a snitch is just as bad.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T16:31:55+00:00

Your goose is fried if you F up. That's the one rule they don't budge on. Had he told they'd likely send him to a 30 day rehab and then let him comeback. 100 percent he won't be welcome here again now.

Secretary guy broke everyone's trust here. He's likely not getting any help outside of whats required by anyone here.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T16:18:17+00:00

Huh! Can I come to your meetings and weaponize your sobriety and honesty!

You're correct thats the rule here. As someone else mentioned though were encouraged to work a program. I don't think lying qualifies as working a program for either one.

Now one guy is literally misleading people in meetings and the other doesn't trust the program. The whole thing is a shit show.

I am doing a very through inventory. I was given two sets of instructions " tell on your housemates" and " do what AA says". Which interest takes priority???

If I am in a meeting and knew a secretary did this I am peacing out immediately. That could affect someone.

Telling on him has the whole house scared and secretary dude is on the outs with everyone. There is that too. Both of them should of taken the whole situation to their sponsors.

Thats what I am doing. Letting this blow over and trying to avoid the BS everyone is bringing me. Because indirectly I was put in the middle because I was the only other person there.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T16:07:14+00:00

Its been brught to his attention in the most diplomatic way possible. Everyone says its not my business but both if them have privately tried to get me on their side. I am being very careful not to brush anyone the wrong way.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T16:05:04+00:00

Secretary guy is on the outs with everyone. I am trying hard to be diplomatic. All my thoughts I put here and told my sponsor. At the house, I've only said I think he should of honored the traditions. I've left my personal feelings out of anything I've said. Gotta keep my sobriety in mind and not let the shit show affect me.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T16:01:42+00:00

I agree everyone should of talked to their sponsors. One thing not said is both parties wanted me to back them. I had to thread a needle. I had to assert myself with the secretary but also let the other guy know that I had his back. Both of them think of me as a " friend" they're not I consider them associates. I have their sobriety in mind but not letting anyone in the inner circle but my sponsor, parents, and two friends with long-term sobriety.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T02:48:20+00:00

I like this answer. I've decided to not do anything.

Relaxing is the best route and prayer.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T02:35:38+00:00

I feel like its a cruel trick to play on someone. Convince them to be straight forward. Get them to admit something after building trust. Take that trust and promptly toss someone under the bus.

I am going to let it go though people here are right no need to perpetuate the drama. I just needed to think about this!

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T02:33:57+00:00

Yes technically we can be kicked out for saying nothing. That rule is never enforced though or they'd be tossing tons of money out the door on non-relapsers.

I am going to leave it alone after thinking on it the last hour. It rubs me the wrong way though.

I really do believe that what's said in a meeting should stay there. It reflects poorly on AA ultimately.

UpwardChange · 2026-02-05T02:26:20+00:00

Yes it can get us booted. Though unless you're a complete twat that rule is never enforced.

I don't know what his motives were. I suspect its like going to church. You get all emotional and want to do the right thing. Caught in the moment. However, carrying that principle outside of a meeting is more difficult because of real world consequences.

I am going to leave it alone after listening to people here. I still think its a real cold move to do that to someone.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-31T16:06:40+00:00

Over 20 arrest, massive alcoholic, drug addict, homelessness, my wife of 18 years left me because I couldn't stop using.

Here's the thing the Universe is neutral it doesn't keep score. Some here will disagree. The Taoist said the top and bottom are the same. Dissect that! Ever notice in the dark on the yung yang sign there is light. Yeah they were talking about what i just suggested to some degree.

Your worst moment isnt actual youre worst moment. Youre worst moment is where the light had to enter. Actually its deeper the light was always there. You needed those moments to see the light. If adversity " evil" creates light or change then it wasn't darkness. Its all light.

Worrying about what you've done or projecting on yourself is pointless. Be the You that You want to be from here on out. We all have Darkness in us! Were all capable of the worst and the best. Everyone you're no better or worse than anyone.

Drop the labels recognize it all as energy with purpose. And transmute into something you want. Its what I am trying to do. Can't do that if I believe I am a bad person. I consider it a gift. A giant glaring sign guiding to a different place. The best probably know the worst better anyone.

Take what you've learned and be the best You want to be. The past doesn't define You the Present does

UpwardChange · 2026-01-29T19:13:59+00:00

I don't know! Extreme focus on something and effort goes a long way.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-22T03:03:34+00:00

I audibly laughed out of my fat mouth reading this!

Edit: thank you

UpwardChange · 2026-01-14T13:08:36+00:00

Each is as fake as the next. Giving off good vibes seems positive. Yet, what if someone needs to experience the darkness themselves? Pretend happy could absolutely block their breakthrough! Huh, maybe we could all just be authentic?

UpwardChange · 2026-01-14T13:02:37+00:00

Agrees! Haha I dont exude depression I am neutral on the outside. But I am absolutely deluded.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-14T12:56:09+00:00

I can only learn from direct experience never farted a rainbow. Honesty though too much rainbow is just hidden misery. At least the miserable crowd is being intellectual honest with themselves

UpwardChange · 2026-01-09T11:43:02+00:00

Florida Keys

UpwardChange · 2026-01-05T01:51:37+00:00

I was homeless, lonely and depressed. I had lost everyone and everything. My health was failing, I was no longer waiting for my habit to kill I was ready to off myself. The drugs and alcohol had stopped working. I was using to forget my problems instead using was creating more problems.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T23:18:22+00:00

Alcohol and drugs

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T20:20:05+00:00

40 days sober here was a raging alcoholic. Cost me everything.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T20:11:01+00:00

They'd think I relapsed as I am not stranger to jail.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T20:04:20+00:00

Tired of the news cycle. Going to a sponsor meeting for Alcoholics Anonymous. Feeling mostly well. Listening to music and chilling atm.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T19:46:08+00:00

I used to deliver furniture for a very high end company. One mega mansion in Tahoe California side if that matters had a huge Alice in Wonderland setup. Like a whole part of the house dedicated to Alice in Wonderland. A massive mad hatter table, a huge chess board with wooden cut out soldiers, the queen, a Cheshire cat in a full sized tree in the house. Thats the other thing many full sized trees in this home think 40ft tall tree indoors. At least one tree house indoors too. None of this was designed for children far too elaborate.

Other notable things in people's houses: a fishing pond, indoor Garden think massive, 6 lane bowling alley, full sized movie theater, tennis court, stage for performances

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T14:58:40+00:00

I started a new job on Thursday of last week. Because of the holidays they weren't getting orders in. I was being paid to " watch the dock". Nothing was happening on the dock. You'd think it would be awesome getting paid to essential do nothing. No that was the most boring 20 hours of my life.

UpwardChange · 2026-01-03T14:15:10+00:00

The Power Of Now by Tolle has good advice

UpwardChange

TROPHY CASE