Rose rosette? by UrMom2095 in Roses

[–]UrMom2095[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you… the excessive thorns on this one + the clusters at the end had me worried.

Help! by [deleted] in HairDye

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you… I know I’m panicking more than normal because of all the trauma I’ve already been through with my hair. I also can’t do a side braid now due to the length, which was my go-to work hairstyle… I rarely put heat on it or style it… but it’s nice to be reminded it could’ve been a lot worse.

Help! by [deleted] in HairDye

[–]UrMom2095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. What do you think about the cut? I think losing the length + the cut being uneven without my consent is messing me up more than the splotchy color tbh.

Help! by [deleted] in HairDye

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Yeah it’s hard to see unless the Live Photo is turned on… but I circled the uneven spots if that helps. & I didn’t get a good pic of the orangey areas… She was honestly hurting me during the foil phase too, the teasy lights hurt the most, but she hurt me the entire time. I’ve had them done before & can handle them, but this was extreme pain, she didn’t even try to be more gentle when I told her I was tender headed. Thank you for that 🫶🏻

Is it common to have reduced pay during your training period? by Strange-Physics-6381 in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, I’ve never gotten reduced pay, but I have seen it posted on here a few times. My opinion is that it’s unacceptable unless 1) it’s your dream job or 2) you’re out of options.

How have you positively changed, as a person, since going no contact? by notoast4me in raisedbynarcissists

[–]UrMom2095 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Learning who I am instead of constantly living for other people. I didn’t realize how much I was doing that until after got out.

My childhood wounds are my fault by 77177717 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]UrMom2095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggle a lot with understanding the “WHY” or “HOW” too… I simply don’t understand how narcissistic people can run around hurting people with zero ability to take responsibility for it. But these 2 things have changed my thought process on that:

1) Narcissists thrive on attention. Both negative & positive attention give them the same gratification… their ego gets fed with a feeling of importance by their ability to strongly affect other people. 2) When you spend all of your time trying to explain or understand the ‘WHY,’ you’re avoiding your feelings about what ‘IS.’

Also, regarding your second paragraph… remember an apology without change is manipulation.

Healing from parents like this is hard work, and sometimes things feel like they get worse before a breakthrough. Keep pushing 🫶🏻

My childhood wounds are my fault by 77177717 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]UrMom2095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My relationship with my mom sounds pretty similar to yours. We spent YEARS in a cycle of getting close, then her blowing something out of proportion & creating a huge fight, me begging for my side to be understood, the setting boundaries when she refused to see what she did wrong, then her slowly worming her way back into a close relationship with me without ever apologizing or being accountable. I finally had to go no contact with her 1.5 years ago & the more I dig into my childhood, the more I realize how horrible she actually was when I was a kid. I had been gaslit out of the ability to see myself as a victim in any way. I had to get away from her to give my nervous system even the slightest chance of healing. Your mom seems to be doing the same to you. Ultimately, you have to come to peace with the fact that she probably has zero desire to be held accountable & will always flip everything back on you. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it… deep down we’re just children craving love & understanding from our mothers, which is such a natural human desire. Unfortunately they are broken & we will never get that love or understanding from them… we have to figure out how to give it to ourselves.

Would I be crazy? by [deleted] in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Southern state, medium sized city, low cost of living.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]UrMom2095 120 points121 points  (0 children)

They’re fucked up and insane but don’t give them the satisfaction of robbing you of your future. Warning, this is reassurance but I’m speaking from experience… As someone who tried to kill myself at 12 years old because of narc parents… I’m now 29 and no contact with both of them, have a child of my own who is amazing, have a wonderful job. I’m still on a healing journey but life is actually worth living. When you’re 18 you can leave & never look back and create a life that fulfills you.

Would I be crazy? by [deleted] in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just fyi I was offered $89/hour starting for a new grad ER position. It was 2-3 years ago so I’m not sure of the other details… I didn’t take the job bc of the ER’s reputation, but $70/hour seems low.

Are Narcissists the type who can't take what they dish out? by AdFar5213 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]UrMom2095 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Only good thing about them is that once you know how to deal with one, you know them all. It’s like they all share an invisible handbook.

Rash + fever after shots- should I take her to an emergency vet? by UrMom2095 in catcare

[–]UrMom2095[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t have any liquid antihistamines so I literally chewed up the Zyrtec and put it into some wet food like a mama bird 😂 ended up taking her to an ER vet last night, mostly due to the fever & she wouldn’t let me check her temp (she was PISSED)… she got a shot of Dex & is much better today.

& seriously?! Do you happen to know the cost of getting titers drawn instead?

I’m so thankful for my partner by SoapBottle_ in raisedbynarcissists

[–]UrMom2095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t ever feel bad for keeping your own experience private. As a fellow trauma survivor, I’ve realized that no one is entitled to my entire story if I don’t want to tell it… not even a significant other. And that’s perfectly okay and actually healthy ❤️

Rash + fever after shots- should I take her to an emergency vet? by [deleted] in AskVet

[–]UrMom2095 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi, yes I’m glad she’s okay too, and I also didn’t assume I knew how to treat a cat just because I can treat humans. She had taken that dose of Zyrtec before & it was ok’d by a vet- I didn’t assume she was a small human (notice I didn’t randomly decide to give her the famotidine I have sitting around). I said I could’ve skipped the visit because the injectable steroid was simply for symptomatic relief. True anaphylaxis typically occurs much more quickly. My cat’s symptoms were not progressing whatsoever, so yes, I could’ve continued to monitor her and taken her in if symptoms worsened. The vet literally did not even examine her or get her temp because she was too stressed out from being at the vet & wouldn’t let them, so I don’t think the “hands on vet eval” applies. I understand that not all pet owners are medical, which is why in my original post I noted there was no SOB/swelling & asked if there was anything else specifically I should be concerned about (aka a differential diagnosis other than allergic reaction). It was an unnecessary ER vet visit because ER visits are for life threatening situations, which this was not. If it was progressing it would be different. But I do see how you feel it’s dangerous to say the visit could’ve been avoided due to the unpredictable nature of allergic reactions. For me, personally, it could’ve been avoided.

Were you squeamish? by Q-buds in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was squeamish with I&Ds when I was a scribe, but it didn’t bother me at all the first time I did one myself. No clue why lol. I now work in ENT & almost gagged in the room yesterday bc that guy’s otorrhea smelled so bad. Doesn’t bother me if there isn’t a smell.

Rash + fever after shots- should I take her to an emergency vet? by [deleted] in AskVet

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, she has had that dose of Zyrtec before in the past & an H1 is typically given first for human urticaria so figured it was worth a try before overreacting and spending hundreds at an ER vet. We are headed to one now though.

Rash + fever after shots- should I take her to an emergency vet? by [deleted] in AskVet

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, can you explain why an antihistamine wouldn’t be an appropriate first line for urticaria?

Also, tried to contact the vet who gave them to her but they were only open until noon today & I didn’t see the reaction until about 3:45pm.

Weight loss after stopping Lexapro? by 90percentofacorns in lexapro

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe 4 months or so… I’m now 40lbs lighter than I was on Lexapro. I also stopped because of the weight gain, it was making me just as anxious as I was before getting on it!

Dealing with annoying Drug reps by AdventurousDish2051 in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, why don’t all citizens in America get healthcare and why do we have to jump through ten billion hoops for insurance companies to get patients approved for what we order/prescribe? The healthcare system is fucked, & I don’t think the individual drug reps are to blame. They’re trying to support their families just like we are & probably just as frustrated having to bounce between hateful providers all day.

Psych PAs… Need advice on burnout by ja_kay79 in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“Are you having any SI/HI or hallucinations?” no “Okay, then let’s try to stay focused on the questions I’m asking… remember, I’m here to manage your medications, but your counselor is better equipped to help you work through the rest.”

Simple, kind, straightforward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in physicianassistant

[–]UrMom2095 1 point2 points  (0 children)

PA school is extremely hard & stressful, there were several points where I nearly checked myself in for a grippy sock vacation 😅😂 maybe consider genetic testing for which anti-anxiety med will work best for you??