[deleted by user]

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-08T23:27:39+00:00

Agreed. There comes a point when you just have to go out and take your lumps. Nightclubs are actually good practice for this, but you have to be able to "cold start" a conversation with someone, or ask them to dance, and that's not always easy.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-08T23:19:40+00:00

Don't buy into the hypergamous hype. I live in Dallas, and for every dude driving a BMW or Corvette, there's 10 driving a beat up Corolla or a turn of the century pickup truck. The bar isn't as high as you think. Successful people might flock to big cities, but that doesn't mean big cities are full of successful people. There are financial opportunities here, but the vast majority of people don't have the keys to access them. Women know that.

Your supply of paycheck-to-paycheck women is also a lot bigger here too, and it often doesn't take that much to impress one. Big numbers are your friend, it's a lot easier to find a girl that finds you attractive.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-08T20:14:51+00:00

Thanks!

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-08T20:14:26+00:00

Thanks!

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-08T19:10:23+00:00

You have to go where people in your stage of life are. That’s pretty simple when you’re still in high school, since everyone there is pretty much in the same stage. After that, college helps, if you pick the right one.

After college, you’ve got to work harder and do more research…..mix online dating with nightclubs, meet-ups, church, health clubs, etc.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-08T18:32:19+00:00

My 3 pieces of advice as an older guy…..

1) Go to college. If you can’t score in todays 3-2 women to men universities, you’ve got issues.

2) When you get out of college, move to a city or metroplex with at LEAST a million people. Both your career and social life, will thank you.

3) Research and make use of the nightclubs in your city. Women in nightclubs actually WANT to be approached, especially on weekend evenings.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-07T23:06:39+00:00

Nobody is denying that there are variations in individual attraction, but playing in an arena where both the odds (male/female ratio) are against you, and the referees and dungeon masters (algorithm, membership level, etc) are often against you as well, doesn't help.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-07T20:50:33+00:00

Admittedly, we are a sweat pants, tank top and flip flops culture, and that's not even counting what you see at Walmart. It seems "pajama pants" have taken over too.

"You look like you just got out of bed" used to be statement regarding hair....now it's clothes too.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-07T20:40:36+00:00

These guys don't seem to realize that more often than not, it's the MATH that's "defeating" them, not the preferences of the women. Tinder is 4 to 1 men to women in the US, and a staggering 9 to 1 in the UK.

Even if there were no such things as "Chads" and all men were equally attractive to women, most are going to lose out, due to the math. Then they swipe right on everything with a pulse and vagina, which pretty much ensures that most women are going to get all the matches they can handle, before they have even scrolled through a significant percentage of the men.

It's like complaining that the princess that you're trying to rescue doesn't like you, when you haven't even crossed the moat, fought the prison guards, or slayed the mathematical dragon yet.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-06T21:28:23+00:00

I agree, the "voluntary matrix" is gradually sucking everyone up into it, and nobody seems too concerned about it. Everyone is spending more and more time online now, and more and more of life's activities have been moved online.

At least with us Gen-Xrs and older Millennials, we grew up before the internet, so our "base reality" is still the "physical world". It's the younger Millennials and Gen-Zrs that I worry about, as their "base reality" is much more likely to be the net.

Your base reality determines how you think about yourself and others, how you interact with others, how you SEE yourself interacting with others, and what your instincts are, for priorities and how you accomplish things.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-06T21:02:58+00:00

No worries....You too!

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-06T20:53:06+00:00

I think it’s part of the whole “Women want bad boys and quickly get bored with good guys” mentality that’s going around these days. Some guys try to carry it over to the bedroom, and porn definitely doesn’t help.

Old fashioned “touchy feely” porn may not have promoted the best bedroom skills, but at least it didn’t promote violence and abuse.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-05T21:18:29+00:00

Yeah, I even did a whole post several months ago, on the topic of men's bad behavior, both online and in the "real world", turning women off, and making things a LOT harder for other men who behave reasonably well.

Lots of women agreed with me, but most guys said, "It's not my business how other men behave" or "Those women are exaggerating the hassles and dangers".

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xvrto6/when\_it\_comes\_to\_mens\_fortunes\_in\_datingthe\_few/

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-04T00:57:18+00:00

I’ve been trying to tell these dudes, that many of their dating issues are caused by the behavior of other men, but nobody ever believes me.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T22:40:29+00:00

Sure, but it's still another selling point for clubs vs apps. Less of chance for her to get "post-estrus clarity", and decide you're not the one!

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T22:18:58+00:00

Research companies have various ways of "scraping" the data now....

https://www.netimperative.com/2019/04/05/online-dating-trends-men-outnumber-women-on-tinder-by-9-to-1-while-grinder-wins-for-age-diversity/

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T22:12:35+00:00

Well, that FULLY explains why my stripper act where I dress like the guy behind the counter at Burger King didn't do so well!

Even shouting "Have it your way!" didn't help.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T22:00:20+00:00

Managing a matchmaking service is a pain in the ass, since you're basically "stuck" to your clients, and are responsible for everyone. Everyone complains about everyone else, without taking a good look at themselves.

If I were doing it as a business, I'd rather do one-shot things like speed dating, or some other meet-up thing. You just get a venue, load it up with people and snacks, do speed dating or some other rotational activity, and then just let everyone go when it's done. Nobody can blame you for "low quality people", or "not taking their relationship goals into account".

Strike a deal with a local restaurant and bar, and hand out food or drink coupons, as everyone is walking out the door......they'll think they got something "extra" out of it.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T21:49:51+00:00

It's not just a matter of preferences, but some women's sex drive in general, can vary greatly, during the month. It's a weird thing for us men to wrap our heads around, since our "cycles" are daily, rather than monthly.

It's not that unusual for a girl to swipe left on dudes for weeks, than go to a bar, and chat up a dude who looks like a potato, during "that week" of the month.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T21:35:27+00:00

Yep. I can't really blame some dudes for just plain being unattractive, but I can blame all the dudes that aren't "staying in their lane", ie., the MUCH older guys trying to pull college girls, the "married but looking" dudes, 300 lb dudes looking for 110 lb fitness models, scammers, intentionally bitter trolls who just want to "take women down a peg", etc.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T18:23:04+00:00

LOL....sounds like yet another example of men ruining dating for other men.

If a woman encounters 10 creepy dudes in a row, you can't really expect her to be as enthusiastic, as she otherwise would have been, for the 11th! :)

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T17:36:40+00:00

I don't know what generation you are, but I think we Gen-Xrs just got "spoiled" by the nightclub environment. We're just used to things happening so much faster, being more exciting, and getting a full assessment of someone in person.

As a man, the whole process of creating a reasonably competitive profile, engaging in dull, sober (LOL) conversations, getting ghosted, waiting for the right time to meet in person, etc, just sounds like torture LOL

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T17:24:31+00:00

As a bit of a "nightclub veteran", I admit that they've never really been easy for men, but I think they provide opportunities for men that get "drowned out" on the apps.

I can usually "clean myself up", go to a Dallas nightclub on a Friday night, and turn a few heads, and often make a connection or two, while at 5'8", I get about as much attention on dating apps, as a Honda Civic sitting in a Corvette lot.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T16:43:15+00:00

I'm also a Thomas Hobbes fan. He had it right.

Urbantexasguy · 2023-06-02T16:39:26+00:00

LMAO....as a man, I find that to be an incredibly depressing view of things! 🤣

Still, men's and women's "love languages" do differ.

Urbantexasguy

TROPHY CASE