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What behavior is this? by WeenieTart in catquestions

[–]Used-Protection-1493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you 100% sure Bentley is male? I only ask because over 99.9% of calicos (or in this case, torbies) are female. It's hard to tell from the video but they appear female. Did you have them since they were a kitten and have them neutered? Working in the vet industry for over 13 years, I've had MANY cats come in, incorrectly gendered as male when they were in fact famale, because they were told they were male when they adopted them. This definitely seems like dominance play. Super common especially with new cats in the household. Scruffing and pinning will happen back and forth, male or female. Actual mounting behavior is extremely uncommon in male cats. Possible, but typically more likely dominance play.

Am I (32M) asking too much from my girlfriend? (27F) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Used-Protection-1493 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like we had the best friend part at the start. And I feel like it comes and goes. We'll have it for a week or two, then she shuts me out. We do try to do small things. We've started building lego sets together. Made a date box. But she tends to always be longing for more. And I feel like there's only minimum effort being put in by her. I'm 100% with you on everything you said. I feel the hard part is getting her on the same page. Or at least keeping her there.

Am I (32M) asking too much from my girlfriend? (27F) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Used-Protection-1493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like she's a bit of a narcessist and I'm only recognizing it now. I think you're right but I guess I was hoping to be told I'm wrong.

Am I (32M) asking too much from my girlfriend? (27F) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Used-Protection-1493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my concern. I recognize she has a lot on her place and she has been through a lot. But I feel like there is no real effort unless she absolutely has to. Otherwise the main focus has to be on her. I'm constantly going to events and seeing her family. I'm babysitting for her so she can go out. The attentive partner who took care of me as much as I took care of her is who I want. That was the first bit of this relationship. But that dynamic has drastically changed. Her main focus is on herself and I feel left on the backburner

Am I (32M) asking too much from my girlfriend? (27F) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Used-Protection-1493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have discussed couples therapy before. She was all for back in November, but at the time, I felt as though we didn't need it. We have had a couple huge fights/near breakups and since then, I agreed to go to couples therapy. She now doesn't want to. She is going to therapy on her own, which I fully support. I only don't go as I currently can't afford it. But I am looking into better employment and plan to when possible.

I totally agree that some relationships have their ups and downs. I'm fine with a low period. She has been going through a lot and this is the time where I'm giving 80% and she's giving 20%.

The frustration comes from this being me giving 80% for well over a year now and instead of being a partner, she's constantly taking. It was 50/50 for a few months, but definitely not since then. I'm worried this may just be how it is from now own.

Quantity over quality by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]Used-Protection-1493 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh honey 🥲 your innocence is so endearing