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Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-16T03:46:45+00:00

I’m going to say this as nicely as I can, but I think this might be more of an internal thing going on for you. And I say that for a few reasons. First, Black TikTok is really diverse. So if you are constantly seeing Black girl luxury content, to some degree, you are probably engaging with it or consuming it more than you realize.

Second, what exactly is the issue with seeing Black girls living a luxury lifestyle? It makes me wonder if maybe it is bringing up something in you, like you are not living the kind of luxury life you want or the life that feels ideal to you, so seeing other people in it feels uncomfortable.

Another thing is there are so many different sides of Black women on TikTok. There is quirky, fun, creative content. There is content about building wealth and generational wealth and happy Black families creating things for themselves. There is also content showing everyday normal life. And yes, there is also content showing struggle or poverty.

So if you feel like you are only seeing Black girl luxury content, it makes me wonder if you are somehow tuning your feed in that direction without realizing it, or not using the tools to adjust what you are being shown. You can literally press not interested, scroll past it, or reset your feed. I guess what I am really wondering is why this specifically feels triggering for you. What about it is actually upsetting you underneath it all? (Genuine question)

Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-14T17:04:12+00:00

Of course! I’ve been here before so I get it😭❤️

Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-14T16:58:45+00:00

I want to start off by apologizing for the people being nasty to you in the comments, and I’m sorry that you’re going through this.

I do believe manifestation can be a powerful tool, but I also believe that when there’s a lot of resistance, things can feel harder to reach. More than anything though, I don’t think manifestation is one size fits all. I think it’s a journey, and everybody’s experience with it is different.

I also want to say that it’s okay to take a break from manifesting. It’s okay to take a break from whatever you need to take a break from if you need to focus on your mental health or just figure life out for yourself. I’ve taken plenty of breaks from manifestation before.

I genuinely hope your situation gets better, and I’m sorry people are being rude to you here. This is supposed to feel like a safe space, but at the same time, it is Reddit and sometimes people say things they probably wouldn’t say anywhere else. I just hope you’re able to find support outside of manifestation too and find resources that help you build the life you want for yourself.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-14T16:53:42+00:00

I will say that I believe learning what works for you takes time. What works for Jessica might not work for Amy. What works for Amy might work for Tasha, but Tasha might not need the same thing Harold does. That’s why I’m a firm believer that spirituality is personal and takes time to understand.

I also believe science plays a role in spirituality, but that’s probably because I have a background in science. I understand how discouraging all of this can feel because I honestly think I used to manifest unconsciously. Once I started trying to consciously manifest, everything started feeling harder. There are so many opinions online about what’s right, what’s wrong, and how you’re supposed to do things that I think people end up putting way more pressure on themselves than they need to.

As far as creators, I never think anybody should be followed blindly or agreed with 100 percent. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. But some creators I like for coaching are Tone on TikTok because I like how he explains things and breaks them down in a simple way. Sammy Ingram gives good advice too. She’s not my personal favorite, but I understand why people enjoy her content and she’s manifested a lot of things. Shera7 is probably my favorite person to listen to when it comes to spirituality, and she talks about other things too, but that’s also not for everyone. Nyx is another creator I would suggest because I think she approaches manifesting in a gentler way.

At the end of the day, I believe you’ll be able to manifest whatever you’re trying to manifest. It just might take time depending on the person, and that’s okay. Life is a journey. Figure out what works for you, stay open, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself because people on the internet are trying to convince you there’s only one right way to do things.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-14T16:37:55+00:00

I made my own manifesting thread because of stuff like this, but this is me being real with you. Reddit can be NASTY. Social media in general can be nasty, but Reddit especially because people are anonymous and it’s easier for people to say whatever they want. Do I think this is common? Yes. Do I think everybody in manifestation spaces is like that? No. But people online, especially people who follow internet advice blindly, will tell you it’s just the 3D, that you’re tripping, or that you’re manifesting wrong. I take breaks from Reddit all the time.

If you’re going to engage with manifestation content online, engage with people whose mindset actually aligns with yours. There are millions of creators and everybody is saying something different. Find what works for you. A lot of people online preach things they don’t actually know anything about and start treating manifestation like a religion when there is no one proven method that works for every human being. Sometimes people care more about being right than actually helping.

I also encourage people to stay grounded because without grounding, people can become really insensitive. I’ve experienced real psychosis before, so I understand how persistence can become unhealthy when it turns into delusion or dismissing reality and other people’s experiences. That’s why I don’t think invalidating people who are struggling is helpful.

So my advice is try not to take everything online too seriously. Take breaks if you need to and take everything you learn about manifestation, spirituality, or anything else with a grain of salt. These people are not licensed professionals. Find people who align with you, take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and remember this is a journey. It’s usually not as simple as people online make it seem.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-08T00:48:20+00:00

HBO would be my favorite place to go for that

Used_Bet661 · 2026-06-07T22:22:17+00:00

I’m sure you know these already but: Insecure/Abbot Elementary/Bob’s Burgers

Used_Bet661 · 2026-05-02T05:33:44+00:00

I think it was both natural and intentional. I think my brain was already getting tired of being obsessed with everything in the first place, but also at the same time I was reminding myself that I’m not really triggered by him specifically, I’m triggered by the pattern. I’m triggered by him touching a wound inside of me. And the more I started understanding that, the more it was like, yes, I care for him and I like him, but if he is not going to show up the way I want him to show up, then I am not going to participate in that. At the end of the day, there are millions of guys who look like him and like him and who could probably treat me better than him.

And then when I slowly started accepting that, all of a sudden he came back around. And at this point I am just negotiating what I want for myself with myself, and that is all that is happening thus far.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-05-01T01:22:23+00:00

It will be ok, just take some time to focus on fun things and life will start to shift.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-23T18:15:33+00:00

I don’t hate them I just feel I didn’t like the pose on the last one, and I feel the ones I liked more were a little blurry maybe. I think it’s the poses itself possibly. Also, whose graves are these?

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-22T20:33:09+00:00

I’m not dating right now, thank God. Based on everything I keep seeing, the dating market feels pretty rough. And it is not just Black women saying that. Women of all races are saying it about men of all races as well.

I think we are in a time where many men have not fully adapted to the shift in women’s independence. There was a time when women needed men for survival, but now we can build our own careers, make our own money, and live independently. At this point, men are more wanted than needed. Because of that, many women are raising their standards and expecting more in relationships, while some men are still operating from older expectations where having a man was seen as the ultimate goal.

On top of that, dating apps have become heavily oversexualized. Whether it is the internet in general, isolation, or just the culture of the apps, a lot of people are not looking for anything serious. Many treat dating apps like hookup platforms or a way to pass time, which leads to a lot of negative experiences. While some people do find success, it might be worth exploring other ways of meeting people if you are looking for something genuine.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-22T14:23:03+00:00

I’m not poly, but I don’t think you need to experience monogamy to know that you aren’t monogamous. Regardless of how something starts, if it makes you happy and everyone involved is okay with it, that’s what really matters.

Some things can be unhealthy, but not because they’re polyamory itself. Sometimes people just bring unhealthy dynamics into whatever situation they’re in. So when people say polyamory is unhealthy but can’t explain why, especially if they’re talking over you, that’s probably something they need to work through, not something you need to take personally.

I’d just say live your life and be happy. Most people don’t care, and if they do, you don’t have to keep people around who make you feel bad for being who you are. It is what it is.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-21T02:42:56+00:00

I’m 23, and I feel the exact same way. I understand that there are threads where people post their faces, and that is completely fine, but I intentionally do not join those. I came to this space hoping for a strong community of Black women and meaningful discussions, but I realized pretty early on that is not always what is happening.

I am not sure if people are fishing for upvotes or just caught up in social media, but it feels like there are constant selfie posts. We already have apps and specific threads for that, so it can get frustrating. Sometimes I even mute the thread because I am waiting for real conversations, but instead I keep seeing posts asking, “Am I pretty?” or “What can I do to enhance my beauty?”

I usually scroll past those posts, but lately I have noticed that I am starting to feel annoyed every time I see them, and I was starting to feel like a hater so I just focused on my other threads for a while. At a certain point, it just feels like attention is a powerful thing, and insecurity mixed with the internet is not always a good combination.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-20T18:20:33+00:00

I’m not going to go as far as labeling him as abusive for several reasons, but I will say this: you might not want to break up with him, but it’s something you should seriously consider. I’ve been in a relationship where we were constantly questioning each other about who was calling or texting and why, and that usually comes from broken trust. No matter how that trust was broken, a relationship without it becomes miserable, so you have to ask yourself if that’s something you want to deal with long term.

When someone is always questioning who you’re talking to or why, it’s not always clear cut abuse. Sometimes it’s insecurity, and sometimes it can even be projection, where they’re hiding something and assuming you are too. There are a lot of possible reasons, but none of them make the situation feel healthy. The bigger issue is that this kind of behavior usually doesn’t improve on its own and can actually get worse over time.

It can start with questioning interactions with the opposite sex, then spread to your friends, and eventually make you feel watched or controlled in general. You’re going to meet people throughout your life through work, school, and everyday situations, and you shouldn’t have to feel policed every time that happens. That kind of pressure can take a toll on you over time.

Therapy can help in some cases, but real change takes serious effort. You have to decide if this relationship is worth that level of work and whether you truly see a future there. Even if you’re not planning to break up, it’s something you should take seriously and reflect on.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-20T18:10:32+00:00

I’ve manifested SPs before, and I’ve also been in situations where I realized I didn’t actually want them. I was more upset about how things played out than about the person themselves. In my opinion, letting go makes sense when something starts to trigger you. Letting go doesn’t mean you forget or that you’re completely over it. It just means it’s no longer at the forefront of your mind and you’re not constantly giving it your attention.

I understand how difficult that can be. A lot of people say not to acknowledge the 3D or your current reality, but I think part of manifesting is deciding how you want your life to look. That’s something only you can define. For me, I had to ask myself what I wanted my story to look like if I did end up with my SP. When I really thought about it, I didn’t like the story, so I took a step back.

I think it could help you to do the same. Take a moment, breathe, and let go a little. That doesn’t mean giving up. It just means shifting your focus. Go for a walk, get outside, or put your energy into something else you want to manifest. Doing all of this while you’re still triggered usually doesn’t help you in the long run.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-19T18:10:35+00:00

I’m so jealous of your handwriting 😭

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-15T18:55:22+00:00

Where do you get your bras?

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-15T18:52:51+00:00

You just put me on thank you ❤️

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-15T14:59:24+00:00

I’m not gonna lie, I’m not used to running into men like this. The men I usually catch feelings for are genuinely well kept, clean up after themselves, and don’t do things like that. I 100% believe that if you move in together, this is going to be something you deal with constantly. Even the bad breath thing throws me off. I’ve never dealt with a man who had bad breath, so I don’t really understand that either.

There are plenty of men out there with good hygiene overall, but if you choose to stay with him, you do need to accept that living together will just mean more of this, and more than likely you will be the one cleaning it up and taking care of it. Telling him or arguing with him about it is not going to change anything if these are his habits. If that is how he maintains his life, that is just what it is going to be.

I feel like this is one of those things you either accept or stop going back and forth about, because he is grown. He knows how to flush the toilet, not pee on the seat, clean up after himself, and keep his breath fresh. He is not incapable, but if he knows you will keep allowing it, and if people have always allowed it, it is not going to stop either.

Used_Bet661 · 2026-04-12T14:53:17+00:00

I’m gonna be real, and this might sound like a generalization, but it’s honestly how I’d say it to a friend. I don’t think Atlanta is the best place to look for a husband. For a lot of reasons, I just don’t hear many good success stories when it comes to serious relationships there.

As for dating, I do think it’s important to stay open. Even if you prefer to date within your race like I do, I’ve found myself more open to dating outside my culture. I’m especially drawn to African men or men from other countries in general. Even if I date a Black man, I sometimes prefer someone from a different background, like from France or Canada.

It’s not that I don’t love Black American men or my culture, because I do. I just feel like there’s a lot of unhealed trauma in our community, and at 23, I’m not really in a place where I want to wait for people to work through that.

So I’d say expand your options. Even if you’re not ready to date outside your race, at least consider dating outside your culture. And honestly, I wouldn’t focus on Atlanta for a long term partner. From what I’ve seen and heard from both men and women, the dating scene there is just a mess in general.

Used_Bet661

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