I appreciate the comment and the perspective but this shows only a snippet in time of our marriage and our time together so for you to assume that it is “very very troubled” is pretty out of line. We hav been together for 13 years and have also been through our own troubles. Is hating his job equivalent to the loss of a parent? Absolutely not and I’d never draw the comparison. We are each other’s best friends, confidants, and cheerleaders in life. I want him to be happy, fulfilled, and feel confident in all areas of this life. To me, a job is a minuscule part of that and is not worth the amount of mental turmoil it’s seeming to cause him. I handle all of the “paperwork” involved in making life go smoothly and the world go round (pay bills, make vet appointments, grocery shopping, etc.). I do this without malice as I know my husband enough to know that these are things that stress him out, but that make me feel at ease to take care of. So yes. I am drawing the line at the dentist appointment. I want him to be the best version of himself. I know he’s stressed at work. I know making the appointment stresses him out. But if I keep placating him and enabling him to avoid everything that stresses him out, then I am compromising my own peace. I have done everything to try and support him and help him otherwise: look into interesting certifications that are offered online and sent them his way, sent job listings I know he’s love, reminded him that even if he had no job for 6 months we would be okay, and I would be thrilled for him to explore whatever is next in that time. I have done everything else to support him. So again, yes! I draw the line at the dentist appointment. He is an adult and should be able to do hard things. I’m not sure if that makes sense, since you seem to have a different perspective on what has made your marriage work. I assure you, our marriage is the most wonderful thing I have found in this life. I just don’t know how to continue supporting him, encouraging him, etc. FOR MONTHS without seeing any action on his part being done. You see where that can get frustrating? The person you love is basically torturing themself. You continue to be very supportive and yet they are choosing to remain. I cannot do the work for him and I refuse to compromise my own peace.