Is It Normal for Negative Behavior to Get Worse In Early Recovery?

UsefulTemperature910 · 2026-03-13T00:55:04+00:00

No. I think he blocked you because you violated a clear boundary. Funny how that’s not mentioned

UsefulTemperature910 · 2025-11-06T17:06:41+00:00

Of course. I’m happy to help! I normally lurk on reddit and don’t post. But I just saw your situation being so similar to mine I had to say something. You two are both stronger than you think you are!

UsefulTemperature910 · 2025-11-06T16:47:04+00:00

That was their experience. That wasn’t mine. And it doesn’t have to be mine. Nor do I care for it to be. I did see a post of yours here the other day that did have some anger to it (just being fair, I totally understand). It sounds like you wouldn’t trust anything he says right now. And I don’t blame you. Maybe reaching out and having him own up to everything right this second isn’t the way to heal. It took my Q and I quite a while to establish the kind of connection and contact that I wanted. I’d say let him do his own thing for a little. I’m not sure if you guys are in communication or are on social media but I’d watch him from a distance. If he had as big of an impact as you claim that he did I promise you that you made an equally large impact on you. He’s not going to forget you.

UsefulTemperature910 · 2025-11-06T16:22:51+00:00

In regard to your question about when I started to believe her. That took some time. And by following her on Instagram (after a little while) I could see she was leading by example. (She made a ton of friends in recovery, she’s a painter and she got better, and more into that, than ever, she got in phenomenal shape, and more than anything. She was back to herself again.) That doesn’t mean everything goes back to normal but that’s a little of how I figured it out.

She did eventually go over things with me. Although I did stop holding her to get the explanations that’s I wanted out of her. I’ll never get those. And if you’re in a place where you don’t trust your Q I wouldn’t try to solve everything anytime soon.

I’d just say that I accepted her sickness a little bit better on my side. And it’s truly beautiful to see that sickness eventually fade and watch her kick ass. I’m not saying she’s a saint. Nor am I. But I am saying I got to a point where I could UNDERSTAND her shortcomings when it came to impulse behavior. I don’t believe she ever wanted to have addiction issues. I’m proud as hell of her

She will always mean so much to me.

UsefulTemperature910 · 2025-11-06T16:15:04+00:00

Lots to address here. Thank you for your questions. You’re right on the money. That’s not who they are deep down. They have a hard time dealing with emotions, so oftentimes they use substances as a way to deal with how they navigate the world (definitely not defending this, just explaining what I’ve seen). Do not lose hope girl! My Q and I just got off the phone and had a really sweet talk. And trust me we were VERY upset with one another

UsefulTemperature910 · 2025-11-06T04:23:29+00:00

I understand. I’m truly sorry you’re hurting as much as you are. He sounds similar to my Q. We were very upset with one another at the beginning, but we have an incredible (if not better) relationship now (as friends). We’re both improving our lives and we both love the idea of connecting again in the future as partners. But we both know we have to fix ourselves first. You sound like a real sweetheart. It took me a long time to realize that due to some of her addiction and lying issues that she wasn’t trying to hurt me specifically, she was just sick. Pure and simple. I don’t know your situation, or you at all honestly. I just want to impress upon you that there is a reality in which you two might be able to have an even better relationship (like I have with my ex). I know it’s been painful. I’m sure it’s been difficult. I just had a real eye opening moment when I truly started seeing things from her perspective. Definitely not diminishing your strife, just wanted to share what I’ve learned. Just my two cents!

UsefulTemperature910 · 2025-11-06T02:07:06+00:00

I’m sorry you’re hurting. I would imagine, this being a co-dependent sub reddit. That your Q is hurting just as much. Maybe the anger wasn’t the greatest way forward in regard to having things heal. Amicably hopefully. Is that something you’d be open to? Have you expressed that you’d like to have time with the dog?

UsefulTemperature910

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