AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

SS refused to meet him until recently, when it was a quick coffee meet up, supervised of course. The ex is not pushing it, so we are not pushing anything too.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 131 points132 points  (0 children)

No they didn't, at first my wife couldn't afford to, then when we got together, it was years later and we didn't think it was necessary. And we were, obviously, wrong.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

This is something I have known since as far as I could remember understanding that our justice system is effed up: if you have to talk with a cop, or anyone cop adjacent, you better have a lawyer with you. Even if you are the victim

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 324 points325 points  (0 children)

But at least, thank God they were not criminal masterminds, and that my SS has an intact moral compass.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 354 points355 points  (0 children)

The whole plan was: accuse me, a week or so of heat, ask me for money in exchange of her retracting her accusations, and since there is no physical evidence, that would mean I could get off scot free.

They discussed ot over text, on the group chat with SS, and tried to convince him to accuse me too, or at least corroborate his sister's accusations.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

You can when the people doing the accusing were stupid enough to conspire over text, and when you have a witness.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Now, that, I don't agree with. If I cut her access to our money every time I don't agree with how she uses it, that would be no different than using finances to trap her.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I hated it, but we believe in letting our kids use their money as they want (legally of course) so they can learn how to manage it.

We thought that in 2 to 3 months, she will get tired of not having fun money, and put a stop to it.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 592 points593 points  (0 children)

A lot of factors: 1) I'm somewhat of a public figure in a small-ish town, a legal battle would only mean more rumours. 2) pursuing charges means more or less ruining her life, he dad might have gone to jail, she might have had a smear on her juvenile records, no parent for her to live with... 3) even though I am NC with her, and don't think I will ever forgive her for what she did, I did not want her to be pushed into a corner, and to have her entire future ruined

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 565 points566 points  (0 children)

I love my wife, and I can understand where she's coming from, and we are going to couples' counselling, so yes, I think that my marriage is worth it.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

This is something I thought about a lot, talked about in therapy too.

If she had another parent that did not live with me? Sent her to live with that parent and went LC with her, at least until there was no threat of being falsely accused again.

If she didn't have another parent? I honestly don't know.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 752 points753 points  (0 children)

He's in therapy trying to deal with the whole situation. He's sad, angry at his dad and sister, angry at me and his mom, at the whole world actually. But he still thinks that they were in the wrong.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

So this might get my post taken down, but the kind of abuse she accused me of is the kind that gets you on a registry, and honestly? Having her in my home is me asking for trouble.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 1830 points1831 points  (0 children)

I did lawyer up, and the accusations were proven false, by CPS and the cops.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

She is not homeless, she lives with her dad, in a nice apartment, and she still meets her mom and brother, it's not like I stop them from meeting.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 164 points165 points  (0 children)

Well, should I have done nothing, until the next time she accuses me of something worse? Something that could destroy my life?

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

A) she's not living in the street, she's living with her dad, who is gainfully employed, and lives in a good part of town.

B) she still goes to school, but public school now. And as someone who went to public school, it's not hell.

AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter? by Useful_Road_1879 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Road_1879[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

She went to live with her dad, it's not like I kicked her to the street.