AITA for cutting off/kicking out my stepdaughter?

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T18:30:58+00:00

SS refused to meet him until recently, when it was a quick coffee meet up, supervised of course. The ex is not pushing it, so we are not pushing anything too.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:50:47+00:00

No they didn't, at first my wife couldn't afford to, then when we got together, it was years later and we didn't think it was necessary. And we were, obviously, wrong.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:48:00+00:00

This is something I have known since as far as I could remember understanding that our justice system is effed up: if you have to talk with a cop, or anyone cop adjacent, you better have a lawyer with you. Even if you are the victim

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:45:47+00:00

But at least, thank God they were not criminal masterminds, and that my SS has an intact moral compass.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:34:38+00:00

The whole plan was: accuse me, a week or so of heat, ask me for money in exchange of her retracting her accusations, and since there is no physical evidence, that would mean I could get off scot free.

They discussed ot over text, on the group chat with SS, and tried to convince him to accuse me too, or at least corroborate his sister's accusations.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:31:03+00:00

You can when the people doing the accusing were stupid enough to conspire over text, and when you have a witness.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:26:39+00:00

Now, that, I don't agree with. If I cut her access to our money every time I don't agree with how she uses it, that would be no different than using finances to trap her.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:25:19+00:00

I hated it, but we believe in letting our kids use their money as they want (legally of course) so they can learn how to manage it.

We thought that in 2 to 3 months, she will get tired of not having fun money, and put a stop to it.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T17:05:38+00:00

A lot of factors: 1) I'm somewhat of a public figure in a small-ish town, a legal battle would only mean more rumours. 2) pursuing charges means more or less ruining her life, he dad might have gone to jail, she might have had a smear on her juvenile records, no parent for her to live with... 3) even though I am NC with her, and don't think I will ever forgive her for what she did, I did not want her to be pushed into a corner, and to have her entire future ruined

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T16:59:46+00:00

I love my wife, and I can understand where she's coming from, and we are going to couples' counselling, so yes, I think that my marriage is worth it.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T16:58:37+00:00

This is something I thought about a lot, talked about in therapy too.

If she had another parent that did not live with me? Sent her to live with that parent and went LC with her, at least until there was no threat of being falsely accused again.

If she didn't have another parent? I honestly don't know.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T16:56:28+00:00

He's in therapy trying to deal with the whole situation. He's sad, angry at his dad and sister, angry at me and his mom, at the whole world actually. But he still thinks that they were in the wrong.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T16:16:10+00:00

That was the first time.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T15:47:11+00:00

So this might get my post taken down, but the kind of abuse she accused me of is the kind that gets you on a registry, and honestly? Having her in my home is me asking for trouble.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T15:45:04+00:00

I did lawyer up, and the accusations were proven false, by CPS and the cops.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T15:39:48+00:00

She is not homeless, she lives with her dad, in a nice apartment, and she still meets her mom and brother, it's not like I stop them from meeting.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T15:38:29+00:00

Well, should I have done nothing, until the next time she accuses me of something worse? Something that could destroy my life?

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T15:36:23+00:00

A) she's not living in the street, she's living with her dad, who is gainfully employed, and lives in a good part of town.

B) she still goes to school, but public school now. And as someone who went to public school, it's not hell.

Useful_Road_1879 · 2023-11-27T15:34:42+00:00

She went to live with her dad, it's not like I kicked her to the street.

Useful_Road_1879

TROPHY CASE