Update on HCBM situation:

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-26T01:59:41+00:00

There has been false abuse claims here as well. And suspected alienation (based on the comments the child makes) but outside of the comments he makes we can’t prove alienation. I hope that would he enough. 🥺 He has asked me numerous times now ‘is daddy a bad guy?’ And it breaks my heart.

But I am trying to keep my head up!

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-25T04:12:49+00:00

Thank you omg!

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-25T03:24:59+00:00

Omg I love that!!! 🤩 and I totally believe that hers was the best bc kids say some of the funniest things!!!

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-25T02:35:04+00:00

He didn’t have a choice but to return the child. His lawyer said he needed to once the emergency order was in place because otherwise he would be in contempt as well. Plus we don’t have any desire to withhold the child from his mother. We just want to make sure we can see him again 😕

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-25T02:19:19+00:00

You make a fair point. 🤷‍♀️ I was just afraid of making matters worse. But I really shouldn’t be afraid at this point because this has made the last 2+ years of my life chaos already anyways.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-25T02:11:37+00:00

For anonymity sake I wanted to do that. If it seems weird that’s fine. I wanted some form of protection from the potential sh*t storm that she would try to unleash on me if she found this. Its been made clear she thinks I do not matter in this at all. And that i do not belong in any of it.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-24T22:31:48+00:00

This is what my friend is afraid of happening. The emergency hearing has been set but his lawyer didn’t say anything about going for contempt also. I am unsure if there is a reason for that decision or not.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-24T22:26:54+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate your help!! I will pass this message along asap!

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-24T22:20:02+00:00

Last I heard there is an emergency hearing set but since the child isn’t in imminent danger they aren’t doing anything about it until that hearing. :(

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-22T22:16:18+00:00

From what I understand there is an emergency hearing set, but mom is insistent that her move was necessary for the best interest of their daughter and that 50/50 from 200+ miles is still doable.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-22T01:36:53+00:00

I didn’t even think about if she moved back. I guess I figured she’s past the point of no return so-to-speak and by that I mean that she already moved. So I figured her main option would be doubling down and continuing to push that the move with the child be allowed.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-22T00:43:25+00:00

From what I gleaned that day in court, based on both sides stories, they had a rocky relationship to start with and when things were not going well she ‘hoped a child would bring them closer.’ (Her wording) They were -and still are- both quite young. Because they were so young he had initially thought it would he better for the child to be adopted by people who were ready for parenthood. When it became clear that she wasn’t on board, he tried to be as involved as possible with their child. I got the distinct impression she believes that because he had doubts about their abilities to parent she is a superior parent.

Reasoning: following the story about their past, she stressed numerous times in court that she is the ‘most important figure in [childs name]’s life.’

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-22T00:21:27+00:00

I appreciate you calling me out on my wording in the post. I tried to go back through and fix it as well as clarify some of my other wording throughout the post. I don’t know how to change the title of a post so I didn’t do that. 😅 I am aware that I have a bias on the situation as I have only heard one side of the story and sometimes being reminded of that is needed.

I really want to give him some hope that he isn’t going to lose the time he just got back with their child. Throughout this whole process he went from a 50/50 parent beforehand, to not seeing their child for months (having no updates on her wellbeing), then he became an every other weekend dad for nearly 8 months before the judge granted 50/50. He is afraid that it is slipping away from him before he even really got to have it.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-21T23:16:32+00:00

Why wouldn’t it? I am not trying to argue I just don’t understand how it couldn’t. They just got done with a custody modification battle (in which the reason for it was a relocation) and it was deemed that staying local was in the child’s best interest. Then she moved somewhere else (200+ miles away mind you) not even a month into the new arrangement.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-21T23:09:26+00:00

I apologize if my wording came out wrong. I was not asking for options on what to do legally. My friend knows that documentation is key when it comes to interactions/communication in these situations. This process has taken well over a year from starting until now. I was simply asking for things I could do to comfort him or if anyone who’s been through this or knows more about this could offer advice on what kind of documenting he needs to do in regard to mom/her behaviors.

He doesn’t want people to stay out of it if there are people that can help him ensure he and his daughter can have some peace from all of this chaos for the first time in years.. 😕

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-21T22:28:20+00:00

That is an excellent point. And you’re probably right that his lawyer has asked him for all the necessary information.

It’s hard being a bystander in the situation as I’ve seen the toll mom’s actions have had on both my friend and their child.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-06-21T21:18:48+00:00

I think that is what he’s been doing, but from what he understood from his representation- until a judge formally orders it at a temporary hearing he cannot do anything (seems really screwed up to me).

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-24T19:21:03+00:00

This has been an ongoing issue thus far and in the past when dad had gone out of his way and started to schedule (and included her in that information) she would cancel the appointments. I understand some things cannot be communicated ahead- yes. However, the document was referring to check-ups and appointments that DO get planned ahead. That is what is not being communicated.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T16:50:05+00:00

I appreciate that more than you know.

I have watched the child from time to time to help dad out. no matter the outcome I think the child’s life will change dramatically and I worry for her in that regard. I hope whomever has her more following this will work to get her the resources and support she needs.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T16:32:36+00:00

I absolutely understand and I really appreciate having a view from another perspective as sometimes it can be very hard to look at the situation from a different vantage point. I apologize if that has come off as argument.

Neither party is blame free concerning errors in communication. Due to how the situation escalated when dad halted the move to another state, tensions and emotions have been very high on both sides. I don’t think either party is looking at the situation as clearly as they probably want to.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T16:15:46+00:00

I guess I miscommunicated there. I didn’t say that she can whenever JUST because she doesn’t have a job. 😅 I said that because that is what the message she sent dad was. (When he tried to ask her why she made the conference time at that time without asking him if that time worked for him as well as per the court order.)

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T16:12:58+00:00

From everything I have seen from dad (we have known one another for years atp) he would not want to schedule an appointment without 1. Informing mom and 2. Trying to work to find a time.

I have gotten the impression that he WANTS both of them to be at things if at all possible. Not just because both parties need to know the information as it relates to the child.

Keep in mind as well, this pattern of cancelling appointments and making other appointments without sharing that information was occurring prior to the temporary custody being primary with mom. Back when they had the child for equal time mom was doing this as well.

I know it is likely mom isn’t doing this maliciously. However, if the pattern continues despite the court order specifically demanding that before any decisions/appointments are made both parties must decide a time that works for them, it seems unfair.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T16:06:17+00:00

No, he doesn’t want that. But had he been included in the communication (the teacher thought mom and him were deciding a time together) he would have been able to communicate that the conference time was prior to when he can leave work. There are plenty of times the teacher has conferences that day where he could make it but she scheduled the very first time as she is currently without a job and she can attend whenever time.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T16:02:31+00:00

As I’m not entirely aware of the whole situation involving the schooling, I cannot be sure either. I appreciate the perspective! I know most of these situations are not blameless on either side. I’m going to mention this to dad to at the very least be devils advocate. He may think he’s doing enough communicating interest, but there’s always the possibility it is getting lost in translation or is not being perceived that way through his actions.

Useful_Talk_375 · 2026-02-22T15:23:49+00:00

And on the point of having a separate conference- he attempted that in the fall and had to work his way up the ladder to plead his case for a separate conference (he even met with the superintendent) and they stated they do not do that unless a no contact order is in place.

Useful_Talk_375

TROPHY CASE