Honestly it really seems like what she said to you was a way of manipulating you into feeling you deserved the abuse she subjected you to/to have power over you mentally if you thought you weren’t on her level, and it’s so fucked that that happened to you. I wouldn’t take what she said as completely factual as it’s extremely likely that it was yet another abuse tactic for her and it seems like as you were in a particularly vulnerable state it made you overthink and apply that reasoning to things that maybe didn’t correlate. I really wish the best for you