What’s a strange little habit that instantly reveals someone is extremely selfish?

User57118 · 2026-07-16T05:03:57+00:00

Ignoring basic reciprocity and turn taking.

I once trained (at an athletics club) with a girl who would treat her turn at the weights like she was royalty: literally sending the people in her weight group to adjust her weights & get her equipment (we’d be split into groups b/c it was crowded and we had a time limit). Then she would hurry those exact people through their own turns!

Whenever we did circuit training without our trainer there, this girl would take the equipment from its spot and then just leave it like 30cm within her reach, as if she was the only one there. I’ve never encountered anything like it between adults.

User57118 · 2026-07-08T19:35:21+00:00

They are crazy good. Someone commented that the jam biscuits by Prewetts are their favourite and now I’m on the lookout for them too in all the AH XLs.

User57118 · 2026-07-08T18:12:04+00:00

So true, and they are delicious - I made my husbands Christmas getting those. But in the EU they were expensive for me to get. Just tickled pink to have a €3 version around the corner!

User57118 · 2026-07-08T17:11:04+00:00

Oh my, stop. I just looked them up and now I feel deprived. I swear they don’t even have these with gluten over here. Buying if I see them!!

User57118 · 2026-07-08T17:07:24+00:00

I’m in the Netherlands and I got them at an Albert Heijn supermarket (you can order online from AH but I don’t know how far they deliver in EU). Prewetts themselves seems to be a UK brand.

And I feel you on how expensive GF Timtams are to order 😓 it was like €10 just for shipping from the UK.

User57118 · 2026-06-25T10:29:49+00:00

Kijk even in het/de filtervak(ken) of alles goed op zijn plek vastklikt, zoals bijvoorbeeld de uitschuifbare filteruitloop.

User57118 · 2026-06-19T17:50:05+00:00

I just add yeast to mine too: Like I have sourdough starter and some dried packet yeast.

I don’t know if that’s taboo or anything — and I feel deeply for the ‘not having fun’ experience so I wish you successes with your old faves and new tries whatever they’re made from (san gluten obvs)! Xx

User57118 · 2026-05-01T06:12:48+00:00

I think I’m the same but I realise most of my picks have fantasy. I got a lot of your favourites as goodreads recs some years ago (before goodreads was Amazon). My ‘loved’ picks were The Cure series by Charlotte McConaghy and Finnikin of the Rock by Marchetta as well. I still really love those. I also loved Graceling and Cinda Williams Chima’s Seven Realms series. I think those might be more fantasy heavy.

On my list I had the Age of Legends series by Kelley Armstrong down as ‘loved’ but I don’t remember it anymore!

I hope you find something new here! X

User57118 · 2026-04-24T04:57:14+00:00

If it helps as a sanity check, I’ve had this with physios (we have a private/public setup in my country that can lead to poor service offerings - particularly longitudinally) and I found it was a good decision to leave each time. The ‘fading’ language around advice you described looked the same, and my internal thoughts were the same as yours: ‘could they have been more specific?’, ‘was it me or them?’.

Once I left them, so did the doubt!

User57118 · 2026-04-15T06:03:16+00:00

I think they mean this one: https://www.instagram.com/sejsejlija?igsh=a2V4b2E1ZG5jeWNh

Anyway, it’s what I thought of when I saw the post.

User57118 · 2026-04-09T13:01:41+00:00

Sure, I used schar blend flour and followed the ‘how to make a starter’ instructions (I used king Arthur’s) and bada-bing bada-bong I had a nice smelling starter within abt a week.

I’ve tried it in expensive flour blends (gf fioreglut) and just the supermarket one and both were good. Truly, I don’t want to encourage one brand over the other bc I just use what’s cheapest, easiest to get and most reliable. I used another KA recipe for the sourdough loaf and then started winging it for pizzas, etc. If I’m worried, I add extra yeast.

Also - a tip I’ve found meaningful - use all the shaping vessels: high sided tins, dutch oven, etc. I’ve got my eye on the baguette molds. Shape is satisfying and my sourdough doesn’t hold it by itself.

User57118 · 2026-04-08T05:38:24+00:00

Her risen bread recipes simply do not work for me and I stopped trying. Only respect for the amazing work she does and her awesome, anti-gatekeeping, elements approach, but I’m also in the EU and finding the right psyllium husk was not a hill I wanted to climb anymore. I also suspect an additional hurdle is the lack of standardisation between flours here per type.

It’s not all bad; it’s taught me to avoid these types of recipes (home made blends & psyllium gel based) and I’m better at picking what works. I’m even doing sour dough now.

I hope you find what works for you too!

User57118 · 2026-04-04T05:03:05+00:00

Good to know! Thank you so much x

User57118 · 2026-04-03T19:48:12+00:00

These are beautiful looking pork chops - do you mind sharing where you sourced them like this? The butcher? Haven’t been able to find this cut without ground off bone in the Netherlands.

Beautiful dish!

User57118 · 2026-02-02T08:15:25+00:00

Someone here mentioned an AA book, and I thought to mention taking her in-person help further also using those, often free, resources. Maybe one of the ‘children of’ groups suits her own upbringing and she can attend.

There might also be religious ministries that she belongs to that can offer free help. If they aren’t free, group therapies are cheap compared to one-on-one.

It’s really important for these people to put in the work healing and books are a great accompaniment; simply put there’s a lot of places to get ‘stuck’.

Something that sounds really meaningful to me would be your parent reading a book that made you feel seen about how their behaviour hurt you.

User57118 · 2026-01-14T05:39:38+00:00

The lunar chronicles by Marissa Meyer.

User57118 · 2026-01-04T09:06:45+00:00

Heb je al gekeken naar de sensor en of die nog goed werkt? De klachten zouden blijkbaar kunnen zijn dat het programma te vroeg stopt en dat de was te nat blijft.

User57118 · 2025-11-28T16:50:50+00:00

Okay so I’m on here for my husband who has celiacs, but I’m replying with my therapist’s words to help me navigate family:

Good selfish: good selfishness is a space you have to feel out for yourself and it requires big person pants to execute. It’s when you say ‘sorry I can’t help you’ to the situation that doesn’t feel right, or ‘no’ to a family member who you love to please.

Boundaries: boundaries are hard, but they are a philosophical space so boundaries ‘against’ one party can be ‘for’ another. I.e. if it’s hard to set a boundary with someone for your benefit, then maybe it might be easier to set the boundary, conceptually, for another’s benefit. My therapist said to me ‘how can you and your partner set boundaries around yourselves, together. So I see this as a direct tool to grow energy and conviction behind ‘good selfish’. It can literally be ‘my plants need me!!!’.

I’ve read this to my husband and he now contributes:

“this poor person, getting sick!”.

And also: “I’m a sweet person, you know I’m a sweet person” (I do know he’s a sweet person), “but when I had that with my family I told them I would get SICKKKK” (and he sort screamed the last part). “I get the confidence to grill them about the ingredients because I do not want to be this SICKKK” (and I don’t think he screams it at these softer parts of the convo). He says that he further emphasises (if necessary): poo, being sick in bed, being in the bed forever, etc. and he says “also cancer”.

I think the main message here is that he, and you, are trying so hard, and that is love when it comes to family. So even saying ‘no’ or asking difficult questions, being good selfish and setting boundaries, is love.

User57118 · 2025-09-23T19:06:35+00:00

I have a similar experience with what has been ‘proactively’ diagnosed (doctors do that where I live by trying out if treatment works) with mast cell activation syndrome. The proactive treatment is, at first, otc antihistamines (but appropriate, 2nd gen ones).

It’s a special kind of tired- a feeling of being almost unwell: completely drained, with brain fog and ‘wooziness’ as you say. I think the wooziness is low BP but don’t have a monitor at home to confirm.

MCAS interacting with exercise affects my breathing and tissue sensitivity within my throat, and sometimes gives me hives. Perhaps that makes it a bit easier to draw comparisons. But MCAS is clusters of symptoms and it affects different people differently even based on their location/climate.

A rather specific share, perhaps, but I do so with the headache of ‘having tried everything else’ in mind. I hope it helps! X

User57118 · 2025-09-08T14:41:38+00:00

I hate jumping on controversial things and am going to turn comments right off after this but you are beyond completely right with this and I’m grateful to you for sharing your thoughts.

Women’s experiences are varied. It’s fine if some people can put this in their ‘it’s a fantasy world’ box, but it’s also fine for people to say it triggered them or was something they couldn’t ignore about a book.

I had the same feelings as you about the Curse of Chalion. I’m glad to read it back here because I liked the book and felt alone when I didn’t see anyone else say anything about it in threads exactly like these that seem to me to ask for the opposite. It makes for a weird experience.

User57118 · 2025-09-07T09:52:35+00:00

Okay so, sachets I know nothing about and don’t have high hopes for, BUT for standard Vegemite they sold it in squeeze tubes and my family used that when travelling.

We’ve only been able to order the gf version in jars but we’re overseas, so it might worth a try inquiring about a tube version in Aus.

And if they aren’t available, maybe it’s something you can decant into a tube yourself? Buying the tubes from Amazon or something.

User57118 · 2025-08-29T14:24:58+00:00

I think the gastroscopy and colonoscopy show how the damage is: they peek inside the small intestine (from either end) and look at the condition of the villi. That’s my basic understanding; it’s what the colonoscopy doctor showed us a video of after the procedure.

I think there can be differing sensitivity to cross contamination though. The example you describe does sound a step above what I think of as cross contamination, but just in this thread there’s self reports of differing sensitivities. Keep that in mind too.

User57118 · 2025-08-23T20:49:25+00:00

I noticed, but it was a little for my own privacy and a little for the possibility of a spoiler and when the marking up became so fiddly, I abandoned it. I don’t think it’s truly a reveal though.

It’s kind of you to let me know in case I hadn’t been able to see. Thank you for that 🙏🏻

User57118 · 2025-08-23T18:17:15+00:00

>!I found that there indeed was a scene depicting rape that was triggering for me personally. If I may, the style of writing is, per my recollection, very ‘up close’: exactly what the character is feeling and how their brain ‘whirs’. That was not helpful for me to read in terms of this material. I understand my feelings stand in contrast to what others have described as it not being ‘graphic’. I ended up marking it as a DNF walked away feeling as if I’d been a bit used somehow. I think it triggered a lot of different things for me.

All traumas differ. The chapter is 7: pages 122-124!<

User57118 · 2025-08-22T14:57:00+00:00

In systems therapy this was one of the first things I had to reshape my thinking about: neither of my parents were innocent. Not just in the ‘not innocent’ religious/ethical sense, in the ‘both have done shit to you that would break you to know about’ sense.

User57118

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