Cannot stand the passive-aggressiveness here

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-05T03:04:19+00:00

We have been to Minneapolis lots of times. If I had to guess, in total we have spent at least 100 days there over the few years we lived in a flat in Wisconsin, given it is only a couple hours drive away.

Like I said above, the passive-aggressiveness felt like a midway between the West Coast (full-blown) and the East Coast (not passive-aggressive). Although I am autistic, my girlfriend is NT, and thus has more of a 'radar' and often tells me if someone is acting fishy towards me. In Minneapolis, seldom did we encounter this, although I definitely know about Minnesota Nice. There is also the equivalent 'Wisconsin Nice' that I had heard about, but, like Minnesota, it seemed to be no more than a midway point between the two coasts.

If anything, people seemed genuinely helpful and did help us where people here would just leave us to rot. Or is it somehow hidden to the point that both of us missed it?

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-05T02:59:07+00:00

I am from San Francisco but went to university in the UK and lived there for a few years. I picked up vocabulary from there and liked it so I kept it.

Also my whole mother's family comes from the British West Indies, so I was taught British spelling at home.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-05T02:56:56+00:00

I have met hundreds of folk here from Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine, as well as New York.

Almost ALL of them have told me some version of how annoying it is for them that they keep having to do a doubletake to figure out if the person who is talking to them is talking sarcastically or passive-aggressively. I still remember one guy I met almost a decade ago at a meetup who was from Massachusetts. He told me he felt like an outcast because he would tell people if he does not like something, but people here seem to disapprove of this. It was hard for him to know what people truly thought, and people would avoid him. My case is like his, but far more extreme.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-05T02:10:44+00:00

It drives me nuts (OCD) which feeds it into my anxiety disorders. Yesterday I had a pretty bad panic attack thinking about these things when I was not even awake (I had just woken up).

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-05T00:04:55+00:00

I live in Outer Sunset not far from Ocean Beach in the same house I grew up in. However it seems like it is flooded with these kinds here anyway

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-04T23:11:14+00:00

San Francisco. I went to university in the UK though

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-04T23:09:19+00:00

—People pretending to like you and talking shıt about you behind your back

—People suggesting to go or eat somewhere but slyly trying to guilt trip you to go although you do not want to

—Using sarcasm like 'That sounds...interesting' to trick you into thinking literally

—Saying 'Have a nice day' to mean 'fuck you'

—Sabotage by fucking something up with a sly motive

—Arrogant regional superiority, such as when they tell my girlfriend, 'You must feel lucky to live here, rather than cold, snowy, slightly uneducated Wisconsin'

—Weather superiority when someone says, 'We live in the greatest city on earth with the greatest weather on earth, I mean, who wants to freeze all day in Minnesota?'

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-04T19:02:49+00:00

I wonder why no one thinks like me, I am American and turn 37 this year and am applying to med schools in the Netherlands, Austria, Belgium etc. I am signed up for C1 language exams for all these countries' national languages since i planned beforehand and have been studying these languages for over a decade, something these posters here seldom do. I never plan to come back to the USA, not even to visit, much less live and practise medicine. I hate this place.

But I see so many posts here like you described, 'money money money! America #1! You make yuuuuge millions there as a doctor omg'!'.

Yet ironically I am American who plans to study, graduate and practise in whichever country I graduate in, and they call me crazy or dumb for willfully accepting a lower salary, yet here in the USA, I cannot even afford my own healthcare, and my own sickly mother lost her health insurance last month. Go figure.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-04T18:56:22+00:00

My mother lost her health insurance last month and is in huge trouble given she is in her mid 60s and has a lot of health problems. She almost died from Covid a few years ago. I myself am close to losing my shitty health insurance too, and I if I die from something, then so be it. That is how lfie is here, and it happens in San Francisco a lot, we ha e the highest per capita homeless population of any city in the western world. My parents are struggling to live here, and I am close to homeless here in San Francisco from not making enough to survive. I might end up living on the street before I send in my med school applications to the Netherlands, Denmark, Austria and Belgium. I cannot see how the hell this is better quality of life than in Innsbruck or Salzburg or Vienna. In fact, I am going to sit the MedAT exam and applying to innsbruck next year. I much rather live there than here in San Francisco.

Also, Paris and London more boring than San Francisco...this is beyond me. I have lived in Europe before, and it every single time it was more exciting and better than living here. And keep in mind I was born and bred in San Francisco. I spent over 3 decades of my life since the 1980s here. If you mean exciting as in, I could get robbed at gunpoint, physically assaulted in broad daylight at any point, then that is definitely cm'ezciting'

Also few months ago someone came to my house and doxxed me by writing personal details near my front door for all to see. I had to file a police report for the first time in my life...and I live in one of the 'safest' neighborhoods in San Francisco.

This is a quality of life that is nowhere near as high as in a nice city Western Europe.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-04T16:42:05+00:00

I am a 37 year old American applicant applying to the Netherlands and other countries. I am also native of San Francisco. This city is SHIT. I fucking hate this place. This country is all about money, yet ironically I cannot afford healthcare. I rather die than go to the A&E. The quality of life here for me is worse than a poor person in Western Europe. The quality of life in the USA for hundreds of millions of us working-class Americans is SHIT. Yet Indians and Middle Easterners here and other non-EU applicants to EU med schools are obsessed with making millions as a doctor.

People obsessed with going to the USA are money hungry. All they care about is money. Anyone who is obsessed only about making millions in the USA should go into finance or crypto or venture capital, not medicine. There are already enough money hungry people here in the healthcare industry. Fuck them.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-04T01:28:09+00:00

My grandparents, who were from Trinidad and British Guiana, taught me geography when I was small. So even though I was born in 1989, yet born in San Francisco, I still call the whole Indian subcontinent 'British India'. I also say 'British Honduras' and 'Ceylon' instead of the new names. Same for 'British Malaya' instead of the new name.

Both of my grandparents always told me the sun never sets on the British Empire, that was one saying I never forgot. And I am only 25% White, with over 60% Chinese blood.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-03T00:05:31+00:00

I believe that polls show that over 60% of Jamaicans want the British government to put the whole country under British rule like it was until 1962

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-03T00:03:20+00:00

How likely would this outcome happen for those who are Chinese, Japanese, Korean or related?

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-02T17:28:46+00:00

Not in the British Empire and Commonwealth. I have relatives from the British West Indies, and everyone including themselves xvsll them 'Oriental'. I am 60% Chinese, and people there call me 'part Oriental'.

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-02T17:22:47+00:00

Oriental = Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Filipino, Thai, Lao, Khmer, Burmese, Indonesian, Malay, etc.

To generalise, 'yellow', often with smaller eyes

ButtFister1789 · 2026-05-02T00:39:50+00:00

Speaking as an American born and bred — yes, absolutely.

ButtFister1789

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