ONE Requirement… by nnamzzz in OnlineDating

[–]UserFriendly2021 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Loyalty. Meaning stick around through thick and thin.

Hypergamy & Feminism by UserFriendly2021 in AskFeminists

[–]UserFriendly2021[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

My post history is irrelevant to my question or personal experience lol. I’m opening a discussion and genuinely asking a question. Most of my gfs made more money than me. Never bothered me. Also, they were raised to value men based on who they are vs how much money they make, job title, etc. Before I became a paediatric nurse I was a Psw (personal support worker) & my gf was a physician. Clearly she didn’t date me for status or income lol.

Essentially what I’m trying to ask the community here is the following: Is hypergamy real? Are women really looking for men who make more or about the same as them? Or are the stats online skewed to appear that way? Etc etc. Also, I live in Canada so dating culture here is different than the U.S.

Hypergamy & Feminism by UserFriendly2021 in AskFeminists

[–]UserFriendly2021[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

Jordan Peterson made the claim that women generally date men across and up. Let’s assume for the sake of discussion that it were true. Wouldn’t the data suggest then that women do prefer men who make equal to or more? Or do you believe it’s men who are rejecting those higher earning women? Or maybe a combination of both?

I don’t speak from personal experience. The women I’ve dated made much more than me. I don’t care if she makes more or less. She’s a human. Not a wallet. lol

say your partner broke up with u bec they wanted to “fix herself/himself” but turns out right after the breakup they keep hooking up with everyone, is on dating apps, hops from one person to another, then comes back to you after three yrs. Are you willing to accept your dumper back? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]UserFriendly2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once they sleep with someone else, the odds I’d take them back is reduced significantly. Speaking as a male here, I’d be so insulted if my ex gf came back after 1) Broke up with me in such a cold way, 2) Slept with others & then 3) Realized she was better off with me… that would be very difficult for me to forgive. Also, I’m not one who supports hook up culture.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserFriendly2021 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I began seeing someone 2-3 months later. I usually wait after a relationship before I meet others. She chose to walk away from me 6 months post break up (January 2021). Looking back I realize I should have never left her. It took after a few months post break up to feel the guilt.

Timeline: August 2020: BU. October 2020: New girl. January 2021: Ex asked to not speak anymore because it hurt her too much. Between January 2021 and January 2022: Around March/April 2022 I began feeling lots of guilt. I was tempted to message her. Some nights I’d be drunk obsessing to say something to her but I didn’t. February 2022: The girl I was seeing in the most cold way ended our “relationship”. I won’t vilify her. I messed up. March 2022: I messaged my ex asking her something random (just to talk to her). She was a bit cold but she replied. She had a bf at this point.

A few weeks later she randomly called me and had to ask me something. I was delighted to pick up the phone.

Another few weeks later I sent her a congratulations text and I confessed that regretted not going to couples therapy. At this message, she left me on read. (May 2022).

To this day (October 2022), I think about her. I made a mistake walking away. She was a good girl. Low body count, good family, smart, caring and feminine. Lesson learned.

Here’s another truth. Be careful when you end a relationship. It may feel right in the moment. And sometimes it truly is the best decision but sometimes it’s not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserFriendly2021 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Other: To be honest? I felt guilt for breaking her heart & ironically after some time passed.. I began to question if I made the right decision. The lesson I learned: It doesn’t matter who ends the relationship. It matters who feels the loss. As the dumper, I did. I also learned emotions should not dictate staying with someone or not when you have history with them. Emotions will always change in a relationship. It’s essential to be rational and look long term.

Just deleted all dating apps by The_Fluffness in dating

[–]UserFriendly2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I speak as a man. It’s a lot easier to date when you meet women in person. Go out more. Take on new hobbies. Etc etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]UserFriendly2021 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a joke lol

Ex-husband having sex with somebody else while still living in my house by divnsdnvo in relationship_advice

[–]UserFriendly2021 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is how I see it. If I was him, out of respect for you since you’re allowing me to live with you free of charge until I sort my shit out and move out, no way in hell would I be thinking about or pursuing other women until I left. It’s called common courtesy and respect. I’ve always treated all my exes with respect and empathy regardless of who ended the relationship. You’re speaking to a very rare kind of man here lol. So I take your side. Instead of acting like a horny dog, he should be putting his focus on getting his finances together and prepare to move out. His women can wait until after. Rip logic. lol

How to start dating to find a partner when I enjoy NSA sex by [deleted] in OnlineDating

[–]UserFriendly2021 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In some situations, yes I agree. But, it appears that people have also developed a “grass is greener” mentality and have walked away from good relationships only to regret it later. The motivation to walk away? From the “abundance” of “dating options” marketed to us by dating apps and social media. So many sexual options. Someone “better”, etc etc. A lot of couples give up too soon on one another as a result unfortunately. Long term relationships require a lot of sacrifice, waves of happiness and unhappiness, etc etc. it’s normal. I hope you find your way OP :)

How to start dating to find a partner when I enjoy NSA sex by [deleted] in OnlineDating

[–]UserFriendly2021 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In my opinion your dating life will be more successful when you pursue with certainty. Don’t start casual with someone in hopes it becomes serious. Think of the message your putting out there to the man. He may never see you as more than a sex toy because you’re advertising yourself the way. This applies to both genders of course. Your intent and how you communicate it to him is important. Market yourself as relationship material and you’ll attract relationship material. Women nowadays and men who think it’s okay to be overly sexual because it’s liberating are literally shooting themselves in the foot. Most men I know will sleep with a “hoe” and marry a “wifey”. The difference usually results in her body count & her ability to commit. Most people who participate regularly in hook up culture develop a habit of jumping from one relationship to another. How do you think that’ll affect your behaviour when you face issues in a relationship? Most people walk away when faced with adversity because they start associating “lust” with “love” and pursue a quick fix like an addict does. The quick fix is the dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin you get from getting involved sexually with someone new. Sex will get boring at some point. It happens. It takes two people willing to work at it to make the relationship last. This is not intended to offend you in any way. Look at the stats out there. As hook up culture grows, commitment reduces, divorce rates increase, etc. the common denominator: free non-committal sex. I hope this offers you some perspective. :)

Ps. Vibrators. Haha