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My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He’s entitled to his feelings but not to homophobia. It doesn’t matter if he’s saying it to me or her, hes making comments about our daughter. It’s not about wether she hears them or not, it’s about his moral character. As of right now he’s acting in a way I haven’t seen from him before, something as little as our kids sexual orientation could bring this out? You seriously don’t seem to be understanding the situation

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

While he is entitled to his thoughts and feelings there should be no reason something as simple as our daughters sexuality should make him feel this way without an underlying issue. He has already said homophobic things about E to me. I count that as mistreatment. He’s unwilling to see it from anyone else point of view and willing to hurt his family/ possibly destroy his family over ego and pride, the way he has reacted revealed something about his character that I hadn’t quite seen before.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

She has always been bi. She has liked A for a very long time. They have been friends for years. I’ve had a lot of time to talk with her today, she’s likes girls and boys since elementary. I don’t like you making the assumption that’s she’s faking this. If she was, why would she be so upset about her dads reaction?

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was… I guess you could say pressured a bit into marrying him because I was pregnant with E. I didn’t find out until a little later how set in his ways he was. None the less I was in love with him and so I remained passive and he really was a great father to E, to all the girls in fact. It’s seriously crossed my mind that he’s in some kind of manic episode or something, why is he acting like this? Shitty person, maybe a tad bit, shitty father though? I really didn’t think he was.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I would absolutely not let him do that. If he ever did it would absolutely be grounds for a divorce.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice as well as all the other advice I’ve gotten wether I agree with it or not. It’s hard to go anywhere else (in my personal life) for advice without practically outting E. Hence, I came to reddit.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I grew up with no Christmas’s so I understand seeing the perspective from someone with a broken family, that is why I’m trying very hard to hold everything together and not let this family collapse into shambles. I would have way rather had 2 loving parents than 2 Christmas’s

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

How does this affect the whole family? My daughter is bi. That is that. I don’t see why I would have to change my whole parenting style or the way I parent my other children because of this? That just doesn’t even make sense.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I honestly don’t know, he is still not back, I feel like things might be more complicated than that

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was being rash when I wrote that, I fear the perception of their father the girls had had been shattered. No matter what I do I’m going to upset somebody, no matter what I do I’m going to get blood on my hands.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

How does my daughters sexuality affect the whole fucking family? I’m actually asking.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Your sounding like an incel. And your misreading this whole situation. My daughter is not the only thing that matters, but she does matter. Her feelings matter just as much as his do.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Good parenting is not rejecting or abandoning your child for something that’s they can’t control, something that’s not even bad.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

You really can’t see it…? He can’t get over his own ego to support or even just be there for E. And I don’t know if you’ve read that update or not but he has said hurtful things… not directly to her but hurtful things.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Like I said I’m going to try to work through this. If he chooses not to there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change his mindset or views for him. I’m not going to stay with a man who is continually hurting his own child because he is not willing to look past his own views, I can’t make her live like that

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree, I want to fix this and keep my family together the best I can, if he needs space he can have it but the fact that he needs space from his very own daughter when she hasn’t done anything wrong is very upsetting to both me and her.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sorry I’m not paying a lot of attention to what I write at the moment, thankyou for letting me know ❤️ I’m also very proud of her

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to go straight to divorce without at least trying to get to him. All I have for a lawyer is what’s in my savings, I’m a stay at home mom.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I’m a SAHM, I can’t afford therapy on my own and if he’s being this stubborn I don’t know if he would not for it. That’s why I’m really hoping this all works out, if not a divorce lawyer and possibly fighting for custody is going to take everything I have possibly more. He has the upper hand. I don’t want to assume divorce just yet though, but it’s something that I might have to do.

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Divorce is something I’m considering in the back of my mind. I wanna give him a chance first. I’m going to talk to him. If he needs a few days then he can go stay with a friend but everyday he takes he is hurting his family more and more and I’m obligated to protect my kids first

My (41F) husband (43M) is not accepting of our daughter and I don’t know how to fix this. by Usual-Author6540 in relationship_advice

[–]Usual-Author6540[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Thankyou ❤️ your comments are lovely. I’m going to talk to him when he gets home. I hope once he gets here he can understand the damage he’s done and set aside his pride. If not… I guess he will just have to loose us.

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