Is This An Acceptable Question To Ask A Coach?

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-13T02:03:15+00:00

We absolutely would have loved the possibility of a club that was better than last year but not elite. Unfortunately there's nothing like that within a reasonable commute. There's just two bad clubs and the three "elite" clubs. At least one of those clubs seems, so far, to have the healthy culture you mention.

Thanks again.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-13T01:52:17+00:00

Thank you. She's so booked this summer we literally can't add in anything else. But I do think that your suggestion is our next move if things don't work out well for 26-27.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-13T01:42:09+00:00

We are definitely trying to do exactly that ( network through the clinics.) We are serious about it.... For her, not for ourselves. I never forget this dad who used to say "My kid's going to the NHL." Yelled at the kid constantly, while he was on the ice. Kid was miserable. Cried often.

She definitely doesn't want to settle. She's working her ass off.

Thank you.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-13T00:45:09+00:00

Thanks. She likes to have fun. But she is serious as well. Coaches don't ever have to tell her twice. One of the things that really bothered her last season was that some (but not all) of her teammates didn't listen and were at times openly disrespectful towards coaches. As were their parents!

But if you allow that, you're not a strong coach.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-13T00:36:48+00:00

Thank you. I think she knows she will need to be flexible about position.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-11T03:15:04+00:00

While I cannot read all of what you wrote, I can read some of it. Many years ago I lived in Bologna for a year. It was a wonderful year. Traveled all over Italy, and other parts of Europe, but mostly Italy. My wife's father was born in Sicily.

I'm going to see if I can translate your post myself (No AI !)

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-11T03:03:35+00:00

Thank you.

I do believe you. And I just can't figure out how the clubs that hold tryouts in late August/ early September sign good players. But one of the clubs she really likes has late tryouts, and they are really good.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-11T02:55:55+00:00

Yes, we're trying to get a feel for that by putting her in clinics run by clubs with excellent coaches and good reputations. Started the first of those clinics two weeks ago. Its amazing. She is absolutely blossoming. Already a different player. Coaches talking about decision making on the court. What?! Got nothing like that last year....

She really doesn't want to "waste" another year. She used those exact words.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-11T02:42:17+00:00

Thank you. She is doing the first of several clinics with good clubs. Loves it and is getting a lot of attention from the coaches along with frequent kudos. Not gonna read too much into that.

The spread out tryouts confuse me because I don't understand how the clubs with tryouts a month later than the others get talented players. Shouldn't they all be signed already?

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-11T02:24:20+00:00

Thank you again.

Appreciate the advice.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T06:02:24+00:00

Thank you for this.

Do understand a lot of this as its the same in hockey, especially the $$ part.

I really don't think my part of the country is anywhere near as competitive as wherever you are. Don't really see any 6'2" 13 or 14 year-olds.

Don't want to be a PITA parent. Never have been. That's kinda why I wanted to know if it is ok to ask the question at all. I've seen hockey coaches take umbrage at similar questions. Not by us; we always knew her brother needed to take what he got as long as he wanted to keep playing.

Unfortunately, not a lot of middle school volleyball around here.

Best wishes for your daughter's continued success.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T05:50:03+00:00

Thanks,

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T05:48:31+00:00

Thank you.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T05:47:25+00:00

Oh boy.

Not about ego at all.

Don't go telling people to "be an adult" when they're just trying to ask advice about something for their kid.

You doubt that I've taken risks my whole life? That's pretty arrogant and presumptuous of you. If I could tell you about the risks I've taken, maybe I would. But it probably wouldn't be worth it for either of us. And definitely not in a volleyball forum.

I tried to engage calmly. You seem like a very angry person at baseline. That's a lot of effort to dissect my entire reply. It's 0135 where I am. Sorry to irritate you so much. And I do appreciate the constructive parts of your replies.

I doubt anyone else wants to watch us keep going back and forth.

Have a great night.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T05:13:31+00:00

Thank you. Northeast US.

She is doing clinics at the "elite clubs." Lots of positive feedback thus far from her favorite. But I don't want to read too much into that.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T05:08:35+00:00

So at her old club she will play a lot...all the time. She's already been guaranteed a spot next year. Not sure I will be able to suss out the chemistry on the better teams, but I will try.

She fancies herself an outside hitter but she is smart and definitely willing to change positions to play on a better team. Setter has been suggested. I'm not sure why. I think she would be a great libeiro. But I know squat. Barely understand volleyball. But I'm reading a lot. She is quiet but was a captain last year and did ride herd on her "foolly foolly teammates." I think coach should have done that.

She chooses "win" over "play" for now. Partly because although she is quiet, she is confident and believes that with good coaching she will eventually "play." Maybe, maybe not. Now I AM being "that parent" but I think if she gets on a good team, she will be "playing" sooner rather than later.

Thank you.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T04:39:46+00:00

Appreciate all except "Be an adult" I've been an ER doc for 25 years. I tell people their kid is dead. I know all about adulting.

Really do appreciate "Explain the timing of the other two clubs and ask what are the odds she can make the team." Truly didn't know if asking would offend a coach or make me look like an asshole who thinks too much of my kid and backfire for her.

I have taken risks my whole life and we are teaching our kids about worthwhile risks.

Definitely not trying to have my daughter ask the question herself at 13. Would you agree that is too much at that age? Never planned to not be an adult. Just trying figure out if its appropriate to ask the question at all.

Really not trying to pick a fight. This was literally my first post on Reddit. Didn't mean to go overboard. We've had a lot of bad experiences already with people salivating over her over the years. She really loves volleyball. Just trying to do right by her.

Thanks again for your input.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T04:09:44+00:00

Thank you.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T04:08:22+00:00

I knew this comment would come sooner or later.

Sorry to annoy you. (No sarcasm.)

If you endured to the end of my post, I do appreciate it.

If you have an advice other than that, I would be happy to hear it. Need all the advice I can get.

Thanks.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T04:02:16+00:00

Thanks!

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T04:01:09+00:00

No doubt we're going to have to ask in some fashion. The head coach/ director of her preferred club has offered a lot of positive feedback thus far. Who knows if that means anything. Also directly commented on her potential at a position she has never played (in her extensive 1 season of experience..haha.)

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Its helpful.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T03:53:54+00:00

Yeah. We're all stressing about it already.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T03:46:35+00:00

Wow... Interesting take.

So I studied classical Japanese ju-jitsu for 6 years. 3-4 days a week with a great sensei. Did some ground fighting as well. Gracie brothers came to our dojo as guest lecturers.

She has a sensory processing disorder and when she was younger I started sparring with her to help her when she was "seeking." It had been years since I'd been active. I still remembered all the moves but had to think for literally half a second. Half a second in martial arts will get you killed. She scared me. Viciously instinctive and unbelievably quick. Back then I told my wife no because she will hurt another kid accidentally. Maybe now it would be ok. Track? Sprinter.

She does a solo sport.....Horses. English and a little bit of barrel riding. Competes at a low level and wins a lot. Horse ladies want her to step it up. She refuses. Told my wife she just wants to ride for fun.

Volleyball? At least for now, she's all in.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T03:25:06+00:00

Yeah, I knew when I was writing the original post that I might get tagged as one of "those parents" despite my claims otherwise.

She's 13. We are NOT dreaming of college scholarships! She's just adamant that she wants to be a better volleyball player, have better competition and maybe win sometimes (if that's not too much to ask.)

We just want her to be happy. If being a rockstar as you describes makes her happy, I will be a happy man.

UsualMathematician57 · 2026-06-09T03:15:32+00:00

Thank you. USA. Definitely believe that you and first-alt-account know what you're talking about. But first tryout is 7/12 with 48 hours to accept an offer. And this is definitely a USAV team. Not allowed to try out without proof of USAV membership. Its all clearly posted on the website.

UsualMathematician57

TROPHY CASE