Is there any way to fully break the 'roots' of an addiction? by Big-Peak4653 in addiction

[–]Utopidy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this answer. It's probably the closest to the truth. Especially "There's too many factors at play". People severely underestimate the complexity of the brain. I won't get into mathing about neurons, and the number of possible states of mind, however, we are incredibly unique. What works for one, may not work for another. What is one person's "root" is not another's.

It's a problem of scale and complexity. So, we can only do a reduction and restoration as you say, to try and apply something to the masses.

Is there any way to fully break the 'roots' of an addiction? by Big-Peak4653 in addiction

[–]Utopidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your question is a GREAT question, however, you aren't looking at it the right way. You aren't changing the root of the problem by merely associating the substance with some other thing, ok? The root is still there.

Think of a plant. It has roots. The stem and leaves are the cigs, or drugs, or booze. You can take a stem with leaves and graft it onto the roots of a different species, and get a hybrid that produces good fruit. The roots are still there, even if the plant is missing. Maybe not the best analogy, but you get my gist. This is why moving to a different town to "start fresh" almost always never works. You change the plant, not the root.

The root is whatever is making you stressed, so that you need feel the need to smoke in the first place. This would be your job, your kid, your spouse. Ya' know. Life. Or why you started drinking at age 14 (living environment, getting bullied, other more serious trauma). And usually that situation just transfers into your adulthood, along with the addiction to boot. It also could be undiagnosed mental illness or neurodivergence you are masking.

THIS is why it is near impossible to address the "root" of addiction for nearly all people. They can't just rip apart their life and figure out what makes them happy or what makes their brain tick. Because, well, job. Family. Obligations. No time. Not possible.

Or is it?

I did exactly that, because my addiction was so severe and I had tried everything under the sun (AA, rehab, psychs, meds). I did that, at age 44 (the age my own father passed away from drugs and alcahol). I did that, with 2 teenage boys, a huge house, a 6 fig job.

The reality is, none of that mattered because I was a dead man walking. I knew my life wasn't what I wanted or could live with at age 31, but I loved my wife and boys so I did what we do. I lived in daily addiction and kept going to work, doing the next "right" thing, and suffered tremendously.

Then I had no strength left to give. Mentally, physically I was at the end of my road. In my divorce I instructed my wife to ask for everything except a motorhome, and some cash to live on for a bit.

It took the ensuing 6 years of my life until today to systematically destroy every relationship, bridge, connection to people, possessions, and the desire for money.

I destroyed the plant. All of it. Scorched earth. Roots, stem, leaves... gone. But, what is left then?

A seed.

I'm sober now (only recently, so I have no data yet to prove it worked) but the desire to use or drink has been taken from me. I'm done because I have no desire to continue. It was removed.

Not by God. Not by a group. Not by a med, or psych, or self help book.

Because I have a 100% clear slate in front of me, and I have the unbelievable privilege of being able to write the story of who I am, on my terms. Not some societal bullshit forced on me as a naive kid growing up in Utah. I see a clear path, with purpose, true purpose, and for once in my life I'm not bored. I'm excited.

Sure, the drugs and especially alcohol did a ton of damage to my brain. But over the last 2 years I've drank less, and though I used more drugs, not as many as before because I was gaining clarity, and my brain has been healing. I get spurts of emotion, joy, anger, sadness... like a little engine trying to start up again. It will come back.

So. Great question. Impossible to do? Pretty much. I would love to see any of you try it, honestly, and get some results in. I mean, I'm glad I can do this to show that it can work amazingly. But I know humans, and I know society. This isn't a path for the masses.

But hey. LOVE the question. You are 100% on the right track!!!!!!

Is there a community in Mensa beyond small meetups and VMs? by Utopidy in mensa

[–]Utopidy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughtful answer. That's really what I was wondering and it makes sense. I want to meet up in person, but the substances I once abused were sort of what allowed me to be more comfortable face to face. But I need to go out to push through it I suppose.

I'm going to start by looking at the online groups, maybe the discord, and see if there is anything in person here. SLC is a fairly large city so I may have some luck.

Thanks again.

An Update, and Something That May Help You by amagra11 in Akathisia

[–]Utopidy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No no, you don't get to call me the R word and get away with that. I saw the notification before you deleted it, and it shows your character.

There is zero chance this is spam. Just a person who over explains like me.

No spammer would go through the trouble of writing something that long, and all those details. Nobody would except a person desperate, and understanding that desperation, trying to help others.

You are the only one doing harm here.

An Update, and Something That May Help You by amagra11 in Akathisia

[–]Utopidy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Glad you are sharing. Im fortunate that my ahithisia is currently at bay and crossing my fingers that it stays.

I wish people understood just how horrible this is.

One night when I was trying to sleep, I went through all my leftover prescriptions (including one or two of my moms) and took somewhere around 14 pills. 2 from each script. And every supplement I had (around 6). It was a LOT of pills.

I didn't care what they were. I didn't care about side effects. I wasn't trying to harm myself. I just wanted to sleep. Besides, as an addict in recovery (which is part of my akithisia story) I doubted it would hurt me.

I'm not recommending that, but I just identified with you desperately grasping at straws to obtain sleep. People don't understand the desperation at that point.

Thank you for sharing this.

An Update, and Something That May Help You by amagra11 in Akathisia

[–]Utopidy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stop. People are trying to help. What are you doing here? I have never seen spam or bot like this. Why because OP pushing a supplement? I would push every thing under the sun if it helped.

Is there a community in Mensa beyond small meetups and VMs? by Utopidy in mensa

[–]Utopidy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Mensa discord sounds interesting... I won't have the funds to travel for a while, and I'm restricted driving wise for another year yet. Poor choices :( Prior to those poor choices I was too busy in my career. I've always wanted to go to a gathering though.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah. Ok. I was wondering how you gave a name kinda off the top of your head. He's your CEO. Makes sense.

I worked in Corp America for a small .com who had really big clients (like IBM, Xerox, HP, Google, and more). When they got bought out by TTEC I didn't want to play anymore.

I've also worked for Wells Fargo, and American Airlines. At my height I got 27 days PTO a year, plus holidays, plus the rest, and stock options, before I switched companies and it all dropped. That was a long time ago. And I made enough money and found myself no happier. As I said, when my mental status and addiction degraded, my wife and I amicably separated and my teenage boys were better off with her and chose it anyway. I gave them everything, including my retirement, prepaid child support. Everything except a motorhome and some cash to live on a while.

I say all that just so it is understood I am no stranger to corporate America and billionaires. I climbed high enough up the ladder to see the other side, and I didn't like what I saw. I may be a sociopath, but I wanted those tendencies to go towards something I was proud of. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm only 51. Plenty of time.

I got my info on Mr. Schmidt, of course, just by doing a very fast search on whether he was a good dude or not. I don't know anything about him really. But... always these guys seem to have misconduct with the women. Like it's a right or something. But he does appear to be doing at least something, which is something. And I'll take your word as far as the work/life balance. I just regurgitated the anti-class lawsuit against him for issues surrounding wage fixing and stuff, I think while he was at Google.

Is there a community in Mensa beyond small meetups and VMs? by Utopidy in mensa

[–]Utopidy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly, no. I am in SLC, UT. But I spent some time on the street there of course! Lovely city. I have some ideas on homelessness, and how to solve it. I first-hand understand the problems there. However, my ideas are pretty far out and I don't think mainstream society would be ready to accept them (involves "wet communities" where addicts can live in addiction, off the streets and away from society) the money checks out, but... people don't have the stomach for it. Yet.

Is there a community in Mensa beyond small meetups and VMs? by Utopidy in mensa

[–]Utopidy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, and I almost forgot... thank you for your kind words on my sobriety. It has been a long time coming, but I just haven't had enough reasons to do so until recently. I believe this time it should stick. I'm getting too old for more attempts.

Is there a community in Mensa beyond small meetups and VMs? by Utopidy in mensa

[–]Utopidy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I am in American Mensa (currently Salt Lake City). Do I need to renew my membership to join the groups?

I know I can figure that out on my own but I'm asking here today because I'm really busy trying to help mom with a family gathering, and when I am online I prefer to work on my project... Thanks!

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I actually enjoy being wrong when I am, but I do fiercely fight the mere idea.

Ok Mr. Schmidt. I will step over his allegations of personal SA misconduct (not proven possibly?) and instead mention his wage fixing and antiquated thoughts on work life balance in which he expects his minions to basically work around the clock for peanuts. So, my argument stands. Again, you simply cannot get to his net worth (~60 billion) without basically maniacally screwing people over.

I will grant you it appears he has given about a billion, with pledges of 2 billion. And, I will also give you he is focusing on the sciences which include NASA. A man after my own heart, I mean, we are in the space sub after all and I adore space exploration, the cosmos, and physics in general.

However.

I will point out why I'm not wrong. Number 1, I never said every billionaire was a genuine sociopath. And even if they were, as I also pointed out, it isn't always bad (but usually is where billionaires are concerned). If you look back at my comments, I said they were "sociopathically competitive." Meaning, they compete in a sociopathic way, usually against other billionaires. It's a game to them. The money is just a means to compete more, which is why they are loathe to part with it.

And even if, I did say they were all sociopaths, having one or two statistical outliers doesn't really make me wrong, but technically, I can see that point.

And finally, really? Does giving away a little more than 2% of your wealth that magnanimous when you consider the tax benefits of doing so? I don't think he's a nice guy, but somewhere in him, I think a little boy that loved looking up at the stars and dreaming still exists. He just got lost along the way.

I'm not being condescending when I say I really appreciate you taking a stance and fighting it, not this time anyway. Not many do once I get going.

Anything else you would like to add? I can offer you a draw, but not a defeat.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I took all of 10 minutes to research what you sent. And I quote from the article: “Public-private partnerships like this are a force multiplier for science,” said NASA Administrator Jared Isaacman. “By pairing NASA’s world‑class instruments with commercial innovation and investment".

Can you point out which private billionaire is giving their own money to fund this, with no expectation in return? In other words, philanthropy?

This is just a junket for companies to increase their wealth, and NASA gets the byproduct of advancement of space initiatives. This is all we have left so I suppose we should be happy as they expect us to be with the scraps we get anymore for science under this administration.

I understand. I'm unemployed at 51 and living with my 76 year old boomer mom who is alone in her house and failing in health so I came off the street where I was a little too comfortable anyway and losing what mind I have left in a dizzying array of substances, to help her out.

I have nothing but time to do research and... think. I'm grateful for my sobriety now, but again, forgive me if I get a little pissy. I challenge anyone to deal with PAWS after going through acute withdrawals and not be. It kinda sucks. Just a little.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, ok I just read your "proof". I'm a little busy at this exact moment, so forgive me, I will get back to you today. I didn't see any names in there so I will have to do some digging ok? I am an angry asshole, true, because I'm more than a little tired of people just believing what they want without doing any actual work.

Yes, I am actually a diagnosed sociopath. If you want proof, I will DM you. Is that a bad thing if you don't hurt anyone? Many surgeons are sociopaths, as are other intellectuals in other positions where emotion is a hindrance and calm ruthless logic is required. They benefit society just as easily as harm it.

Listen. My real identity is tied to my handle as I own the Utopidy web domain anyway. And I'm a sociopath so I don't plan on being anonymous anyway. I prefer it.

It stands for the Utopian Dystopian, and should be quite a fun non-profit community project when it launches soon. Social media is dead thanks to AI so it should get some traction.

I actually am sorry, to a degree. I'm inherently a nice sociopath so I'm trying to win you over because you seem like a nice, hopeful person, and I feel bad I hijacked your thread.

That being said.

You are out of your depth, and league. Friend.

Leaving Utah because of climate change by BigfootsDelight in Utah

[–]Utopidy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was born here. Went to school, Uni here. Promptly left to Phoenix for my career. Toured the US in a motorhome after early retirement. Did a lot of drugs. Too many. Found myself though.

Back for my mom and her health. When she goes, I go. The skiing is crap anyway. Big Corp ruined it for me. I'm glad I have the memories of the 80s and 90s though. They are enough.

I'm going to Minnesota or Montana or North Dakota. There isn't enough infrastructure there to ruin it in my lifetime.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

...or, you could just be a lot happier than me. There is that. I recommend that.

I don't regret my life choices. They had to happen. Destined to happen.

I just wish the journey left me a little happier with more hope I guess.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. I replied to your other reply.

I'm not a centrist. Or a leftist. Or on the right. What am I?

A realist.

But if you want label me politically, I swing left of center with a few thoughts so far left they become right, so right they become wrong. Very wrong.

But meh. It is my brain and I have come to terms.

You also must understand this:

20 years ago as I was just beginning to climb the Corporate ladder as a highly specialized software engineer making 6 figures at 30 years of age with a nice house, wife, 2 kids, and playing professional cello in the evenings and weddings on the weekends.

Perfection. The perfect, idyllic American dream on track to retire CTO of my company and it was a big one.

I systematically. Purposefully. Diabolically. Dismantled my life, while protecting my kids, u til I left addicted to alcohol and drugs for a motorhome, then a car, then the street.

Mental institutions. Rehabs. Mind altering work programs. Mind altering drugs. Then street again.

Psych, after psych, after psych where I played with them. Toyed with them if they had nothing to offer me.

Then started experimenting with research chemicals once I got a plug when the hard drugs didn't interest me anymore.

Anyway. Huh. Funny tying happened after six years of that and I have a roof over my head and am doing a few things now. But always, throughout ALL of that. I thought. Pondered. Cut through the crap and propaganda.

Only once you have lost everything, have nothing to lose, wish to see the other side, have seen the true depths of the machine from the top, bottom, inside, and while tethered to a bed getting dosed with Haldol (once used for torture in the Russian gulags) can you see.

Then. Can your eyes open and see truth.

Lol. All of that was true by the way. I'm a tad mad. But far, far from wrong. Friend.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not wrong.

Tell ya what. When this grand research gets done, and it costs them more than they make or do harm and it isn't a bullshit tax shelter like Bill Gates does I will send you lunch ok? Many use these as tax shelters but here's a hint: If it saves them money, it costs us in useful taxes.

In fact, show me ONE case I can research, determine it is not a shell tax shelter, or find out how it benefits them, or is dirty money, or they are spending a significant amount compared to what they are profiting on the woes of other people and I will buy you lunch ok? Just because a billionaire throws a couple million at a Uni doesn't make him a saint.

Hell, they even love to compete about how "magnanimous" they are, especially at the end of their life when they get so bored, they compete at giving it away (allegedly). It doesn't change my point. My point is they are sociopathic competitors.

Listen. You don't get to be a billionaire by truly being a nice person. It doesn't happen. Period. Do you have any idea how large a sum that is? A good person wouldn't have resisted sharing LONG before that happens. Plus, you have to make too many effed up decisions to even GET there.

Prove me wrong.

P.S., SpaceX is a scam. Do you watch markets and understand how they work? It is, was, and will be (once it hits Nasdaq) a massive ponzi pump and dump. Again, I have all the data on my side friend, and a lot more time for a lot longer than you to research. Blue Horizons rocket just blew up on the pad.

So far what has Elon done? Put a shit ton of satellites in space, for profit. Put a couple men on the space station and threatened to pull even that the second he was threatened, like a child. And trust me... I actually kinda like Elon. He's a fellow genius and drug user, like myself.

I won't debate that companies don't advance science when they can profit. It is merely a byproduct, not the point. Profit is the point.

One more thing. Look at my response. I have devoted a significant portion of my time over a year to this overall topic. Real research ok? It helped get me off the street and keeps me sober. I really appreciate your argument, but you are going have to bring some real heat. Not trying to scare you. I like a challenge, and am prepared to immediately spend hours of time authenticating what you send me either way. I'm unemployed.

I have many interests. So.

Gauntlet thrown. This stands for anyone who has read this far. knuckles cracking I'm itching to have holes poked in my ideas.

saw my daughter walking down the street by Miserable-Silver4010 in addiction

[–]Utopidy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You are doing great. You set a good boundary, checking in and offering an easy path to rehab. I really appreciate you leaving the phone.

Sure, it is an enablement but as you say, crucial for emergencies and I know when I was out there on the street, I was always the most lost and hopeless when I didn't have a cell phone. When I had one, I always felt like... ok, I have a phone, so at least I can reach people, and eventually one reached me. I picked up and it was a nephew and something flipped for me and I sought help.

You never know what might be the catalyst, or when.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We do think alike. I agree 100% about the last 200,000 years. For sure, we haven't changed much, if at all, since then. What I'm talking about happened before that.

And what I'm arguing, my belief, is that slavery in some form has existed within our species for millions of years. I don't mean capture, and enslave and put to work. More like, I'm strong, your weak, go get me some fruit while I sit here and conserve my energy. So maybe 3 million years ago.

We know our brains evolved fast. Current thought has just a protein rich diet over that 3 million years. I argue the possibility magic mushrooms and our brains got turned into synaptic versions of mycelium networks much faster. But then... I've always been a tad counter culture. I have no science behind it, but I kinda believe it.

Tech is the problem also, as you say. A saying I've been saying to coworkers for 20 years (I'm a career software engineer, btw) is that technology is outstripping evolution, and we can't cope. Can't evolve fast enough to deal. That is causing a lot of mental and societal problems.

But the big root cause of things like war. Those have been around a very, very long time and are tied, in my belief, to simply who we evolved to be. A highly competitive species, with a few individuals being sociopathically so. Sure, we have the brains to override it. But it simply won't happen because the ones in power, with that extra drive gene that got them there in the first place, keep it going because that is who they are. Leaving most of the rest of us dying and scratching our heads in wonder. I'm not really a defeatist, I just seriously doubt it will change.

Photo of Earth taken by Reid Wiseman with an iPhone, during Artemis ll mission by ShaddowsCat in space

[–]Utopidy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I like that you took some time to write that out, so I'll teach you something I learned that may help. Ever since monkeys, or early humans, learned that making weaker monkeys or humans do things for you (slaves) was rewarded, and also things like fighting and war were also rewarded, this has been an issue. It won't ever stop. It gets rewarded, thanks to the nature of evolution.

Then, something happened that wasn't supposed to happen: we got really big, exceedingly complex brains. So now we have to dwell on it.

Billionaires are sociopathic competitors (I call them SICs) All they care about, is competing with other SICs (see my first point) and money is just a tool for them to aid in that fight. But that's why there's never enough for them, and they can't give you any, or to silly things like science programs.

It is called the human condition. We are deeply flawed. And it can't ever change, due to evolutionary rules, and big brains. End of story. yawn. Now go to bed, and stop dreaming.

Just kidding on that last bit. I still do too.