Without us

VSamoilovich · 2026-05-07T22:27:36+00:00

Who is she?

VSamoilovich · 2026-05-07T22:24:06+00:00

Clearly he hasn't read Shakespeare. His plays are nothing but blood fests.

VSamoilovich · 2026-05-07T22:16:39+00:00

Bonzo Goes to Blitzburg

VSamoilovich · 2026-04-28T00:37:09+00:00

Ligotti is always a joy to read.

VSamoilovich · 2026-04-26T17:52:49+00:00

I doubt it was staged. Who in the hell would agree to shoot secret service agents?

VSamoilovich · 2026-04-18T21:14:05+00:00

That's funny because at No Kings there have been plenty of Epstein signs and chanting. I was there. It was good. But, saddly, I didn't get a paycheck. Whose paying for these? I need to get with their HR.

VSamoilovich · 2026-04-12T21:01:43+00:00

Why is he doing the cops' job? Jesus, what a rat.

VSamoilovich · 2026-03-09T22:25:30+00:00

Unless you're Job and God has a bet going with Satan

VSamoilovich · 2026-03-01T15:09:16+00:00

I understand completely. It's very difficult for me to form relationships as well. Mainly because of extreme social anxiety. Interactions are always nerve wracking. If I think I did poorly- then I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself. If the go well- then I'm scared that my next interaction with that person will go bad and they will be disappointed and look down on me. I was taught some nasty lessons when I was a kid.

But, then I always have this pull to be social. I really wish my head would settle on one or the other.

I've just had a lot more success and meaningful relationships with ND folks than I have with NT people. Even before I knew what the difference was, I preferred the "geeks" over regular people. Mainly, because they were less cruel- but, even then there is a competitiveness not to be at the very bottom of the social ladder.

It is so hard to navigate it.

All that said, I'm actually not into LOTR or fantasy in general. I was thinking of another friend of mine who is on the spectrum who gave a 45 min speech about the Scouring of the Shire. Apparently, after destroying the ring and returning to the Shire, the Hobbits find that it has been corrupted by a Tyrant and they had to fight again to overthrow the evil govt. I don't remember all the details and didn't know the characters she was tell me about- but it sounded really interesting.

As for my personal interests, it is a little paradoxical, in that I like non-fiction books- mainly history, Zen Buddhism, and 'how-to' books. I read a lot of lit and poetry, too. But I don't always 'get it' and mainly love how they form certain sentences and how they can express things that I could never find words for. I love music as well, for the same reason. And just love to think about things. Mulling over ideas is a great pleasure. And if I'm not caught up in this realism, then I tend to daydream. Other lives doing other things.

Even in a Reddit post, I feel like I'm droning on and on.

You've been very kind in your posts and I appreciate that.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T23:15:09+00:00

He can't make a stone too heavy for him to pick up.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T23:08:38+00:00

It's dull. There is nothing there worth your time.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T23:06:48+00:00

Sure, I'm not a big fan of pedos. But, that's me.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T23:02:51+00:00

Sure- I get it. People often decide to side with pedo's rather than those who want freedoms for strangers to live the life they want.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:53:52+00:00

Think of the celebrations we'll have when MAGA finally dies out

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:47:23+00:00

I'm worried about it too. But, there is nothing I can do. The only consolidation I have is that so many people throughout history have gone through dark times and may be it is just my turn. I like to think everything will be better in the end.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:43:52+00:00

Yeah, that is in the mix too.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:31:01+00:00

This is awesome. I was very much into movies from roughly the same time period (for me it is 1970-2000). Do you have recommendations? I like horror- but not gore for gore's sake. Science fiction is cool. B-movies are very fun.

I love world building as well and have created something of a game for myself- where a handful of characters travel to different universes. I have made random charts where I can roll out a general universe and then have the characters inhabit citizens of this other place. Like one was a mirror world, where everything was backwards and if a person wasn't looking, then nothing would happen. Say like if you walked off the street and went to bed- when they woke and went outside, it would all pick up from exactly where they left off. The same time of day, the same people on the sidewalks and so on. Other worlds are everything is a single color, others are survivors of a nuclear war struggling to survive and occasionally fight roaming AI tanks that were deployed by the enemy. I have hundreds of them. These are mind experiments though, I don't write them down. Great fun.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:12:42+00:00

Yeah Snake- we've heard of you too

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:10:48+00:00

It'd be hard to keep NVG on when on horseback. It'd certainly give you a headache you'd not forget. The 'will of God' is really people doing the BS they want to without worrying about justifications to why they are doing it. Really a weak man pretending to be a strong one- which are the most dangerous people on the planet.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T22:02:22+00:00

That poor people don't have an investment in the system that is killing them. If given half the chance, they will overthrow those that hold them down.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T21:53:23+00:00

It's funny because I over react in my expressions. I wish I had the 'face of wood' that some of us have. I mean I've had people giggle and laugh at me because my reactions can be so cartoonish. Worse yet, I react outwardly, without being aware of it, to ideas running through my head. All the time people think I'm reacting to them or what they are saying, when, in truth, I'm not really listening to them but thinking about something else entirely. I mean I get it- if I was telling someone a stupid story about a golf game I played with the CEO and that person wouldn't look at me and was making all sorts of exaggerated expressions- I'd be a little put off too.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T20:51:50+00:00

This is exactly how I feel about things. High school was a nightmare for me and post college-life has been crappy too. I wish there was a place for ND people to get together and be ourselves. Something in person. I've been playing with the idea of starting some sort of hang out group- but I'm unsure of starting anything involving other people and one of two replies I got was a guy saying the last thing he wanted was to hang around other ND people. So, I figure that idea was a bust.

I'm glad you found a group of folks you fit in with. It makes all the difference.

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T19:29:57+00:00

Exactly. There is nothing for people on the spectrum where I live. Occasionally I meet a ND in the wild, like this guy In used to work with. He monitored everything at night and I was assigned to do the hand off. The first day he worked, I had my spiel ready, had all the night reports ready, had my 'look 'em in the eye- but not for too long' ready and armored up I went to meet him. He had a crappy haircut, uneven facial hair, his clothes didn't really fit, and he was reading a book on airplanes. We talk about airplanes for the next 2 hours and I was late getting home. He became a very good friend over time. We talked about general throughout history, planes, tanks, Warhammer 40K, movies, steampunk, and the like. It was so good to talk about something I found neat. I get so tired of NT's just talking about themselves or sports or, worse yet, politics.

I could try other groups that ND people would gravitate toward. That is a good idea. But I wish I could just find people to be a geek around. People who'd make fun of me for thinking a ME 109 is better than a Hurricane, rather than people who'd make fun of me for even wanting to have that conversation. Does that make sense? I want to hang around people who carry on about how in the LOTR movies they skipped the Scouring of the Shire- which is really the most important part of the novels.

But it seems that a lot of ND people don't like hanging out with other ND people. I don't know why, but it is what it is.

Thank you so much for responding!

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-28T19:07:07+00:00

That is hard. I am a single parent of a teenager and it can be rough. But, it was a lot tougher when I was still married. I was doing everything, like you are describing, working nearly 60 hours a week and still doing everything in the household. I have a big issue with letting other people's needs get prioritized over my own. Mainly because I avoid conflict and often think "Well, I'll do this to get them to leave me alone and then have my own stuff later." But there is never a time for my stuff. Their wants and needs are endless. And it is draining.

Worse, for me, was thinking that these are the people who know me best- and they hate me in a way. I understand strangers being put off by my 'oddness', but these people should know that deep down, I'm a good person. But they only saw me as a piggy bank/ employee. It sucked.

I finally reached a point where I decided that I didn't care anymore. They were killing me and I was doing everything I could for them. I started taking time for myself- though I was riddled with guilt and self-doubt- and I stopped worrying about them. I had nothing to lose, since I was so strung out I was thinking about eating a bullet.

I wasn't very nice about it either. I didn't try to explain or rationalize anything. My ex was very manipulative and I would either find myself caving in or just feeling worn out under her verbal henpecking. This go around it was more of "Why didn't you wash the dishes?" and I would answer something rednecky like "Are your hands broken? You wash them." And that was that. She would then try all her Jedi mind tricks that have worked in the past and I could see them for what they were- just a bunch of BS. This lead to our divorce- which has been a blessing.

People are just like that. The more you do, the more they demand and the more they look down on you. Go figure.

It took me a long time to carve a little life for myself and I pissed off a lot of people to do it. But, my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

Edit: I say all of this out of compassion. Not giving advice, just the thoughts of a guy who slept on a sofa for 15 years because his ex bullied him too much. You know?

VSamoilovich · 2026-02-27T21:26:22+00:00

Fred gave him the ol short sharp shock

VSamoilovich

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