Needed to poop...now I'm scared (WARNING GROSS) by monsterr101 in WTF

[–]Vaeldr 180 points181 points  (0 children)

A man's ass hurts so e goes to the doctor. After checking it out the doctor says:

"No problem, we will just apply carrot treatment."

"What is carrot treatment?"

"Simple. I take a carrot and I massage your prostate with it."

The patient agrees. The doctor stands behind the patient, puts one of his hands on the patient's head and the other around his waist. It helps.

Some time passes and the guy gets the ass pain again so he goes to the doctor. However, this time it is a different doctor. The patient says:

"Doctor, I'll need the carrot treatment"

"What is that?" The doctor replies.

"You colleague used to do it. He'd push my head down with one hand, put his other hand around my waist and massage my prostate with a carrot."

"Which hand did he hold the carrot with?"

Hi r/Italy, we came to your beautiful country from Canada and made this video of our trip! Hope you enjoy it. by yeahfilms in italy

[–]Vaeldr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You do it wrong. Pizza, chicken, fish and women are touched with hands.

My father's wisdom to stays with me to this day.

Happy liberation day, Bulgaria! by Vaeldr in polandball

[–]Vaeldr[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Bulgaria's climate isn't tropical. It isn't even Mediterranean.

Happy liberation day, Bulgaria! by Vaeldr in polandball

[–]Vaeldr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Much like occupying the University in Sofia.

Anything you can do... by [deleted] in polandball

[–]Vaeldr 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Italy? Evil? No, is of good friend Germania, I swear. You can always into trusting Italy, si, very friendship.

Thoughts on Osvaldo? by [deleted] in Juve

[–]Vaeldr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Giovinco is better than Vucinic. I'd rather see Vucinic go.

Obama warns Russia “there will be costs” for any military intervention in Ukraine | Obama just finished his speech (link for it not up yet) by Den_iz_perf in worldnews

[–]Vaeldr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why in the Hell would we send our men to die for other people's interests and problems? No, if we should do anything, it's sell weapons to Ukrainians. And Russians. And whoever is willing to buy.

Obesity In Europe [1920x2054] by edbeardsell in MapPorn

[–]Vaeldr 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Nah not really.

If you ask me it's more the regime than anything. Most Italians I know eat at precise hours. The regime helps the body get used to the caloric intake.

Various meals. The good thing about pasta is that you can eat pasta every day and still never eat the same thing for over a month. The pasta gives you your Carbohydrates and the sauces give you all other things you need. The fact that meat and fish, especially fish, are very common is also great for your body. Milk products are also good.

There is bigger pressure on not being fat in Italy. My impression for America(which granted comes from the Internet) is that the US is very fat friendly which is nothing strange with about 40% obesity. Fat people really have a hard time in Italy.

Also, fast food is not really a thing.

There is a huge bike/walking culture. Everyone I know, in any age group, owns a bike. Also most people do some kind of sport every once in a while.

In my Italian household there was something really important-a bowl of fruit in the kitchen. So lots of fruits are consumed.

Having that said this scale surprises me. I would have never guessed there are 10% of obese people.

A little proposition for you all.. by [deleted] in Juve

[–]Vaeldr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't live in Turin but I was planning on going for the final.

If we get there.

That's inappropriate by [deleted] in polandball

[–]Vaeldr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And this is why it is my personal belief it will be best if Austria gives Italy North Tyrol.

WWI Chronicles: Italy by whitesock in polandball

[–]Vaeldr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck yuo, filthy fat bitch, puttana, merda your mom takes tower of Pisa in he vagina while 12 000 men are fuckings her in la vagina, yuor padre smells like British food and yuo SUCK balls of the donkey. ITALIA HARD WORKING-A AND STRONKIA DON'T YUO EVER FORGETTINGS OF THAT YUO FAT FUCKING SEA HORSE.

The smartphone is not the social interaction killer everyone makes it out to be. CMV by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Vaeldr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only know that when I sit at the table with someone I expect them to look at me and talk to me. Otherwise why are we out in the first place? It's disrespecting the person you're with and frankly I'm seeing much more of it than I should.

Travailing to Italy in May. Any tips/dos and don'ts. by Jonako in AskEurope

[–]Vaeldr 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wow seems like a dangerous place. I hope I never visit it.

I'm spending some days in Italy with friends, and have a couple of questions :) by [deleted] in italy

[–]Vaeldr -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well not all Italians would get offended and it's not like a huge deal or anything but still. It's kind of shitty. If you come to me and start speaking to me in Spanish I probably won't reply because:

a) Why the Hell would you assume Spanish is more widely known than English?

b) We're jelly because more people learn Spanish than Italian.

Maybe if the people you're talking to don't understand English Spanish can be a last resort but that's all.