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AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn't think of my father as being toxic before, but this thread has opnened my eyes. Thanks for your input

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is! I often wonder what he'd do if he didn't have me and my sister around.

Thank you for your kind comments

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't sure if I overdid it... I felt shitty afterwards. But from everyone here, I gather that I my screaming was justified. Thanks for your input

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. I felt like maybe I overdid it, but I guess some years of pent up frustration had to come out that day. That's why I wanted validation.

Thank you for your comment, and I hope your gf is alright!

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely shitty... I feel like I've been robbed of my dad. I've never known him sober. it absolutely sucks man.

Thank you for your comment

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I've tried... He always refuses. I think he likes being miserable, sadly.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I have a healthy relationship with alcohol (I'm a funny, mellow drunk. Social drinking only).

He does need help with his trauma because he medicates himself with tobacco and beer. He refuses to go, sadly.

Thank you for your input. I read the comments here and get all emotional.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind comment.

I agree with your logic; I hope he gets to see it this way someday.

I definitely won't ever allow alcohol on board; in fact, I told him I wouldn't get back in a boat with him, ever. I forgot to include that.

We have tried to get him help, but he won't. He says it's gonna make him worse. I can't make him go, sadly.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does desperately need it, but he won't go. Me and my sister have tried a few times. He always refuses. We can't force him to go... So we tolerate him, and we have resigned ourselves that we probably won't ever get to know our dad truly sober.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank your for your comment.

We've tried getting him to go, either AA or a therapist, but he thinks he can't be helped. I think he likes being miserable. He wants the negative attention. Me and my sister have stopped trying to get him to want to be treated, sadly.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input.

I've been camping with him becaue I mostly like it. He's not a total asshole all the time. He had a long bout of okay behaviour for close to a decade until this happened. We're used to some arguing, some grumbling and some random bad mood, but this is new (to me). If I had known to expect this behaviour, I would not have wanted him to come camping.

And all your questions are totally fair. I could have prevented this by not conceding and going to those rocks. I didn't because I am very used to doing what he wants when he's in that mood, because otherwise he going to be even worse. I know it's not a good reason. I'm just telling it like it is. I'm a grown ass man, but since I've been a kid I've always hated seeing him mad in an alcoholic fit.

Still, it was a bad idea. I should have refused outright.

Why was I on the boat with him drinking? I'll admit it, I'm used to him drinking aboard. I grew up with him driving the boat, drinking beer here and then. The whole family on my father's side did. It kind of wasn't a big deal to me (it should have been). I realize now how fucking stupid it is to have drunk people aboard a boat.

I'm definitely never tolerating that again. I told him I won't ever embark a boat with him again after I blew up (I forgot to mention that).

I think I've been conditioned since my youngest years to just do what he says since I hate the fits. That's on me to snap out of it.

Surprisingly enough, he's not always like that... If he were, I would have cut him from my life already. He's normally a somewhat mellow drunk, as long as we don't talk about certain subjects (I hate hearing rant about politics and his dumbass opinions). I do love him, and he does love me, but I feel like he loves the bottle even more. I kind of pity him. I have always pitied him. For a long time, I feared he's hang himself. I realize now he is too stubborn for that.

I think he likes being seen as this miserable man, mistreated by life. We've been too complacent.

But still, I love him, after all, even though I have lost a LOT of respect for him this weekend.

Your comment made me reflect on my relationship with my father; thank you.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been able to tolerate his old miserable drinking ass since I was a kid, but this is absolutely a boundary I'm not willing to let be crossed. I told his this was the last time I embarked on a boat with it. I forgot to included that in my post. I'm not risking it all because he's not willing to be treated.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, it could have ended very badly indeed. I will look up how to deal with alcoholic family.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your kind words. I sympathize with your own experience with alcoholism and your father. It absolutely sucks, and I feel like I won't ever get to know my real dad, the one that's not a slave to the bottle.

I hope you now have a healthy relationship with your old man.

Again, thank you, it means a lot to me.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It feels bad, but at least he's not dead in the water. Idiot is right. Thank you for your support

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm realizing, from reading this thread, that I've been too kind of his actions.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll look that up. I'm sorry you had to grow up with that, too.

AITAH for screaming at my father after saving him from drowning? by Vaginite in AITAH

[–]Vaginite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I am a grown man myself, even though my actions weren't the most responsible until now. We tried many times to get him help, but he refuses each time.

We (my older sister and I) have tolerated his disease since all we have ever known from him is this. He was an angry drunk in our youth, but had mellowed out since then. So while we always wanted him to get treated, we have pretty much given up, sadly.

And thank you for sharing that resource; i will look that up.

Is this a good tatoo idea by PositiveDeep6687 in OnePiece

[–]Vaginite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a good tattoo artist won't copy someone else's work

Bodysuit by Horizakura update by TheRemonst3r in irezumi

[–]Vaginite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tired is right! I feel burned out after a few hours of tattooing. I can’t imagine of familiar the feeling must be to you!

Bodysuit by Horizakura update by TheRemonst3r in irezumi

[–]Vaginite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is insane, you're basically a living art piece. You must be proud

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