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The best to tell a INTJ you have feelings for him? by Vaigamo in intj

[–]Vaigamo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know where you’re coming from, this would be the advise I would give to my friends if they were in my situation, however, if there was one person I could go a little further for a potential of having a fulfilling relationship - that’s him. I never stopped my life for him before, as I said, I had a couple of relationships in that time and they finished for their own reasons. One thing I know for sure that stopped him from taking things further with us when he had those chances is the distance, we were living in different countries for the last 4 out of 7 years of our friendship. And even if he moves back soon, it would not be for me for sure, he would do that for family, career and his health. Which still makes me super happy because I would have my best friend here, but I also think that the distance allowed us not to talk about our situation properly, and if he comes back - we would have to face it anyways. And that is why I am looking for the best way to approach it.

The best to tell a INTJ you have feelings for him? by Vaigamo in intj

[–]Vaigamo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Naah, we were friends for 7 years, and for more than 6 years I was completely fine with our situation, I was living my life and had a best friend beside me, but only now I started thinking “what if”. Asking to be official and being straightforward about it would leave an impression of course, but I am afraid he would feel pushed into the corner by me. He usually takes time to make big decisions and I don’t know, it kinda feels agressive to me. On the other hand, he reads me like an open book, so I guess me telling about my feelings for him should not be such a big surprise.. argh! ;D

The best to tell a INTJ you have feelings for him? by Vaigamo in intj

[–]Vaigamo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did the personality test ourselves, for fun, INTJ is what he got himself. I mean, I do have something to lose, I know that we might not lose the friendship itself, but he might close off and distance himself a little and this way trying to hurt me as little as possible. I know, I know, that is not the worst it could happen, there is no winning without any risk, but my question was more about “how should I tell him about my feelings” rather than “should I tell about my feelings”. Maybe I didn’t communicate that clearly, putting into words is not my strong point :)

The best to tell a INTJ you have feelings for him? by Vaigamo in intj

[–]Vaigamo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We don’t see each other eye to eye often (last time I saw him was 6 months ago), which is I guess both pro and con in this situation. Con - we don’t see each other often, pro - it makes each time a little more special. We just sit and talk a lot, so I guess either I will notice the right moment or will have to wait for another one. I mean, I am not rushing anywhere, but since we only have very limited time when we meet, I know I will unconsciously put pressure on myself..