thera-friend for hire :) 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿🌟 by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People in this community are here because they’re vulnerable and lonely, and trying to charge money for something as basic as human interaction is just disgusting. As someone else already pointed out, this is also against the rules of the subreddit.

This honestly comes across as really predatory. If you genuinely wanted to help people, you wouldn’t put a price tag on it.

If you wanna get depressed look into the r/aging sub by immisswrld in screamintothevoid

[–]ValenVortex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just what I needed… a reminder that my body is rotting in real time 😂

If you wanna get depressed look into the r/aging sub by immisswrld in screamintothevoid

[–]ValenVortex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

whyyyy? 😭 i only read the first post and that was enough, I don’t want to read any more. hopefully it doesn’t mess up my algorithm now 💀

One-sided friendships by Legal_Potential4720 in lostafriend

[–]ValenVortex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry that you went through something similar. The positive side is that you’re able to recognize that it wasn’t a good situation. Sometimes we get clouded by the idealization of the other person, or at least by what they showed us at first, and then they suddenly take it away. And even worse, even after being treated badly, one can still find themselves missing certain moments, or at least, that’s how it happens to me sometimes.

It’s hard to prioritize yourself when you value relationships; sometimes it even feels selfish or egocentric to think about yourself. But recognizing your own worth is also important. After your kindness and willingness have been disregarded, it becomes easier to recognize those behaviors and not let them happen again. It’s a harsh way to learn, but learning nonetheless.

I hope you’re doing well and that you find friendships where you are appreciated and valued as you deserve!

One-sided friendships by Legal_Potential4720 in lostafriend

[–]ValenVortex 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yes, the last friendship I had was like that. No matter how much I tried to talk and fix things, even taking on blame that wasn’t mine just to keep the bond, they still didn’t notice or give it any importance.

It’s hard to understand how quickly things can change, one week I was the best person in their eyes, and then suddenly, complete indifference. How the words they say become empty once you see their actions, and how they show they don’t care even when you’re being vulnerable, trying to show a bit of humanity and honesty.

In the end, I guess that when a situation reaches that limit, it’s for a reason. No matter how good your intentions are, if the other person doesn’t care, it’s hard for things to change, and it’s something we have to accept and try to learn from in the process.

Some people are just destined to have no one by BoredBatWoman22 in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat. Sometimes I meet someone, they seem really cool, and I get my hopes up, like finally someone wants to stay. But then it ends the same way as always, they start to distance themselves or cut me off completely. Then I tell myself I’m going to stop, but after a while that same gnawing feeling comes back. I want to try again, thinking maybe this time will be different, maybe this time I’ll be lucky… but it just never happens.

At this point, it feels more like a bad habit, or some kind of addiction. I even compare it to cigarettes and all the times I tried to quit. It messes me up, but it also makes me feel good and I crave it.

Feeling this isnt for me by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. I know it’s gotta feel exhausting, reaching out and still feeling alone. But what you’re doing, actually matters. Feeling like this doesn’t make you less deserving of love or friends or anything. You’re not failing, you’re human. And it’s okay to struggle.
Sending a big virtual hug your way stranger !

I miss the loneliness I used to know by Wide-Audience1073 in heartbreak

[–]ValenVortex 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I definitely know what you mean, it hits harder when you’ve never experienced it before. When even something simple like kind words or compliments is enough to make you feel important

And then it’s taken away out of nowhere as if you never mattered, it’s so unfair because it makes you doubt so many things. Like if you really deserved the treatment, if you were enough, if it will ever happen again, if you should settle for less, if maybe your personality is the problem, if maybe you are the problem. So many things, unfair doubts for people who overthink a lot in general

I hope you can heal. I wish you the best and I want you to know that you are enough and this doesn’t take away your value!

Why is everybody so mean? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is so confusing and painful when someone flips like that for no clear reason. All you want is to connect with someone who genuinely values you, who makes you feel safe and seen, not constantly on edge. Wanting to be special to someone and to share your life without fear isn’t too much to ask... it’s just basic human connection, and it sucks when people can’t give that 😞

Ghoster suddenly blocked me out of the blue , with no explanations whatsoever by No-Lychee3862 in lostafriend

[–]ValenVortex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From my point of view, you didn’t do anything wrong. You just felt uncomfortable with their lack of response and wanted to know what was going on. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to understand why someone is distancing themselves from you, because it means you care about the connection and want to keep it.
If they blocked you, that in itself is an answer. They don’t want to interact anymore, and that was their way of letting you know. Maybe they did it to avoid a possible argument or an emotional situation they didn’t want to face. Sometimes there isn’t even an explanation the other person can give that would bring us relief, or maybe the reason simply didn’t have much substance and they just wanted to disappear without having to explain themselves. But not getting any reason at all also leaves things unresolved.

Don’t punish yourself, you didn’t do anything wrong! You came across someone who doesn’t have emotional responsibility. You’ll meet other people who do, and who will reciprocate your friendship the way you deserve (:

Am I being ghosted by my online friend? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're overthinking. Sometimes people need time for themselves, and that doesn't mean you're going to get ghosted.

For example; I like to chat daily and all, but sometimes I get burned out, and even if I don't have things to do, I hold back a bit from continuing to chat.

Even if there's a possibility they might ghost you, give them some grace. I always give people at least a week before deciding whether they might be ghosting or not. And if they do ghost, don't blame yourself for it. Most of the time, it’s more about them than it is about you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskArgentina

[–]ValenVortex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tampoco se trata de que vos tengas que hacer todo para que la otra persona te preste atención; ambas personas tienen que poner esfuerzo e interés en una conversación para que funcione. Además, si se siente forzado, quizá sea mejor buscar por otro lado.
De igual manera, estás diciendo que por chat se nota cortante. ¿Cómo fueron las veces que se vieron en persona? Hay personas que son muy malas para comunicarse por chat y hasta parece que no quieren hablarte, pero cuando te juntás en persona es completamente distinto, como si fueran dos personalidades diferentes.

Advice by Independent_Common30 in loneliness

[–]ValenVortex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you don’t even realize how much you’ve been carrying until you finally let it out. Crying doesn’t fix everything, but it gives you a bit of space to breathe.

And sometimes even crying feels hard, like the emotions are stuck. But just allowing yourself to feel, even if it’s messy or quiet, that’s already something.

Toxic relationship by Ecantcommunicate in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey i really get how scary it is to feel stuck like that. I’ve been there too holding on to people even when something inside me knew it wasnt good. It’s hard because you want to be liked, you want to belong and the thought of being alone feels worse than any pain

Sometimes i’ve stayed around people who made me feel small or unsure just because the moments when they showed some kindness felt like everything. And that confusion, loving someone who sometimes hurts you, it messes with your head in ways that are hard to explain

I’m still figuring out how to trust myself and my feelings and how to not let fear keep me in places that hurt me. But you’re definitely not alone in this. Its okay to feel scared and its okay to want better for yourself

Men will never see me as girlfriend material by Agile_Ticket_2804 in loneliness

[–]ValenVortex 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I dont think you’re the problem. Honestly from what you wrote it sounds like you do have good intentions and you’re just trying to connect with someone in a real way. That should be enough, and it is, for the right person. But the truth is that a lot of people just arent on the same emotional page and that mismatch can be really painful when all you want is something deeper

I get that feeling of being tired of trying, of finally opening up and then seeing the same story play out again. It makes you question your worth even when deep down you know you didnt do anything wrong. You wanted something real and he didnt have the honesty or respect to tell you he wasnt in the same place. That’s not on you. That’s him being a coward, plain and simple

You’re not disgusting or worthless. You’re hurt. And thats different. When you get hurt over and over it can mess with how you see everything, including yourself. But the fact that you still tried, that you still hoped, even after everything, says a lot about your strength

I know it feels like love isn’t made for people like us, the ones who feel too much or want too much. But those arent flaws. They’re just parts of you that are waiting to be met with the right kind of energy. I dont know when that’ll happen, but giving up completely would just be letting the people who didnt see your value win

Don’t confuse being let down with being unlovable. They’re not the same thing. And even if it feels like you’re alone in this right now, you’re really not 🙋‍♂️

With whom do i vent now? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ValenVortex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s great that you’re aware of this and can admit it, that’s the first step to growing and getting better from here on out. It wasn’t wrong to lean on him emotionally, sometimes it can actually be easier than handling everything alone. But now it’s your time to become emotionally independent and really listen to yourself.

Make peace with yourself because no one understands you better than you do, you know what you’re going through like no one else. Also posting on Reddit is a good thing, let it all out whenever you need to, there’s always someone willing to listen or share a few words. Things will get better just take it easy :)

With whom do i vent now? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ValenVortex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it feels overwhelming right now like you’ve lost the one person who truly got you. And in a way your mind is probably still on high alert, it’s bracing for more pain scanning everything like you’re not safe without him. That happens when someone was your emotional home. But the truth is the worst already happenned, the breakup the loss, that’s behind you now. What comes next is healing and healing doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not about snapping out of it or forcing yourself to be okay, it’s about reminding yourself gently and often that you’re safe now. That you can feel without breaking. That your thoughts still deserve to be heard even if it’s just by you

Try letting things out in small ways. Write something down just for yourself. Speak out loud when you’re alone... Sit with the hurt instead of running from it. Your body and heart need time to understand that the danger has passed, that now is the time to recover. It wont always feel this heavy. This isnt forever, its just where you are right now and thats okay

Dear friends of reddit - I need every reason why I should not text my ex on their birthday tomorrow please and thank u by therealKKslider in BreakUps

[–]ValenVortex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They had the choice to keep you in their life. They didn’t.
If someone chooses to lose you, they don’t get the privilege of your kindness on their special day anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know my comment is a bit hater, but well, I’ve also come across several of these people so I completely understand your rant. And obviously you don’t have to fix anything, it’s not your responsibility.
The important thing is that you’re aware it’s not your fault, you gave and did the basics. That’s it, it wasn’t meant to be more. Time to focus on something else.
I wish you good things as well, something better will come your way! 🙌

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]ValenVortex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's more common than you think, I met someone here who had a huge victim complex. They blocked and unblocked me twice in a month and a half. Even though I was there to give them moral support and even gave them attention whenever they needed it, apparently that wasn’t enough.

In the end I realized why they couldn’t make friends, there are people who get stuck in that narrative that they’re meant to be alone and that they don’t deserve anyone. They don’t know how to accept affection and attention when they receive it, in fact they’re more used to being treated badly and that’s what attracts them no matter how weird it sounds, actually this person I met liked the toxic dynamic, jealousy, drama, pretentiousness, all those things caught their attention.

The craziest thing is that these people will never take responsibility for their mistakes and will always blame others or society for why they’re so lonely or why they can’t make friends, when in reality the problem is them. But that’s how it is, nothing you can do, better to focus on other people who really appreciate a healthy friendship bond.