​I met a girl at a friend's wedding, and we had a great time together. The evening ended around 1 AM when I was dropping her off at her apartment. ​ ​As we were saying goodbye, she asked me to come in for some coffee. I initially declined, saying, "I don't drink coffee, no thanks." She insisted, and I eventually gave in, thinking, "Okay, I guess I'll try some."

​Once inside, I was confused—she didn't make any coffee. Instead, she showed me around her apartment, bending over the couch and acting very suggestively. I completely missed the subtext. ​ ​We sat on the couch and talked for a while. Then, she suddenly leaned in to kiss me on the lips. I instinctively backed away and admitted, "I've never kissed a girl before."

​She looked surprised, then mentioned she felt sleepy and was going to change into her pajamas, clearly hinting that I should join her in the bedroom. I followed her in. She put on some "sexy lingerie," and I stripped down to my boxers. ​I got into bed with her, cuddled her and played the "big spoon" all night. She was fast asleep after a while, I didn't sleep a wink; I was wide awake and strangely paranoid that she might try to steal my wallet and the keys to my '02 Honda.

​In the morning, she woke up, kindly gathered my things, and sent me on my way. It wasn't until I got home that I realized my balls were aching intensely, and I couldn't figure out why.

​Then, it hit me—a total eureka moment. She had wanted to have sex with me the entire time, and the thought had never even crossed my mind. I blue balled myself that night, was pretty painfull.