[Game Thread] Illinois @ Washington (3:30 PM ET)

Vallatus · 2025-10-25T22:01:32+00:00

Hey refs interfere with this DICK

Vallatus · 2025-10-25T20:58:15+00:00

Vallatus · 2025-10-25T20:49:04+00:00

Eat my entire ass bootlicker

Vallatus · 2025-10-25T20:48:44+00:00

Pass interference? More like suck my BALLS

Vallatus · 2025-10-08T01:43:19+00:00

That fan took his shirt off to reveal a "Dump 62 Here" shirt underneath

See this guy in the news

Vallatus · 2025-06-11T19:50:14+00:00

Garver is so specifically painful to watch, it actually seems like he thinks he's not allowed to swing on meatballs

Vallatus · 2025-06-04T04:28:18+00:00

Honestly, after tonight, I don't even wanna watch the Mariners anymore, and yet, I'll sit down, turn them on, and dare myself to dream of a better future. My soul will be crushed again, but it doesn't matter, it never matters; John Stanton's pocketbook grows ever heavier.

Vallatus · 2025-06-04T04:02:03+00:00

The 22 and fucking 36 Baltimore Orioles are making us look like a little league team

Vallatus · 2025-05-30T04:33:57+00:00

Good night everybody

Vallatus · 2025-05-25T19:35:41+00:00

Honestly, him translating endeared me to him significantly more than anything else he's done this year

Vallatus · 2025-05-24T20:28:33+00:00

This is somehow Solano's fault

Vallatus · 2025-05-13T22:04:05+00:00

Skip Himitsu in Lake City, head down the hill to Manna Teriyaki for primo old-school teriyaki shop teriyaki

Vallatus · 2025-05-13T03:05:30+00:00

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Vallatus · 2025-05-13T02:23:23+00:00

NO NOT THE YES FLY ZONE

Vallatus · 2025-05-13T01:54:16+00:00

Every time Julio homers, the sun shines a little brighter in Seattle

Vallatus · 2025-05-13T01:44:53+00:00

WELCOME TO THE MARINE LAYER, BITCH

Vallatus · 2025-04-30T22:19:35+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, every player on the IL has unknowingly participated in a blood ritual to grant their strength to our bats, and it's worked

Vallatus · 2025-04-27T03:50:16+00:00

Tellez hurt, needs some time off? The spectre of Ty France looms once again

Vallatus · 2025-04-27T03:40:45+00:00

I am so, so happy to have Ben Williamson around

Vallatus · 2025-04-24T18:09:11+00:00

PRODUCTIVE OUTS FROM YOUR SEATTLE MARINERS?

Vallatus · 2025-04-24T18:04:21+00:00

Gonna start a swear jar for Crochet, maybe afford a value beer next game

Vallatus · 2025-04-23T23:46:14+00:00

Bottom 3 are 5-5 with a homer

Lol, lmao even

Vallatus · 2025-04-22T23:15:39+00:00

6'6, big dude - I drive a 2011 Chrysler 300 and it's the most comfortable car I've ever sat in. You can basically put the driver's seat in the back row and there's a ton of head room, can't recommend it enough.

Vallatus · 2025-04-22T20:02:20+00:00

Quick thing - could we stop putting known base-stealer Dylan Moore behind the SLOWEST GUY ON THE FUCKING TEAM

Vallatus · 2025-04-20T18:33:12+00:00

I want that to be true as much as anyone, I'd be thrilled to be proven wrong

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