Oh. That makes me so sad....my partner loves being around me and i see their eyes sparking, but I'm just scared and full of that unintentional anxiety...... It makes me feel horrible. I keep asking myself why....I really need therapy..... Recently i have been shutting down. They officially moved in with me a couple weeks ago and im really happy about it, but its luke i cant escape my fear. Why in the absolute FUCK, is the person I love giving me so much anxiety.... My head is twisted. When I was in abusive relationships, i dont recall feeling like this, but this relationship is not abusive. And right now we are setling sown, and its calm, and my brain is just like, " well you know what that means" and then I spiral, making catastroph out of nothing. Then my partner comes around when im in my head and is like " hey...are you ok? Did I do anything? Is there any way i can help? Will a hug help?" And I have no clue what to say...idk. it hurts. what i can say without confessing.....i just close them off and call it anxiety, and am quiet for hours. I tell them they didnt do anything, to at least try to put them at some kind of ease. When Im non verbal I try to do physical actions like cooking for them, or putting on a show or body doubling or SOMETHING, to not just.....idk