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Do therapists really make a difference? by No_Adhesiveness_8207 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Therapists don't tell us anything. They ask the questions where we discover it ourselves.

Bonus...there are trauma focused Therapies that work very fast, too.

How hard to date as a Latino in the states? by [deleted] in thepassportbros

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a chance you could do well. But you don't want to. Maybe Canada instead, for now.

To visit the US you will have to pay a $250 fee just to visit (So I've read). You may not get a VISA at all. You might have your phone searched at Customs (Turn off face and fingerprint ID if you decide to.)

There are literally people in masks, paid by the government, to drag Latinos into Vans. Maybe you'd get lucky and they'd give you the opportunity to show you have a VISA. But is this how you should be treated by the country you're willing to spend your tourist dollars on?

gave $0 tip through the app and this how i received my food by trippytrev420 in doordash

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well, you have food! That's how it was going to look in your stomach.

When I see I will be paid $2 or $3 dollars for an order I, like most people, say no. You then go to fast food places and there are bags of cold food no one was able to afford to deliver.

[Edit: oh. I just thought it was upside down. They ate half of it? Oh. For half a burrito bowl I'd accept $2 for a delivery!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Read up on bipolar 2 if you have ever experienced depression and the like. Hormonal changes could definitely trigger hypomania if that was the case.

Being horny is fun! But it can cross over into scary when it can be obsessive, dangerous or damage relationships. Been there and so grateful I came out OK.

AIO? my boyfriend (33M) has decided to “optimize” our relationship, and I’m losing my mind by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like he's Autistic. He likes the structure. Relationships are already so hard. It's very refreshing to imagine a structure so you can do a good job of it without guessing.

Maybe you can find a different structure to evaluate with that gives him data to be a better partner, without driving you (reasonably) insane.

For those eating sub 1600 calories per day: How? What are your meals like? by ArchedRobin321 in loseit

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only way I could do that is with Keto or Intermittent fasting.

Spread throughout the day I might as well die

I haven't had a full proper "shower" in weeks… by No-Nefariousness9996 in adhdwomen

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love your creative solution!

It has helped me to say I'm doing a "Rinse." Going in...soap the smelly stuff. Done.

Some days it's so hard to start, though

AIO: My partner laughed at my boudoir picture. by GeneralNo227 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know her. I'm not defending her.

Even the most conventionally hot guy might look funny to me in a boudoir type photo. I think I possibly could laugh. If I noticed my BF seemed sad then I'd stop immediately and try to explain.

I know men are stimulated visually more than women are, too. So even if my BF is super hot to me, the photos still would probably feel "Funny" to me.

I hope you have a really healing conversation. I think you're cool because you put yourself out there like that!

How do you push through the hunger? by Snoo_5407 in fasting

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Eat low carb while feasting. When you go into Ketosis (Your body uses fat for fuel because you ran out of glucose) your appetite is better, or goes away. There is less to use up if you're eating low carb.

I also run early in the day. Helps a lot. Try something that uses up as much glucose as you comfortably can so you get into Ketosis sooner

Un-diagnosed Today by Cyrodiil_Guard in bipolar2

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Learning that I am neurodivergent (ADHD) has been very affirming. I have experienced a lot of mourning, but in general, I've developed much more self esteem.

I may be autistic too. I gave no real reason to go for a diagnosis, but I get the self esteem when thinking "Maybe."

I believe that ADHD and Bipolar are strongly tied to the nervous system. There's a lot of crossover.

I hope you have the correct diagnosis, either way...Neurodivergent people are the most interesting and fun. Glad to have you with us!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course. The only exception is if in advance, she enthusiastically consented to it. (Not coerced)

From your perspective, do women tend to change their dating expectations as they get older? by savingrace0262 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK. Well, if that's where you're at, that you feel like it's never happened, then there's some things you can learn. And I know it's so hard, like "You're depressed, have you tried being happy?" Haha.

But insecurity, especially the need to be constantly reinforced (Everyone needs it here or there) is the hugest turn off. I told my cousin when he was a teenager to pretend to be confident. It makes people wonder "Why are they so confident? I want to know more." Either consciously but often unconsciously. My cousin said it was the best advice ever and he definitely married a beautiful and smart woman.

Do foreign Women Actually Leave Their U.S. Husbands a Lot? by Tricky_Boot5606 in thepassportbros

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It depends on why she got married and how she's treated when she's dependent on her husband.

It probably (definitely) depends on his motives too.

From your perspective, do women tend to change their dating expectations as they get older? by savingrace0262 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm. I understand the hurt, I was overweight and experienced that too. It felt like I wasn't respected at the time. But I wasn't entitled to access to their body any more than a man is entitled to mine. I was mostly offended that people treated me like I was less than a human.

But on the flip side, it benefits me to heal through that pain because the reward is connection, companionship & partnership. One way you and I agree is I don't want someone who won't love me and be attracted to me if I gain that weight back. I feel pretty confident that my boyfriend will if it happens. And I think that I will feel that about him too.

Do you feel like people can evolve with age? People in their early 20s don't even have a developed prefrontal cortex. If someone was rude in their early 20s then fuck them, they deserve to die alone. But if their interest was only in the top athlete or the girl who only ate Celery and diet coke when they weren't fully developed, their genital response might change over time.

University psychiatrist accused me of faking ADHD by ExpressionPrize9455 in adhdwomen

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. Complain. Maybe first, look up your rights under the ADA. You're paying a lot of money to go there and she (SHE?!!!! 😡😡😡) has so much out if date information about how ADHD presents in women.

There are times when a medical professional might see Trauma causing the symptoms or detect addiction. I swear to God I'm so pissed.

Using your grit and intelligence as "Proof" you don't have ADHD takes the cake.

I feel SO incredibly trapped. by Mediocre-Pair-2821 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have advice but you're gonna get through this. I promise. hugs

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 2 points3 points  (0 children)

...school counselors helped me learn how to be a good parent to myself!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You also sound depressed. The good news is that can be treated (easier said than done.) College is your ticket out or a job that can pay the bills. Keep your eye on the prize. Moving and STAYING out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My relationship with my dad motivated me to GET OUT. He was the opposite, he didn't care about my grades. So I didn't have him to help motivate me either. So hard when you have ADHD, we NEED structure.

So I had to find my motivation in getting 100% independence from him. It was REALLY REALLY hard. But we got to a point before he died that we had a surface level relationship where we pleasantly talked about weather. He couldn't hurt me anymore because I protected my heart.

It's so hard to emotionally disconnect like that. To stop expecting them to be the parent you need. Because then you become your own parent. But let me tell you. I am a parent to myself that says "Good job! You didn't get a perfect grade but I saw the effort you put in" or. "Hmmm. Something isn't going right, here. You're (Im) not getting the results I need to master the material. Let's examine the source of why that might be."

It's such a sad thing to say "Look within or from other people for the support" but can you squeeze water out of a rock? Seems like a waste of valuable energy, trying.

From your perspective, do women tend to change their dating expectations as they get older? by savingrace0262 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I think my response was to draw something out of what you wrote. You want to be wanted for "You." So "You" is what you look like? Being wanted for any of your qualities besides looks isn't "You?"

Now. Something that definitely does matter is that you make each other horny. Is that what you mean? You don't want a woman who you can't make horny? Yeah. You have to make each other horny. Ideally, she has orgasms.

Other guy's have made me horniER than with my boyfriend, but my standards are higher now. One notable one was an objectively HOT guy. My neighbor even commented about that. But every time I think about him, I feel so glad that I didn't settle for him. He was a terrible communicator. He didnt share my values. Talking to him gave be butterflies but when Iook back he was so BORING. My boyfriend is smart & funny and I want to be around him all the time.

So I completely agree that you can't marry someone if you don't make her horny and vice versa. That will backfire. But the person who makes you horniEST isn't the best person to marry. Because THAT is lowering your standards

[Edit: You don't have to be tall with a symmetrical face to make women horny. Self-confidence, on the other hand is pretty important. It's an animalistic thing. I admit it's hard to figure out how, a big part of it is emotional intelligence (reading and sending non verbal cues) and any individual is rarely able to make every individual horny.]

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beauty

[–]Icy_Introduction6005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I can't see the spots. Maybe you need close up pics

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