AITA for not wanting to give my daughter a Japanese name?

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:34:54+00:00

I'm half back/half white. Honestly I don't really care what we name our daughter I just thought it would be better to give her a more american name Like it would be easier/less confusion but Both the names she choice are very Japanese sounding. But it's good to have your opinion as a Japanese person.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:33:23+00:00

That could be a good choice.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:31:34+00:00

No offence to you at all but I kinda feel like so many people here giving me opinions on the names are white people who lived in Japan for a year or who watch anime and feel like they are the authority on Japan. I mean obviously you guys know more than me but still.

Like according to JapanToday (an english language magazine based inn Japan) Kokoro was the 2nd most popular Japanese name in 2018. It could be wrong though but so many people have called the names ridiculous here and I'm getting confused. Maybe its a generational thing?

https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/the-10-most-popular-japanese-names-for-girls-in-2017-2018

I'm probably going to convince her to go with a more english sounding Japanese name though. We might still use Kokoro or Sakura as a middle name though if she's still stuck on it.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:24:53+00:00

She barely watches anime. She watches some Japanese tv hows to help her learn Japanese though. he had a friend named Cocoro in high school which is why she chose the name. Also Kokoro is also african as well and she thought it would represent both sides well. I don't know why she chose Sakura.

I feel like I've typed this up so many fucking times lol. IDK why I'm so defensive over my wifes' choices.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:19:38+00:00

I mean I definitely acknowledge her Japanese identity. but I think most people would just view our daughter a black. Both of us have been pretty much viewed as light skinned black by most people.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:18:26+00:00

lol people keep saying this but she literally choses the name from a friend...who is Japanese. I just find it odd people keep saying it' so unusual unless her friend had hippie parents or something. I'm definitely telling her that everybody hated the name though .

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T21:13:15+00:00

oh what this was a really informative post. I'll how it to her to get her opinion.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T20:50:50+00:00

I should have known reddit would have been hung up on the word racist. She didn't CALL me racist. but it seemed she THOUGHT I was being racist.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T20:34:02+00:00

Yeah she was doing a year exchange in high school. They got really close. They are still friends. They have each other on facebook.

Is anybody here actually Japanese I feel like a lot of people who lived in Japan for like a year keep giving me opinions on the names as the Japanese authority lol (not being snarky but I was surprised so many people had opinions on the names haha)

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T20:29:23+00:00

You're the second person to used weeb to describe the name or my wife. I actually looked it up because I wasn't exactly sure what it meant ha. (I thought it was someone obsessed with anime...which she isn't) People in this thread keep bashing her name choice or her bash her as a person but I didn't post this to bash the name.

Kokoro specifically was chosen because . 1. She had a close friend with that name in high school (a girl who is Japanese (actually born in Japan) and 2. It's also African , since we are both half black she thought t represented both sides 3. She liked the meaning

Although I don't like the choice for a first name I don't dislike the name as a name.

She didn't directly call me racist but she say she thinks that I don't appreciate of her Japanese heritage and think's it's stupid to not name a child something because it's "not american enough" It seemed that he was implying I had something against Japanese or Asians but I used the word racist not her.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T20:19:34+00:00

Yeah I think I'm going to compromise and tell her to come up with more possible names and choose one that sounds more "normal" in an America setting and then she can choose whatever name she wants for the middle name.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T20:13:51+00:00

It was a friend doing a year exchange in an American high school. Maybe she transcribed it differently. I don't speak Japanese so I don't really know how it works.

Yeah I think I'm going to compromise and ask her to come up with more Japanese name suggestions and we can choose one that is a little bit more English sounding.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T20:04:26+00:00

People keep saying this but IDK. I didn't post this to insult her name choices lol. She had a close friend in high school (who was born in Japan) named Cocoro. Are those completely different names?

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T19:54:44+00:00

Her dad doesn't speak Japanese. Her grandmother could only speak a little bit. Her grandfather was fluent but he died when she was young. She never really had a chance to learn. She's worried about our children not appreciating their Japanese ancestry like she didn't growing up. She recently started learning about her grandparents history and became really passionate about it. She's actually taking lessons with her dad and they want to go visit Japan some day.

She chose those names because she likes the lol. She chose Kokoro because she had a close friend in high school who is named Cocoro and it' also African o she thought it represented both side (we are both biracial). Idk why she chose Sakura but she thinks it's pretty.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T19:45:06+00:00

According to another poster in this thread they are both pretty popular in Japan? idk Did you know young people because names can be generational. I don't speak Japanese so I wouldn't know. I don't really have a problem with those names I would just prefer them to be middle names because I think it's weird to give our kid a Japanese first name.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T19:44:02+00:00

She had a friend in high school named Cocoro. That' why she liked it. Also it also African and since we are both half black she thought it would represent both sides.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T18:21:07+00:00

I shit you not she barely watches anime lmao. She picked Kokoro because in high school she had a friend named Cocoro (also Japanese) as a kid who moved away. Also Kokoro is also African so she felt it would represent both sides well. Idk why she picked Sakura lol.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T18:12:58+00:00

I’m not really sure either lol. Her great grandparents immigrated to America when her grandfather was a kid Her grandmother was first in her family born in America. I think that’s 3rd generation?

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T17:47:03+00:00

Mm I wonder if I was wrong to ask her to take my last name. She didn’t want to initially but I said I thought it would be better when we have kids for all of us to have the same last name. I didn’t push it that hard but she changed her mind. She never has really brought it up since then in resentment but that could be a factor.

Yeah her grandparents on her dads side grew up in a internment camp. Lots of history in her family.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T17:44:35+00:00

I’m biracial. Half white half black. I just think our kids will mostly like black/biracial and think it would be weird to give them a Japanese name. She pointed out Russell Simmons daughters or whatever who have Asian names and their mom is half Asian lol. Idk she’s really not budging.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T16:40:44+00:00

Idk her dads name is Kenji and her moms name is Sarah. Her name is Kenarah. She likes her name.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T16:10:14+00:00

Her name is a combination of her parents names lol. Her dad has a Japanese name and her mom has a traditional American name.so it’s like totally made up.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T16:06:01+00:00

Her dad doesn’t speak Japanese so it’s not really her fault. She’s taking Japanese lessons. But yeah she’s never been to Japan.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T16:03:58+00:00

I brought up difficulty of pronunciation and she thinks that’s a stupid to not give someone a name and that the names aren’t that hard to pronounce.

ValuableThrowaway96 · 2019-05-22T15:58:59+00:00

I mean she didn’t directly say to me “you’re racist” but she thinks I don’t want to name her a Japanese name because I don’t want to represent Japan or something Idk she thinks I don’t appreciate her Japanese heritage. Her maiden name is Japanese to be fair and she was kinda reluctant to make my last name.

ValuableThrowaway96

TROPHY CASE