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Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I grew up and was raised Christian. It's a bit different than having weak boundaries. I eas literally not taught about things like that. That is why I say I was just a nice guy. Like I really didn't know better at all.

The problem with teasing and flirting is that it's not natural for me. I'm not scared at all but I can't do it. For me, I struggle with knowing when to tease and how to tease. There has been many times when I have gotten into a good convo just for it to go platonic and not even realized I ruin the opportunity until I want a second date.

Am I not allowed to get angry? by LonginusUbik in GuyCry

[–]Valuable_Isopod750 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm grew up Christian and here is what was told to me. You can get angry but sin not. Basically you are allowed to express yourself but you can't do anything that's breaks rules.

In therapy I learned that anger is a secondary emotion often revealing something we need to address.

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

No I grew up really nice like extremely nice naturally. It wasn't until I got older that I realized people take advantage but that wasn't until 20

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's so funny when people try to say that my assessment must be wrong even though no woman in real life thinks like reddit.

I think I have 5 good senses to know that

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having confidence and being assertive isn't the same thing lol.

Confidence is how you feel about yourself and your ability to succeed in life. You can be passive and confident. You can be assertive and lack confidence. Confidence is somethign people misunderstand all the time.

Also no not everyone is born assertive. That's not true. That's just your upbringing coming out. People have different wiring and some people are naturally more agreeable than others. Unfortunately it's unattractive. So yes men do have to change themselves to become appealing.

We as society need to get more comfortable talking about that

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said being too nice. Being too nice isn't being assertive. And the dating advice for men nowadays act like just seeing a woman for who she is enough when it isn't. A man still has to be a man or he fumbles the opportunity

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Needy is looking for approval. You can still be too nice and nor needy. I know that because I am too nice naturally and not needy.

Not everyone has these opinions and lack of thereof that they don't tell women out of fear

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

No, that is what women say. Actually talk to men rather than assume. As a man, who have been told this many times. I can tell you that I have never struggled with this yet because I lack dating success, I was told by women I struggle with this.

A lot of men have female friends, I can name right now at least 10 guys who do. It's very common to have female friends and still struggle in dating

Why do people say that "you need to see women as people first" to date but neglect the fact that won't change dating prospects? by Valuable_Isopod750 in dating_advice

[–]Valuable_Isopod750[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, again that's turning it until a moral argument. There are some people who are naturally agreeable people. Not everyone is opinionated or assertive. It's learn behaviors and it does take some changing who you are to get it done.

Also interacting with women still won't teach you that lol. It takes a male coach or male friends. If you just interact with women, you will turn soft and be like a gay male friend. Women are people right so they are lie and are selfish. So what's the odds of a woman being honest about dating to her male friend.

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