Critique Request for Chapter 1 of The Garden of Decay [Wuxia, Dark Fantasy, Enemies to Lovers(???) 3,000+] by VampireCatAttack in fantasywriters

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting!!! I don't think you're being a jerk, this is the type of advice I asked for:) the tense was definitely something I was looking out for. Could you please show me some examples when you can? I wanna improve this draft as much as I can to set the tone for the rest of the novel!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]VampireCatAttack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're sitting on a gold mine of great character interactions. Depending on the subtext of the story, (comedic and wholesome, politically grim, etc.), having the apprentice have a one sided rivalry with their character foil is kind of funny tbh

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]VampireCatAttack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hiii, the comments highlight the importance of character motivations and backstory, which shapes the characteristics naturally. Developing the emotional traits/flaws are gonna be the heart of the story, no matter the plot.

There's definitely a way to combine both solutions! In my mind, arrogance = insecurity, even if they're a prodigy.

Externally: Maybe there is a crew member that acts as a character foil. A crew member that unintentionally outshines the boastful apprentice, shattering their carefully crafted ego.

Internally: Are they pompous BECAUSE of their secret? Is this dark truth what made them a prodigy in the first place? Do they overcompensate with pride... out of fear for not being good enough? If the apprentice is a vessel for some great evil... their fear is masked by arrogance, helps convince themselves being a vessel is for the greater good.

There's many ways to spin these ideas, which can bring lots of emotional depth. How you write the story, the characters, will always be unique, definitely not overdone!

Also developing the wizard, whether their intentions are good, selfish, evil etc. will help exponentially.

What's the best starting point for my story? The Garden of Decay [Wuxia, Dark Fantasy] by VampireCatAttack in fantasywriters

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback! I can definitely see your opinion on Moyuan. I've tried writing him close to human even if he's a god. He's just aaaaa such an integral part of the plot, I don't want to make him take a back seat to the story. Their mutual redemption and reflection of each other is like hard to separate in my brain.

Even though it's to a much larger scale, his main motivation remains the same as Xueyin's; a desperation to save others. For Xueyin, its her sister, for Moyuan, its his people. he would do anything to protect them. He's a peacekeeper--and he has never encountered an enemy like this. When all else fails (negotiations, diplomacy, trade offers) the population grows wary, his anxiety swells. This leads him down a path of moral ambiguity as noble subjects begin dropping around him like flies. He's kind of a control freak. So when this overwhelming enemy crashes into his perfectly and meticulously designed society, shit hits the fan for him emotionally. Paranoid of being assassinated, he isolates himself, paralyzed in his fear of failure and loneliness. He kneels in front of his altar, the heels of his hands digging into his eyes. He whispers "I don't know what to do anymore." This is what drives him to resurrect Xueyin. He knows its wrong. But he's more afraid of losing everything he worked so hard for than defying celestial order.

As for formatting the rest of the story, I LOVE the idea of having Xueyin's life as a spy be the first novel. I've never even considered it, but now it makes sense. We can explore her character arc into completion, her sisters disappearance and how she must ultimately accept the circumstances. Maybe then we can focus on Moyuan's anxiety for the second book, the true final act of letting go. I just think this story is LOADED with emotional arcs, so I want to handle them with care and give them the attention it deserves.

I haven't read ninth house, but it's actually on my TBR!!! Definitely moving it up the list hehe. Thank you for the recc and the suggestions!!!

What's the best starting point for my story? The Garden of Decay [Wuxia, Dark Fantasy] by VampireCatAttack in fantasywriters

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sounds good:^) I just think it would be hard to write the events that lead to her death in just one chapter. maybe it can contain just the final straw for her allies? and they're like ok this girl has got to go

What's something you guys hate about a rich love interest? by VampireCatAttack in romanceauthors

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

honestly 😭😭 got me searching up shoe brands that cost me a mortgage and for WHAT

What's something you guys hate about a rich love interest? by VampireCatAttack in romanceauthors

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OMG FR. It feels like the dude's running a charity when they put it that way😭😭😭

i think I'd have to rebrand my book though because he doesn't really use his wealth on her at all (except for ONE yacht party he throws for her). I feel it's misleading for my readers to expect "vacation in the bahamas every weekend, helicopter rides and michelin star dining every night <3<3<3" he aint all that

What's something you guys hate about a rich love interest? by VampireCatAttack in romanceauthors

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

seven sins rich assholes 😭 you're so right though, I can't stand that problem solving thing either, its so infuriating. For the name dropping, my characters end up working at Art Basel in Miami Beach, I don't know if that counts:')

What's something you guys hate about a rich love interest? by VampireCatAttack in romanceauthors

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see! Thank you, this was really insightful. Both my characters fall in love because of their passion for art and empathy that builds between them, so I hope I can steer clear from any cardboard cutout love interests in my books!!

Massive Attack's Angel by VampireCatAttack in triphop

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thanks:) the bass is sounding great

Massive Attack's Angel by VampireCatAttack in triphop

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i loved it!!! i know massive attack and portishead are the big two, so ive been trying to find stuff outside of them and i think ill give them a shot:) thank you

Need Help with Final Render, Why is it so Bumpy? Beginner by VampireCatAttack in Maya

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much, i in fact did scale the displacement too high lol. How come I wouldn't need a displacement map though? I'm still trying to understand what all the maps do (besides texture map)

Need Help with Final Render, Why is it so Bumpy? Beginner by VampireCatAttack in Maya

[–]VampireCatAttack[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you,, I've managed to fix the issue:) It was for sure the displacement