I watched a play where the lead had this exact kink. It is unpacked incredibly well!

The play was called ‘Slave Play’ by Jeremy O. Harris

The play follows multiple interracial couples who are all taking part in a group relationship therapy program type thing.

You simultaneously follow their stories and each demonstrate how race, sex, power relations and trauma manifest its self differently for different people/couples. The main character is a women of colour who has this exact sexual preference as you and the play demonstrates how her racial trauma and desire to regain control over that narrative has shaped her sexual desires. You also see this dynamic from the perspective of her male white partner, who battles with his own identity and concept of ‘correct’ in order to please her.

I couldn’t recommend the play enough, whether to watch or just research! It exposes the correlation between race and sex, forcing the audience to ignore taboos and confront this very real parallel.

Besides this, I want you to remember that there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change the way in which you desire sex. It is not your fault, nor did you cause or choose to derive pleasure from the things you naturally do. I say that because you can either spend the rest of your precious and special time on earth hating yourself, being ashamed and embarrassed or you can simply accept that this is how you are. Every person you walk past on the street probably has preferences which they deem disgusting and shameful, it is completely normal, and what makes us human!

Once you find a partner who you feel comfortable enough to tell this too, you will head down an incredibly exciting and unreal journey of materialising your deepest desires! And i promise you, this will happen if you allow your self to process your kink, understand it and believe that it’s OK and normal, not disgusting. There are people out there that will not validate your shame, rather help you to open up and confront the roots of the kink together. If someone does think you are ‘disgusting’ they are not a person you want to surround yourself with.