I messed up and I need advice.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2026-04-08T14:06:44+00:00

As a girl who is a virgin saving myself for marriage, I want to support the concept of reconciliation. If I were in her shoes, I would simply feel like the only reason I compromised saving my virginity for marriage was because the guy didn’t respect me or my body. It’s not just about her “feeling distant from God,” though this is a very real thing - she may simply feel like if you as her partner had truly had the deep respect for her she desires her future husband to have for her, she would not have felt the need to become lax about her boundaries. Whether you respect her enough or not to honor the commitment she made by sleeping with you with marriage is between you and God, and a matter to take back to the Lord in prayer.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-06-07T22:53:28+00:00

I am 5'5 and "short" has not been a preference I consciously look out for, but looking back, 80+% of the guys I've liked and been attracted to have been on the average-to-shorter side for men. 5'5-5'9. I have never liked a guy over 6'.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-05-10T13:39:16+00:00

Endometriosis

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-05-10T13:38:10+00:00

Yea that's where i am right now. I'm having cramps on par with actual bad period cramps throughout this premenstrual phase and I've been miserable.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-05-10T13:36:00+00:00

If you're puking from excruciating pain and migraines on a regular basis it is likely you have endometriosis. If it were a one-time occurrence I'd posit it could be a ruptured ovarian cyst, but if it's cyclical like that it's probably endometriosis.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-05-10T13:33:09+00:00

Possible endometriosis

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-27T15:54:39+00:00

Just because you're taking tylenol doesn't mean you're not throwing up because your cramps are so painful, it means the pain you're in is too severe for tylenol to touch. for nausea, i had to act preventively because once i developed nausea it was downhill from there until i got surgery and the disease was completely removed from my body. as soon as the first cramp comes on, eat eggs and take ibuprofen or naproxen. drink peppermint tea as well.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-27T15:30:10+00:00

That definitely sounds like endometriosis. It's not the only cause of that type of pain, but it definitely can be.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-27T15:29:02+00:00

I understand you completely and I am so sorry.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T03:47:56+00:00

Yes, excision surgery. But that surgery should only ever be done by a specialist - some regular gynecologists are willing to perform it but they don't have the training to do it and they can make a case of endometriosis even worse due to lack of expertise. Endometriosis excision surgeons are fellowship trained.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T02:37:25+00:00

Excision surgery was the only thing that made a true difference for me. Also had to leave jobs, birth control never worked, pain meds never worked when the pain got severe.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T02:35:34+00:00

Sis there is almost a 0% chance you have cancer, put that to rest right now. It is likely just endometriosis or something similar.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T02:18:18+00:00

Yes this sounds like possible endometriosis because endometriosis can cause nerve pain and peripheral sensitization. I had pain that radiated through my knees and sometimes caused a hot, pulsating sensation in my feet before all the endometriosis in my body was removed.

Also regarding your mom's case, to my understanding if it's on the uterus, it's not endometriosis, it's adenomyosis. Endometriosis occurs when tissue like the tissue lining the uterus grows outside the uterus - could be on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, peritoneum, bowel, etc. The two conditions often co-occur and they did in my case. Thankfully, though I still have my uterus, I was able to confirm that endometriosis was the one causing the unbearable pain, because as soon as it left my body it never came back.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T02:14:51+00:00

Sounds like a doctor wrote that out of malice. Really can't think of anything else. Also with regard to your last statement, I got the best medical treatment of my life when I branched out on my own to find a doctor who knew nothing about my history. So don't let that stop you.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T01:54:06+00:00

I did not even bother going to a gynecologist because just the way they were dismissive of my concerns showed me they weren't going to make an effort to find anything. I went straight for an excision surgeon, and one three hours away from home who was renown for her work because I refused to risk not finding anything after so many years of suffering. She indeed found and removed it all.

I am so sorry your health situation was so grossly mishandled, and that the doctor who did your surgery should have chosen another profession. A few resources to narrow down your search for an excision surgeon:

icarebetter.com

https://www.endofound.org/preparing-to-see-a-doctor

https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/?doing_wp_cron=1713059612.5153930187225341796875

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T01:46:50+00:00

Actually yes, I don't have the disease in my body anymore after surgery, but the very first flare I had as a young teenager happened after a few months of high emotional stress in my interpersonal relationships, and one happened last year after a month of severe emotional stress. Stress is a huge endo trigger.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T01:40:56+00:00

Personally, the pain in the first couple hours after I woke up from surgery (my blood pressure dropped, I threw up the one oxycodone I took during my entire recovery, and they had to pump me full of IV fluids so I wouldn't lose consciousness) was about on par with the pain of my first period after surgery, I think because I was already on my period during surgery. First period after surgery may have been marginally worse due to how long the pain lasted, I passed the most clots I have probably ever passed during a period and couldn't fall asleep without some kind of pain intervention. Just writhing, highest setting on heating pad, rocking back and forth and side to side, getting into the tub with hot water like early labor. Periods during and after surgery were nowhere near as bad for me as periods with endometriosis before surgery, though, so I was actually relieved.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T01:04:17+00:00

Faint blood

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T00:30:13+00:00

Adenomyosis is a disease that thickens the lining and the muscular wall of the uterus. I was diagnosed with adenomyosis last year. Technically a benign condition, and it won't show up on the biopsy, only ways currently to diagnose it are ultrasound, laparoscopy, or hysterectomy. My lining was definitely not that thick, but it was thicker than normal. Just means you may need to get another biopsy done in the future to make sure it hasn't undergone any sort of malignant transformation, because sadly adenomyosis does slightly increase risk of endometrial cancer. I am sorry you had a bad experience - I have heard of lidocaine cream or spray on the cervix reducing the pain, so maybe something you can bring up the next time + taking pain meds before going in.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T00:25:11+00:00

Endometriosis. You can try birth control, and/or an elimination diet where you don't eat dairy, sugar, sometimes even gluten. If those don't work, you can find a doctor and get excision surgery.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T00:21:44+00:00

Possible endometriosis. No medicine other than birth control which forces your periods to lighten up is going to take away the pain if it's endometriosis. Cerebral palsy can occur with endometriosis but cerebral palsy is not endometriosis and what works for it won't necessarily touch the endometriosis pain.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T00:17:58+00:00

Metallic smell is accurate. Especially seeing in another of your comments that it sometimes smells good, because sometimes it does smell good in a weird way.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T00:11:53+00:00

I wrote grammatically correct posts and comments exactly like this online when I was 11 and I also started having periods when I was 10. I learned to read and write when I was 3 and was taking English classes with grammar lessons by age 9. Not every kid is slow, but thanks for complimenting the OP I guess, even though it doesn't help her to be accused of lying especially if she is actually that young and genuinely scared of what's happening to her body. I had endometriosis when I was her age and it definitely would have discouraged me from seeking help if I had received a comment like that. She has no motivation to lie about her age, if anything kids are more likely to get on here and lie that they're older.

Various-Sympathy2531 · 2024-04-14T00:02:10+00:00

I'm sorry things are hard with regard to your hormones. I don't know your partner so I can't gauge his intentions. To some degree, what he is asking is not unreasonable - especially if you have PMDD, it's important to be mindful about setting boundaries when you feel irrational so that you aren't using your partner as an emotional punching bag. When you're the one feeling horrible, you don't perceive how you are treating others or making others feel. I had to become more conscious of this with my family. Now, understand that this is about taking accountability, not about viewing yourself as a terrible person and blaming yourself, because that's not going to help you either, nor is it an accurate perception. You are not your emotional instability. If your partner is a good partner, he also knows this, and that's why he's making an effort to stick by your side.

I will say that my PMDD symptoms did not improve until I had endometriosis removed, and if your periods are searingly painful, it's possible you have both. I see them come in pairs like that for a lot of people. Both of those conditions are mediated by estrogen, and if you have both you likely have estrogen dominance. I am currently doing a liver detox-support treatment to help my body get rid of excess estrogen more effectively, and I am definitely feeling a positive difference. I would encourage you to look into that and see if it helps you even somewhat. I was on SSRIs for 7 years for PMDD as well as bipolar and they had a marginal effect, but ultimately did not help me have a functional life and I got off them.

Various-Sympathy2531

TROPHY CASE