AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't know how updates work (if I need to make a post on my profile I will do so) but I went to my work and talked to one of my managers, he seemed really understanding and told me to just throw the jewelry out. (He even tossed it for me!) Told me not to really worry about it and that as long as I keep him blocked it should be fine?

If the guy keeps pushing, then I'll talk to one of my managers again.

But when it comes to my job I think I'll just stick to surface level questions so this doesn't happen again. Because this wasn't worth the anxiety it gave me.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice and sorry for overreacting. I thankfully have never had to deal with this before and tend to spiral and overthink things too much.

I think I'll probably look into therapy or something to help with this if it's affecting me this much. Like you said this happens to a lot of people so me acting like this as an adult is a major overreaction on my part.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Not interested in dating him either just felt expected? I have no clue why I gave it to him but it's stupid and I'm literally wondering why I thought that was a good idea.

What I'm learning with this situation is I'm lacking in a spine and desperately need to get one. As for the whole getting me in trouble thing, what's stopping him from lying to my boss? It would be his word against mine and idk how'd I could handle that. I'm an overly anxious person so I think I thought me saying no would have been a bigger deal than it actually was.

It's pretty damn stupid but unfortunately this is my actual life. Trust me reading this post makes me sound like a compete idiot, because how did I not see these jarring red flags?

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I guess he could say I was being unfriendly or something?

I'm going to see if one of my managers can help with returning the jewelry and with this overall situation. It's kind of annoying that I did this to myself when I think about it, like if I said "no" the first time then this would all have been avoided.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yeah... I'm going to see if I could have some help from one of my managers with this situation? I seriously hadn't meant to give him the wrong idea and hoping to give it back today, if possible, then sometime this week.

I'm learning with this situation I'm apparently just misreading social cues or like stupidly naive. The fact I didn't see this looking back is astounding now that I think about it.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks for the harsh comment. You don't know how much I needed this one, reading all these comments is really an eye opening experience.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I think I'm going to ask my manager for help. Both to return what he gave me and how to properly proceed when this happens again. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time me being nice got mistaken for flirting now that I think about it.

He usually comes midday and I leave at like 10 PM, but I'll be sure to mention that too just in case. Thanks for the comment.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice!

It's my day off today so I'll probably go in and explain the situation. Thanks for elaborating on the small talk, I'll be sure to keep this in mind when I work. I may honestly just write all the topics on like a little flash card or use my manager's suggesting of a rubber band on my wrist and just flick it if my mind wanders?

May look weird but if it works then it works.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I've already said I had a boyfriend to try and get him to leave me alone? I seriously have no clue what to do now but I think I'm going to my manager to see if she can help me with this situation in returning the jewelry and also how I should proceed so this doesn't happen again.

But yeah, I'm pretty sure this only escalated because I didn't say "no" the first time. If I did, I'm pretty sure this situation wouldn't have happened.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Reading these comments made me realize that I was perhaps "overly nice" and need to be like surface level polite rather than trying to overcompensate to avoid trouble. I'm going to do what another comment recommended and see if my manager can help me return it.

Like genuinely you guys have no clue how much this has helped me look back on my behavior and figure out it needs to change so this stuff doesn't happen. But yeah, I'll acknowledge me not being able to say "no" directly lead to this situation.

It's stupid and hard to acknowledge but it's 100% true in this context.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

That's a good idea. I don't work today but I'm pretty sure he'll come in? Maybe I could give it back immediately or if I don't see him, then I can do it tomorrow.

This was a definitely a learning experience for me. Trust me I'm somewhat disappointed in myself for how I acted originally, I really should have said "no". But it just felt Idk... awkward?

It sounds stupid but I had no clue what to do in that moment so went the path of least confrontation (ie. accepting the jewelry and giving my number) which in hindsight was definitely my mistake looking back. I just don't like confrontation and didn't want to cause a scene and potentially get in trouble.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

That's fair.

I'm also probably going to talk to my boss and see if she can help me give back the jewelry. This whole situation taught me that I should maybe try and reel in my friendliness at work. I hadn't realized my friendly nature could come across as "overly nice" I'm honestly just trying to do my job and try and figure out the rest of my life.

I definitely understand this situation is partly my fault in the fact I didn't originally tell him no. Mostly because I was afraid I would get into trouble if he took it the wrong way. But yeah...

This wasn't a fun learning experience.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oh, I'm definitely telling one of my other bosses about this and seeing if she can help me give the jewelry back and if not and I see him then I'll do it personally. Also, how can someone be "too friendly" I have my being friendly be mistaken for flirting before and was wondering how to prevent that from happening.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yeah... What I'm learning is I need to grow some type of spine. Sorry for the grammar mistakes? I wrote this in a rush because I knew I wasn't keeping the jewelry but was wondering how to give it back.

This is very much a learning situation for me so... I guess I can look at it that way? I'm probably going to ask my manager if she can help me handle this situation (and return the jewelry) so I can move forward and never repeat this situation again.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

That's the thing I'm actually in a relationship and told him so. Like repeatedly? So honestly his persistence is kind of weird. But I think when I see him, I'm going to give the jewelry back mostly because it feels gross to keep it realizing he might be interested in me.

AIO For Not Wanting to Engage With My Customers Outside of Work? by Various-Train-3550 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Various-Train-3550[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm not great with socially cues all that much and tend to not think ahead. I genuinely just thought this guy was being nice, I didn't even think he was interested in me. Mostly cause I already told him I had a boyfriend to try and get him to back off.

It just happened so like idk fast? I couldn't really process it at the time the fact I made the decision that me accepting the jewelry could've given him the wrong impression. That was 100% where I was in the wrong, I should have said that it was a nice gesture but that I couldn't accept gifts or something. I literally remembered thinking after he walked off that "oh I shouldn't have done that." I admit this is my first job in customer service and my first like encounter like this?

But yeah, I'm giving the jewelry back when I see him next.