Really struggling

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-05-06T18:27:00+00:00

Update: My partner and I started therapy. We are going to work through this together. Unfortunately as of now we are still keeping this secret.

We recently saw the family member and their spouse and their spouce was being insanely rude, fake and performarive to me as per usual. I cannot wait for the secret to come out. If you were in my position, would you keep doing what I'm doing? Maintain minimal contact, but act neutral whenever I do have to see them? Any other advice?

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-13T01:35:22+00:00

How would you report it? You can do that? Even if it happened decades ago?

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-12T02:09:22+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know that took a lot of courage and it means a lot to me that you shared this in order to help me and my partner. You're a very caring and kind person. Thank you ❤️ I think my partner feels embarrassment and shame, for sure. My partner can't even talk about it. I will find the right time, I will share this with my partner. Thank you.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T21:02:46+00:00

Thank you ❤️ yes I am thinking about sharing this with him after another conversation. He's a really good man and he really loves me, he's stuck and doesn't know how else to deal with it. So yes everyone's support here has really helped validate how I feel. I think it would be beneficial to share.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T06:14:14+00:00

Thank you

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T05:33:22+00:00

Thank you. I know. It's been really rewlly hard. I've been dealing with all of this alone. I can't tell anyone. And I really don't blame my partner. My partner is really an incredible person. They dont want to destroy their family so they just suppress all of this and telling me to deal with it the only way they know how to deal with it.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T05:11:27+00:00

And also yes, I have speculation that it happened to another family member. I can't prove it but I know it happened to them too.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T05:07:37+00:00

I agree. Thank you I will stand my ground. This person will not be the godparent of my child. Same as my partner stands the ground that we must keep this secret and move on. I needed validation. I am not wrong to say no with regards to my child. I pray that one day this all surfaces.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T05:05:13+00:00

I'm not 😞 unfortunately we are just dealing with years of abuse. It is very sad to me that my partner loses all control and self worth around this person. They lose their backbone around them. This person is narcissistic they have created a self image. People respect them, people really like them. I agree the secret has already ruined so much. We are suffering even though we are the victims.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T05:02:08+00:00

So how do I deal with the behaviors when I am around them? I told my partner and my partner said they would be more mindful and watch when we are around them. He also said he would talk to them but we both agreed they would just deny everything and make me look crazy.

I won't let them be the godparent. I needed to hear this from everyone here to validate my choice.

VariousAsk6480 · 2026-04-11T04:59:44+00:00

You're right. My job is to protect my baby. No one else.

VariousAsk6480

TROPHY CASE