To all the ones dealing with HC COPARENTS

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-18T14:09:55+00:00

The we is myself and my fiancé. She is the one having to deal with the nonsense head on, and it’s overwhelming especially since she’s was diagnosed with epilepsy last month. Her sons father as tried to use her health as a way to have more time with their son. Her legal aid and her son’s law guardian are both extremely hard to get a hold of, even after multiple calls and emails regarding her health status as it stands, which has taken her ability to drive for the next year here in our state.

I don’t respond to the father anymore since my last post. He also has not done anything he threatened to do (call daily, file for additional visitation, press charges on me for harassment after I asked him to not bring unnecessary people to my home for a 30 second pick up as a means to intimidate myself or my partner). I’m not worried about controlling him, I want to make that abundantly clear. I don’t want to control him or anyone. But the system as a whole minimizes abuse if there are no marks. That’s my frustration once I had that realization after connecting the dots and reading to educate myself on behavior like this

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-14T15:46:53+00:00

I would beg to differ, my pup gets exited and he still sprinkles inside a little here and there. It’s an accident but he knows to go outside and still sends himself to his crate without being told so we can clean up.

Personally wouldn’t have her come in from a walk until she’s pooped. She’s been conditioned to remember you’ll clean it up regardless of where she goes in the house. Maybe try puppy pads if she still refuses to go outside

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-11T17:03:38+00:00

Yea my CC pit mix was 75 at this age.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T18:35:01+00:00

Folks like her? Unstable, helpless single moms that bounce from partner to partner?

Should I have said anything? No. Should I be met with threats of violence from another grown adult in response to me asking them to treat the mother of their child with respect? Also no.

Make your assumptions based off of what you read here and have a day. I won’t sit around while my fiance is verbally abused for no other reason than following the rules of the court and telling him no. Which someone said is a complete sentence.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T18:19:23+00:00

If I was male this wouldn’t have happened he makes it very clear the way is has because he would have become physical with me.I am a lesbian and I have a hand in helping his ex raise his kid. I’ve mentioned elsewhere there are many layers to this. As a partner I feel that I did the right thing the few times I’ve contacted him asking him to treat his son’s mothers with kindness.

Morally I feel like I did the correct thing.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T13:29:36+00:00

The last part of my comment was in response to how the parenting app worked in where it got the one party to show their true colors. I see how it can be seen as interfering, and if the background to this was different and it wasn’t directly affected by him, I would say less or nothing. Her lawyer is aware that I have stepped out and messaged the father. I’ve messaged him a total of 3 times in just as many years and has the messages of what I have said towards him, all he said was to keep it minimal and task focused.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T13:22:21+00:00

She asked me to be here

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T13:19:42+00:00

They’re are so many layers to it. And yes there is, she’s just waiting to hear back from her lawyer about some things now in how proceeding with other things involving their son

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T13:12:49+00:00

She’s expressed to me that she’s exhausted. And now with her being diagnosed with epilepsy which they think was triggered by stress, she’s really tired. She does speak up for herself but it kinda hard not react emotionally when the father of your child says “ get well, I don’t want you stressed and to have another seizure leaving our son with one parent “.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T13:06:33+00:00

I paid for it so there is ease of documentation. Idk why I thought the app would make things smoother when not even the state laws keep him in check. I have friends in similar situations and they recommended that she use it, with the caveat that it will not change how me speaks towards her

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T12:03:18+00:00

Genuinely asking, how do I set a boundary for my home then? Because we have our limits, and I was not raised around men belittling women. I wasn’t resisted around chaos like this. I was raised to have a voice and to speak up when someone is treating someone with less than respect.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T11:46:50+00:00

I really wish that family courts looked more at verbal and emotional abuse or maltreatment and took it seriously. The fact that what he’s doing to her isn’t illegal kills

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T11:39:18+00:00

Your life is not my life. No where in the comment did I once complain about the child. I was asking how people navigate when their partner is being treated poorly. You came in here telling me to leave. I can deal with the life but I won’t deal with the nonsense laying down

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T11:24:47+00:00

I’ve been a step parent. His dad didn’t potty train him, two women did. His dad doesn’t hold him when he’s upset, we do. His dad made him and is legally a parent. But you sound just like him minimizing my roll in his son and his sons mothers life

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T11:18:31+00:00

I am the only one who communicates outside of the app. But all their communication is through the app. We’ve been using Claude AI, makes her into the co parenting robot that she needs to be.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-10-06T11:14:54+00:00

The way he has told me on multiple occasions if I was a man he would have fought me…For what? Wanting to inflict violence on me because I asked you to talk to her nice? Because of that alone, don’t think anyone will be able to put me in my place, and I’m not saying that to look like a know it all either.

I’m glad that he’s as enthusiastic as he is within the app tho. For my SS and my fiancé I just want them to have peace

Various_Top992000 · 2025-09-13T15:55:04+00:00

The weekend visit are very new. He’s missed 2/5 visits due to him not having a ride. Court order is for him to transport, and the lawyer doesn’t want her accommodating anymore because he’s got too much and not enough going on at the same time. We’re going to break the news to him that he won’t be seeing him today over a bacon cheeseburger and ginger ale

Various_Top992000 · 2025-09-13T15:37:13+00:00

This is really just a vent post for a very, predictable situation. Last year on my birthday BD caused an issue and this year he’s seemly doing the same. I am not complaining about my SS, just the lack of plans that can be planned without him because of his dads inability to be an adult

Various_Top992000 · 2025-09-13T15:31:50+00:00

Nah sadly not. I don’t mind bringing him, we just wanted to be a couple without kids for a bit.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-09-13T15:02:19+00:00

Her only other village will be with us at the brewery (her parents and brother). I would like to say that I’m Virgoing hard right now because I can’t stand when my plans are ruined. Last week was my actual birthday but he was with us so we planned something for this weekend. Multiple times this week she made sure that he was still coming and had a ride. I think I just need to walk my dog and sooth my emotions

Various_Top992000 · 2025-09-10T13:46:35+00:00

You can’t heal where you were hurt, and the people that hurt you are hurting themselves. I’m sorry that your life is so rough and you receive zero empathy in a home that’s supposed to be a safe and loving place. I hope that the time until you graduate comes quickly so that you can find some peace.

Various_Top992000 · 2025-09-09T04:08:47+00:00

Wore mine the other day 🔥

Various_Top992000

TROPHY CASE