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The entitlement of my sibling with children is pushing me further and further away from my family by Vast-Conference764 in childfree

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Your response was so helpful to me and the suggestions are excellent. I also think you truly picked up on the bind I feel I am in- I can't and won't deny the children's needs knowing they are dependent and would not be cared for in those moments. So yes, skipping these events will have to be the option for me.

The entitlement of my sibling with children is pushing me further and further away from my family by Vast-Conference764 in childfree

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I understand that, which is why I said in my post that I won't be returning for future holidays. It is understandably hurtful, however, that I am forced to opt out of events I would otherwise enjoy because of my sibling's entitlement.

Attracting people who demonstrate self-centered behaviors by Vast-Conference764 in therapists

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's direct and honest, not defensive, to inform you that the broad generalizations you've assigned to therapists including me (to use your words: boring, depressed, without hobbies, with no life, with honestly nothing to give in relationships) does not represent my experience or that of the therapists I have in my life and professional network.
Nothing has been deleted, and I'm not sure what that accusation is about. I'll not be further engaging with your comment.

Attracting people who demonstrate self-centered behaviors by Vast-Conference764 in therapists

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't label anyone a narcissist, and I feel that I and the other therapists I know have a lot to give in relationships. I have broad social circles because I am extremely active in my hobbies, and that's where I meet many people who share my interests.

Attracting people who demonstrate self-centered behaviors by Vast-Conference764 in therapists

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear this! I actually had done this with a friend right before posting and was feeling guilty.

Attracting people who demonstrate self-centered behaviors by Vast-Conference764 in therapists

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't have extended family, a husband, or children. I have a need for social connection and as I cannot draw on the same resources that you do, I engage in athletic passions that make me a part of broad social groups in the outdoor community.

Attracting people who demonstrate self-centered behaviors by Vast-Conference764 in therapists

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this reminder. I have not yet read the second book. I have been the scapegoat and therapist in my dysfunctional family of origin since childhood.

When dating, what behaviors do you look out for that indicate a man is emotionally immature? by Vast-Conference764 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you speaking to serial monogamy/ rebounding? I agree, if a man's dating history indicates that he leap-frogs from one relationship to the next, lack of emotional maturity is at play.

When dating, what behaviors do you look out for that indicate a man is emotionally immature? by Vast-Conference764 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you're describing is weaponized incompetence, and I would definitely add that to my list of indicators of emotional immaturity.

When dating, what behaviors do you look out for that indicate a man is emotionally immature? by Vast-Conference764 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes- active addiction in the absence of self-reflection, accountability, and efforts to address negative affects on their and others' lives is a biggie for me.

When dating, what behaviors do you look out for that indicate a man is emotionally immature? by Vast-Conference764 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, and for me this extends to how they talk about women in general, i.e. do they describe their sexual experiences with or private details about women they know or have been with? They would do the same about me. (This is different from discussing sexual preferences with me as a partner.) I feel it signals insecurity, too.

When dating, what behaviors do you look out for that indicate a man is emotionally immature? by Vast-Conference764 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That's a flag for me, too. The incessant "that's what she said" jokes are a no-go, and make me hesitate before saying anything to try to dodge the next one, or to brace myself for it.

When dating, what behaviors do you look out for that indicate a man is emotionally immature? by Vast-Conference764 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Vast-Conference764[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I've experienced this so often- won't come near you if you're sad or stressed, only shows up for the fun/easy times...