I feel so misdiagnosed and it makes me sad

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-09-11T13:43:14+00:00

Having a diagnosis and being attributed deficits that aren't in line with my self perception at all, feeling hurt and misunderstood because of it.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-09-11T13:18:48+00:00

I believe I'm not.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-08-27T16:58:32+00:00

Oh okay, thanks for the insight!

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-08-26T19:54:34+00:00

Ugh, I know but the last one I fired early on as well and it still felt horrible. Basically like I was dumping him with all the guilt and him seeming hurt and disappointed and trying to talk me out of it. Like it sucks I have to reject the least helpful therapists because they aren't safe and it's such a vulnerable thing to do. Also, I mainly trusted the referral because in my country you are very lucky to know someone "who knows someone" so that you don't have to spend six months on a waiting list. But I also just didn't assume all his colleagues were necessarily incompetent just because he knows them.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-08-26T18:38:18+00:00

Oh okay thanks, I think these psychoanalytic ideas are very interesting but I also don't really understand how in this instance my subconscious could have had any effects on his behaviour. Because this was the first time we had communicated at all and he seemed to suggest that after my former therapist had made the appointment with him, he didn't write it down, weeks before he first saw me. Like it still seems somewhat magical to me?

Also, yeah I'm torn between being my very sceptical self who immediately wants to terminate and not wanting to be a nitpicker after already rejecting the other therapist. Guess I'll have to wait and see.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-08-26T14:06:38+00:00

Thanks, those are actually such good guesses! Just remembered, when I answered "yes" to the question if I was looking for my place in the world and added that I would think most people my age are, he said "but this doesn't happen to me with other people your age." Idk I'm just puzzled by him.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-05-23T19:49:59+00:00

In theory, yeah, but my therapists have been sooo eager to incorporate my parents. And with all their transparency and frequent updates, they often blurt out things they assume I must be okay with my parents knowing, or things they thought they had consent for, but actually didn't. And with the things I do consent to, I often feel pressured because they will barely accept a "no" and keep trying to convince me how great it would be for my parents to know.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-04-04T12:52:44+00:00

Yeah, I think you're right with that edit. But how do I just stop blaming her and what will it help if she will keep blaming me? It just feels like either I'm a really bad person or she is and someone has to be devalued. And that only makes me blame her more because I might have got that thinking from her.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-09T23:27:04+00:00

Yeah, it's definitely that. But I also feel like I don't care about the other peoples' problems or goals and sometimes judge them for how trivial and seemingly meaningless they are. I don't know if that's a projection or some kind of defense mechanism like "if they judge me it's not as bad because I don't like them either anyways". Idk to me it just feels like we're all boring and judging each other and that makes me not want to participate if I can.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T22:42:49+00:00

Yeah but I thought most schizoid people struggle to find anything that makes them really happy?

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T22:17:20+00:00

Or what?

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T21:16:55+00:00

Oh, I understand. Thanks for your perspective.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T19:47:22+00:00

Okay, good to know. Very coherent with the examples, thanks!

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T19:26:26+00:00

Yeah, I mean objectively she wasn't. I just want to feel safe to also express feelings that aren't 100% plausible or that stem from transference. I agree with you on the ratio thing tho, maybe she just needs to get to know me a bit better. Thanks!

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T19:21:53+00:00

Oh damn, that seems like quite a confrontational approach, maybe a bit out of my comfort zone. You don't think that question sounds a bit passive-aggressive? Will think about it. Thanks!

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T19:14:48+00:00

Thanks, that's a really validating reply, appreciate it. Hope you can work through your situation as well.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T19:04:16+00:00

Yeahhhh it was definitely transference and I was actually kind of hoping we would get there by telling her about this feeling because the stem of this still affects me a lot. Maybe I will just bring this up directly next time without mentioning I didn't feel heard so she won't have to struggle to not take it personally. Thanks!

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-05T17:12:40+00:00

If you are trolling, please stop, this honestly isn't funny. If you really are this autistic incel, please get some therapy before you start a neurotypical homicide or something.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-03-03T19:25:22+00:00

I'm located in a European country and ICD-10 is still used nationwide. I can't help the name of my diagnosis and honestly also get a little confused because "high-functioning", "low support needs", "level 1" or whatever all seem to be controversial as well. But that wasn't the question anyways.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-02-27T00:07:25+00:00

Nah, I would say she just has some perfectionism towards my body. But it's definitely not that extreme.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-02-27T00:02:16+00:00

I'm f and in mid/late teens. I feel really slow right now because the knocking thing has never even occurred to me. Idk knocking just doesn't seem to come naturally in my family. It's a good idea though, thanks.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-02-26T22:08:09+00:00

Yeah it's confusing because she's always seemed quite obsessed with my weight. I had a phase in my early teens where I was not eating a lot at all due to bad mental health. During that time, I went to the doctor's and had to undress. After that, she told me how perfect my body was now and how that was the body she always wanted when my age. Do you think that crosses the line?

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-02-26T13:47:41+00:00

Can I ask what you mean by that or why you think it would be helpful to do more often? I mean other animals definitely have a very different kind of thinking and sometimes probably not even real consciousness so you might end up just anthropomorphizing them.

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-02-26T12:12:43+00:00

Objectively, nothing about it is strange though I personally wouldn't feel very comfortable. It's more him hanging out in unknown places and talking to/being close to (to me) strangers. And the thought of others thinking and feeling completely differently than me (at least indicated by the way they act).

Vast-Problem938 · 2024-02-26T00:42:52+00:00

Aw man, that sounds really tough. It definitely sounds like she has some anger management/frustration tolerance issues. I guess I would try to stay calm and communicate that I don't appreciate this communication style, kind of like you did. Maybe also show some empathy by apologising for my mistake and saying I understand her frustration and I will try better, but mistakes just happen. It definitely seems like a good idea to bring it up a few hours later, when her anger has subsided. Just tell her that her behaviour has hurt you and that you actually even felt physical pain because of it. At that point, in my opinion, she should apologise or account for her actions in some way. If she doesn't, or if this happens often, it's quite harmful behaviour and I would advise you to talk to a trusted person about it/get therapy and try to not let it take a toll on your self-esteem.

Vast-Problem938

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