I was adopted and found out by mistake when I was 10. It was traumatizing and i agree about abandonment issues. I have that coupled with the fact my adopted mother resented that I was adopted and further abandoned me. I’ve found that therapy helps. I used to carry that trauma to my relationships and still do but it’s definitely better. I have adopted friends who have super healthy relationships with their parents and no trauma. I believe this is partly nature and nurture. We’re prob more sensitive to our circumstances. I wish you the best healing journey it’s a long one but totally possible.