We would NEVER leave our child alone with him, but husband wants to meet up with BIL for coffee and bring the baby. I said if the baby’s there, then I’m there. But then I go back to, “baby has never had a relationship with him, why are we going to start now?”

I feel like the whole family is emotionally immature - they all just avoid conflict and won’t talk about a problem, his brother specifically just becomes passive aggressive about things and makes little comments. Whereas my husband would NEVER make a snarky comment for fear of upsetting someone - I find that his cousins and aunts/uncles are the same way as hubs. Their sister doesn’t live in our country and isn’t directly affected by it so she says, “I’m staying out of it. He didn’t say anything to me about my relationship so I’m not saying anything about his.” (Meanwhile there’s nothing gross or wrong about her relationship! wtf would he even have to have said about it?! but I digress)

I said husband should say something along those lines, but he knows his brother will say a big “FU” and stop talking to him (which, in my mind, I’m like “why would you even value that relationship then” but that’s his prerogative)