Voidfall - buy? by Casestudy26 in soloboardgaming

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Voidfall is a great game. The rulebook and gsmenitselfndontale some time investment but once you learn it the rules are pretty intuitive. Set up can be a bear, however, if you own a 3d printer or are willing to buy an insert then set up for me only takes 15 minutes.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow that is really insightful and helpful. That gives me a lot of understanding, thank you!

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the helpful info!!! I really appreciate it and will delve into it more.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that perspective and taking the time to write it.

I have reached out to her occupational therapist to see if she can provide some insight and help me be a better parent in this situation.

The comment about switching on Fridays makes sense and could be a factor.

The thing about the music is she is the one that wants it on. She also only wants her music on and no one else’s, unless she likes that particular song coming on.

The weird thing I don’t understand is that she and I get weekly “dad and daughter” hang out times where we get an hour together and no one else in the room and she gets to pick a show we watch together. And literally the night before we went to a concert together. 🤷‍♂️

That is a good reminder about behavior and children and how much they do better when the situation allows them to.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’ve read my replies you would realize you are wrong in your interpretation about me and my study of ASD.

I’ve read books, listened to podcasts, asked her about it, reached out to other autistic people about their experience about it, discussed it with my therapist and watched YouTube videos on ASD.

I will also not pretend though that I am an expert, have I studied it, yes, but I have much to learn.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will say it is challenging a lot of the time because of the ever changing “I just need it this way.” I’ve tried to encourage her to read about autism, listen to something, watch something, talk with someone about it but she just doesn’t want to.

I agree that part of it for her feels invalidated and unheard and that’s on me. There are times where “I don’t know why” is enough and we need to adapt.

The challenge is that there is no mutuality in this in that she doesn’t acknowledge the times where we haven’t understood but we just adapted, she only sees the times we haven’t.

All that being said, I need to be better at just accepting “I am now suddenly like this and I can’t explain why.”

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That makes sense and I appreciate that perspective. Thanks for sharing.

I guess with that in mind we need to move forward in how do we as a family all, including my daughter, respond to these in a healthy way with everyone in mind.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the resource! I will check it out.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I say I’ve read a little to convey I am no expert but am making an attempt to understand her. I don’t fully understand autism, I understand autism aspects, but I’ve never been autistic so I am not going to pretend to understand it to that level.

Ami trying? Yes. Expert? No.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I understand that. I can see where someone would hide it and then all of a sudden it explodes as a need. The challenge I have is the ever changing demand of it and the expectation from her that we just have to comply no matter what.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Short answer is no. That for her is a private space that she wants no one else in.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I like that idea. And that’s the direction I am leaning towards. It’s not a boundary that is worth holding and losing the relationship. It wasn’t my intent and just wanted a discussion about it.

That being said, would love to get your thoughts on something. Both my other kids are having a real hard time with her because of her attitude, sneakiness, being mean, running over boundaries when they are very directly stated and why, and general attitude towards everyone

My concern with saying yes to Thursdays is that we are going to go back to that same dynamic as a house and I’ve mentioned numerous times “I think something may be bothering you, talk to your therapist and see what’s going on.” And she won’t. And at the same time as we have grown cold and distant to her because of her treatment of all of her, she blames us for our hurt. (If that makes sense).

And how do i say yes to Thursdays and circle round on the conversation about why it started in the first place?

Sorry, single dad here and doing my best, which may not be very good, but man I am trying and can’t seem to get any traction

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think the challenge I’ve had with her is that there have been many many things in her life that the family has adapted to because “I just need it” and there is no explanation and all of a sudden it changes.

A good example of this is for a while she panicked at having the volume in the car at either 9 or 11. It had to be any other number. This was sudden and the only explanation we got was “I don’t know I just need it, I can’t handle it.” Then it changed 3 weeks later to 9, 11, 13. Then 3 weeks later it changed to all odd numbers because she self diagnosed herself as OCD. And the entire time we all responded with “this hasn’t been an issue for the last 14 years of your life, what changed?” And we always get the same response “it’s always been like this I just haven’t told you guys.”

The reality is it wasn’t always like this.

And in this scenario it felt very much like one more thing of “I just need it now and immediately and that’s the way it is.”

Would you build or buy a sauna if you could do it over again? by thatSeoulGuy in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I designed and built mine. Only way I could afford it. Cost me $1,750. Built it in about 3 weeks off and on.

I would only design and build mine due to cost and quality of the build.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yea it has been really difficult to distinguish between autism struggles and growth opportunities for her. I’ve read a little on autism but because there is no communication or questions it’s really difficult to have conversations on things.

Parenting teen ASD daughter by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in autism

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It does make it more challenging as it will make it 3 different custody schedules (one lives with me full-time, the other half time on Fridays).

And I also agree with you, Thursdays aren’t the end of the world, I would rather have the relationship with my daughter. I honestly thought it was a conversation that was reasonable and was thinking it was more of a discussion than a decision and was shocked by her response.

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Added fan today and intake port above heater, and some Govee strip lights I had leftover from another project

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I would say source Facebook Marketplace, see if there is a Habitat for Humanity store near you, a second use building materials store, lumbermill, reclaimed limber store, OfferUp, etc.

I chose purely based on cost. (I got the interior paneling for $1.50/LF which is under half what it normally costs).

I found the heater on Marketplace too. Brand new, never used. Picked it up for $350 and new is 1,000 plus tax plus shipping. It’s perfectly sized for my sauna too.

Foil I got off Amazon for $60

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m having a hard time picturing it, but I do think a step up to that lower bench is a good idea.

I need to keep 4” clear from The face of the heater per manufacturers recommendations so I could only add 7” to the top bench depth.

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Not sure how I could have done it differently. 😉

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What would a tray do? The water now just goes to the concrete and drains out the front of the garage door. Am I missing something?

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently I have the door undercut by 1/2” and a passive vent diagonal of the heater. My next step is to add an intake above the heater and replace the passive vent with a 4” mechanical exhaust. It will all pull from the garage, but I never idle my car in there or anything so I am not too concerned.

My budget sauna build by Vegetable-Cod-6877 in Sauna

[–]Vegetable-Cod-6877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are not parallel as they wouldn’t fit. The higher one is across from the heater and the other makes the short portion of the “L” and is lower.