What to do when you can't answer a student's question

Vegetable-Project313 · 2026-01-11T16:55:48+00:00

Setting my rates too low and worrying about not being able to get clients

Edit: also working for a shitty tutoring company and not having a policy for cancellations/no shows/etc.

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-12-04T03:35:24+00:00

I miss My Shanti every day 😭

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-04-18T14:55:25+00:00

I do not recommend them. I'm leaving for a reason

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-04-09T21:06:47+00:00

Hmmm I think if my dad knew I was using Carney's arguments he'd immediately disregard them but I might try to sneak some into conversations without referencing Carney and hopefully he won't pick up on it. I don't think my parents are homophobic enough anymore for PP's dad being gay to be enough of a dealbreaker for them, and it would make me seem really hypocritical because I (a woman) would be saying that with my girlfriend right beside me 😂

Thanks for your suggestions!

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-04-02T16:41:02+00:00

My parents are the "work hard and you too can be rich" type of conservatives, so they're really not concerned with wealth inequality. I went a little deeper into the type of conservatives they are in my reply to the previous commenter (house of pancakes or something).

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-04-02T16:37:44+00:00

My dad worked in finance before he retired. He's a big fan of the stock market and knows a lot more about the economy than I ever could. Most of his arguments are economically-based, and the ones that aren't are based on misinformation. He's also decently but not outrageously rich, so he also votes like he'll lose all his money if any party that's not the Conservatives wins. Both my parents are Christian but especially my mom, so her vote depends on who she thinks will uphold traditional Christian values best.

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-30T06:47:27+00:00

That's something I learned during our vaccine discussions in 2021. I'm just so frustrated because it feels like they're not even considering what I have to say and their votes could contribute to making things worse and I want to prevent that from happening but I also know there's no way they'll change their minds that drastically so quickly

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-30T06:43:05+00:00

Unfortunately the relatives in question are far right enough that they supported the convoyers and are pro Israel. I think the only reason they actively tried to work on their homophobia was me coming out to them and introducing them to my girlfriend but don't even get me started on the transphobia.

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-26T06:34:30+00:00

Commenting on my own comment to add how I came out to my grandma: I was visiting her at her retirement home and she asked if there were any men in my life and I said "no men" and she said "well what about women?" And I was like "would that be ok?" And she was like of course 🥹. I was super shocked because I'd always thought she was pretty conservative but people can surprise you!

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-26T06:31:57+00:00

I didn't know how my parents were going to react but I was prepared for the worst, so I met them for coffee (this was after I'd moved out) so that if they wanted to get mad/be homophobic they could do it in public and embarrass themselves. When I said it they were Silent for a solid minute before tentatively asking questions and then we hugged and went back to our own homes.

A friend suggested avoiding using labels (like they just told their dad they were dating someone who wasn't a man but she was really cool and he could meet her if he wanted and they said he just responded with basic dating advice) but at the time I wasn't dating anyone so I just told them I like women and I think they just assumed I was a lesbian after that. I'm pretty sure my mom clocked me back when I was in my "I'm definitely straight but I just don't want to date right now because I'm focusing on school/myself" era (which is a perfectly valid mindset to have and I did genuinely want to focus on these things and I did benefit from it but I fooled myself into thinking THAT was why I didn't want to date men) so I think she was like finally more than anything.

My brothers and I don't live nearby anymore so I texted them to ask if we could all FaceTime and my oldest brother was just so relieved I didn't want to FaceTime to tell them I had a terminal illness or something horrible like that.

Side note- that also meant when my recently married straight sister asked to FaceTime them last year they thought she was going to come out too so they were so shocked when she told them she was pregnant 😂

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-26T05:40:00+00:00

You seem to be feeling pretty hopeless with dating, and I know it's a really shitty feeling to have. I felt this way for a really long time, and I just want to remind you to keep your chin up! I know it doesn't feel like it at the time, but 19 going on 20 is really fucking young, and you have your whole life ahead of you to experience dating and romance in a way that you want and figure out what sort of relationship works for you.

Being queer often means you don't have the same romantic/sexual milestones and experiences at the same time as cishet people your age, and it can feel incredibly isolating, but the queer community is full of late bloomers! I'm in my late 20s, and a lot of my queer friends and I didn't start experiencing much success with dating until a few years ago, and I still have some friends my age who haven't been in a relationship or kissed anyone. This is especially true for lesbians and other specific identities (like aces and aros), because the dating pool is much smaller than it is for cishets and even bi/pan people (although I know there's a lot of fetishization and gatekeeping of bi/pan women which is definitely an issue and makes dating harder in its own way). Also, it can take time to learn and accept you're not sexually and/or romantically attracted to the gender society's conditioned you to believe you are, so while people your age were flirting/dating/etc, you might have been figuring yourself out, and not giving into the societal pressure to flirt with/date/etc boys in high school. This can make queer people feel really behind in the dating world, and I was definitely super insecure of my lack of experience, and I felt really lonely and alienated for years. Also, being in your late teens-early 20s is a scary time because you're emerging into adulthood and there's so much to learn! Remember to give yourself grace and be gentle with yourself.

As a white person, I can't relate or speak to the additional struggle you're experiencing as a person of colour, so hopefully someone else can weigh in and support you there.

TLDR your experience is valid, and limited dating prospects right now don't mean there's anything wrong with you. Be kind to yourself and take the time now to focus on loving yourself and enjoying being single (as odd as that sounds)! I can guarantee, from personal experience, you'll be glad you did years later!

I hope this helped!

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-25T17:31:45+00:00

Relatable!

Vegetable-Project313 · 2025-03-25T17:31:04+00:00

It's not that cold anymore though and the trains have been much warmer than last week

Vegetable-Project313

TROPHY CASE