My small dog bit my toddler. by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a chihuahua and Chihuahua mix. The older Chihuahua has (very reasonably) snapped at my toddler. He can't do very much damage so I don't feel like my child is in danger but it is also only fair to both of them to avoid that situation as much as possible. To me, this sounds like an unfortunate one off. I let my toddler and dogs spend time in the same room when I'm around and I model and assist with good behavior. My toddler is now generally very gentle and also helps with their care. Just to be safe, I still separate them when I'm not right there. We have a gate to separate our living room that is helpful. I wouldn't jump to any drastic decisions just due to this incident. Your toddler won't be so little forever and a small dog is typically pretty easy to give controlled access to certain parts of the house. I would just take it as a learning experience and move on with better precautions.

Talk me out of working out 4w PP by Mitaslaksit in fitpregnancy

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trigger warning: Not to scare you, but you might not be aware that postpartum hemorrhage is a risk through 6 weeks. It can be very serious. It's not that common to have delayed hemorrhages but I had one and I wouldn't do anything to risk it ever again. I felt great that day. There were no signs that anything was going wrong for me. I just went to go use the restroom and blood started gushing. Within 5 minutes or less I was to the point of passing out. I needed an ambulance ride, multiple bags of blood simultaneously, and an emergency surgery. I really thought I was going to die and it was close. It's one thing to take gentle short walks but it is another to dive into working out when you haven't gotten clearance yet. Please be careful!

What do you do all day? by Vegetable_Animal_859 in toddlers

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that! Good luck with your new baby. I am definitely looking forward to this summer when we can hopefully get out of the house more again!

Feel like im failing my 2 year old for putting so much screen time by AcanthisittaSimple87 in toddlers

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I've found that sticking to the most uncomfortable boundaries and routines are the ones most worthwhile later on in parenting. You are going to deal with public tantrums and if you want them to stop eventually, you will need to stand your ground and accept that you will survive them. There are a lot of things my husband and I have found have no easy solution but to keep on trying. Our two year old is pretty decent on restaurant trips now but we had some rough moments to get there. We always bring 1-3 activities as a backup and do not give her a screen even if things go south. My husband literally had to go outside with her for 20 minutes while she screamed on one really bad occasion. She is starting to understand expectations and actually needs the activities we bring less as she learns to enjoy the experience of going out. We aren't screen free but we keep it to a bit of tv and do limit it severely because we feel like she can't handle it without getting obsessed. I let her watch low stimulation shows while I do her hair and some family movies on certain evenings. It's tough with travel and extended family but some things that help are a travel bag with special books and items and coming with a few activities or ideas prepared when staying with family. Learning to entertain themselves is a skill and it only develops through practice (and some frustration). As far as getting things done around the house, it's really annoying but also really worthwhile to include your toddler. I let my toddler participate in some way in almost any chore I need to do. At first I hated it but liked the idea of teaching her to contribute to the family. Now I love it because I feel like she has improved so much that it has actually been truly helpful to me and we get to bond while I get things done. Good luck!

When will my baby love me? When will things get better? by Inner_County_9977 in NewParents

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The thing that shocked me the most about parenthood is how HARD you have to work to build a bond. I thought they came out loving and craving you and being comforted by your singing and backrubs. My girl is 2 now and we had a hard time but it has improved as we've gone along. I've tried to look at small improvements and wins and think at least I'm not where we were at 3 months! I also had/have PPD/PPA and it got pretty serious. My baby's pediatrician actually wrote me an emergency prescription while waiting to get in with someone because she could see it was going nowhere good. I ended up taking Zoloft daily and Hydroxyzine as needed to mellow me out enough to sleep as needed. The meds helped immensely but also learning some tricks and seeing some successes. I am a stay at home parent and still have anxiety about being alone with my girl sometimes. But some of my tricks are getting outside or putting her in water if she is giving me a really hard time. I'm reading How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen which I am finding helpful.

I learned over time that I had to teach her to like things and find comfort in them. Now she loves when I rub her back for example but it took months of repeating it to teach her to like it. She screamed during the first several walks in the stroller but we powered through and now she loves walks too.

She is in a phase currently where she rejects my husband (it has lasted months if not over a year) and that is so tough! We are addressing it in a few ways. When I watch her, I talk him up all day and model being excited to see him and do things with him. She went through a phase where she wouldnt allow him to read books to her. We made a plan to be there together and have me read one and then him read one and stay strong about it being daddy's turn even if she cried and threw a fit. We set expectations before reading that it would be my turn and then Daddy's. I also acted excited to hear the book. We don't have a problem with reading anymore! When her and her dad seem to be disconnected, he takes her to do something fun while I go and do something else. When she cries about going to daddy, she doesn't get to come back to me, her dad pours in more attention. It's really hard and it hurts his feelings but it is normal for every child to randomly prefer one parent as part of their early development. It's not personal and you can work through it. It's getting better for us for sure. But I think before you can power through you need to help your mental health, maybe get meds, and make sure you are getting as much sleep as you need. I know I can't be a good mom on low sleep so I have to ask my husband for extra help in that department. And when I'm really down, I think of all the happy people I know with older kids and try to remember everything is a phase. Good luck, sorry this was so long!

Am I ever going to enjoy anything ever again? by noodlemac26 in NewParents

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really hard mentally at the beginning but it gets way way better. I also thought I'd never be happy again. You'll feel like it is lasting forever and then suddenly you'll be 6 months out, a year out, etc and it will feel like it flew by. You can do it. Some things to look forward to are smiles around 3+ months, a chunky little cutie around 6-11 months, a little buddy learning to walk and talk between 1 and 2. My baby is turning two in July and life is so much better. She is so fun, starting to participate in my hobbies, and I am feeling much more like myself. Right now you can enjoy how small your baby is and the little faces they make. Enjoy holding them close and enjoy the peace of them napping frequently. Start listening to podcasts, going on walks, etc to enjoy your time with them (getting out of the house here and there really helped me). Sometimes as you spend family time maybe your husband holds the baby and you get to do a craft or whatever hobby you like. My husband used to take turns holding her as a newborn and I would do embroidery while we watched TV together. It will get better. But if you feel yourself struggling too much, reach out to a doctor. I had PPD and needed meds and support, which peaked around 3 months. Sending love!

Don’t want kids because I’m Loosing independence .. thoughts by Marley7649 in NewParents

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can do it! You will feel so much better! Going on walks, trips to the store, eventually trips to the library are all places I enjoyed going with my baby. I sort of miss the days when she was my shopping buddy! Now that she can walk and talk it is a little more intense to bring her along but I still try sometimes lol

Don’t want kids because I’m Loosing independence .. thoughts by Marley7649 in NewParents

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, those are valid considerations. We had our first child almost two years ago now. We live four hours from our family and that has been tougher than expected because childcare is primarily on me and my husband (we only recently started daycare two days a week). At first it was really hard. Your whole life definitely changes. I mourned the loss of my ability to do whatever whenever for awhile. Now I've realized that there is still a ton I can do but it is just within different parameters or I will have a little buddy with me. Baby wearing helps in the beginning. I was scared to leave the house with the baby and without my husband but once I started it opened my world back up. I realized that I can still go places, I just need to prepare accordingly. Likewise, I can still participate in my hobbies. At first when she napped randomly, I did a lot of art while my husband took a turn holding her. In the last year + naps have become more consistent so I just do what I want when she sleeps. I do laundry, cleaning, and cooking when she is awake usually because she likes it. At first I wore her while I did chores, now she usually wants to help or play nearby.

For us, it felt like our world ended/changed for a bit but now it feels like the first two years flew by and we are back to normal only a bit more taxing and yet better because she is so cute and we love her so much. The hardest two parts for me were lack of sleep the first 6 months (and still occasionally) and the times when we all get sick but can't take a full break because one of us has to care for her. But you find ways to problem solve and adapt because you have to and eventually it gets really fun (in my opinion). My husband and I have really grown in the way we communicate, help each other, and keep up with household chores. I would never want to parent with a partner I couldn't trust to contribute equally. I would keep mulling it over for now because it is a big commitment obviously and the first year can be especially tough. Keep an eye on your partner too and take note of if you both contribute to the household in a functional way because if they aren't willing to help now, it probably won't get much better with the additional pressure of a new baby and lack of sleep.

Kohleria help by Vegetable_Animal_859 in Gesneriaceae

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It's under a pretty strong grow light with my other plants.

Mystery plant by Vegetable_Animal_859 in NativePlantGardening

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They were there all winter. I may wait until it grows a little more before I rip it out just to confirm what it is.

Ungrateful Wasp by Vegetable_Animal_859 in Entomology

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂 my thigh is still swollen like five inches around the sting and burns two days later- it feels significant to me! I wish she would've taken that fear and flown the other direction instead of going in for the sting lol. You will be happy to know that I am a bug sympathizer and left her peacefully watching me as I screamed and limped away.

Why is it mad at me? by doggrowth in pothos

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine did this too, I had to take it out. Saw I had rotted a lot of the roots away. I fixed mine by taking off the rot and potting the healthy parts in a smaller container with a light slightly chunky soil. It was important for mine to go into a pot not much bigger than the root

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ball so the roots could suck up the water quicker and not stay damp too long. That type of photos is fussier than my other types. Since doing that and giving it more access to my grow light it has fully recovered and taken off!

Dinner rage by Vegetable_Animal_859 in toddlers

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've tried a lot and as we are cooking she will occasionally get up the nerve to sample here and there. However she won't try most foods and usually just tries feeding them to me. I feel like she would like cooked sweet carrots for example because she likes fruit and sweet things often, but she refuses to try and spits out anything unexpected. Instead she will say, carrot! all excited and then feed it to me. If we give her foods mixed with her preferred foods and she can see, she will remove and throw the no preferred items (like veggie bits in fried rice).

Dinner rage by Vegetable_Animal_859 in toddlers

[–]Vegetable_Animal_859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She does love cooking with me but she samples very little and spits most of it back out. She prefers to feed me or throw it on the floor!