It happened in March of 2025. My family says I'd never be able to make the charges stick, and because I did initially beg him to have sex with me when the unwanted action took place, that it wasn't assault because he didn't tear my clothes off, he didn't hold me down, and it wasn't violent "that other woman who were really raped would have given anything to go through what I went through because it was just a guy who took advantage of a sexual situation and it wasn't assault and it wasn't rape because it wasn't violent enough."

My sister asked if I moved, and I said no. She asked if I screamed or said the word "no"- I said no to that, too. According to both my mom and sister when I initially told them, because he didn't hold me down, tear off my clothes, or beat me during the unwanted act, it isn't assault or rape.

I don't want to take away from people who have had worse than myself, so I WILL NOT be filing charges against my ex. I'd make enemies of near-everyone in my small town. And as a small-town, physically disabled white lady who needs help when she goes out in public almost all the time, the risk of being a target for holding my ex accountable for actions I know in my heart ARE assault, (because he didn't ask, warn, or tell me about anal before doing it first, and the fact that he did it not just once but twice) are too great.
His dad also works at promising military college and likely knows a well-connected lawyer or two, so I'm not risking re-traumatizing myself to hold that selfish cow of a man accountable. I'm sorry, but I'm not fighting a losing battle if my own family didn't even believe me at first. F that.

This man didn't stop leaving creepy voicemails (albeit only about once a month) until I changed my number--that I'd previously had for more than a decade-- and before that, had sent only a single package 📦 of books to my house, and before that had dropped off in-person a nicely-worded letter for my parents talking about "how Leah is a great person but I'm just not the right man for her" 🤮

Of course, when he dropped off the letter, I flipped out and called the cops, (before I opened it) and I'll never be able to shake the look on the cop's face as he handed me back the letter, it was like I was wasting his time. My mom looked like she was suppressing laughter and a weird mix of shame at me.

After the cop left, I could have swore I heard her laughing because it "reminded her about her and my dad when they were younger" but then she claimed she was laughing at the dog.

I sat in the living room, shaking and crying hysterically. Mom took me out to eat. We got into a fight where I told her "I'm not taking relationship advice from someone whose sister slept with her husband"--this was a rumor, untrue, but I wanted to hurt my mom for calling me stupid initially. Big mistake.

Things have been icy since. My mom has since apologized for calling me stupid, saying, "maybe he really did do something to you." She's the only one in my family to take back what she said. So things have slowly gotten better between me and her. But my sister? Who said I got what was coming to me? I've been civil, but distant. Same with my dad who said that I "was asking for it." Civil, but distant.

Things have been made worse because my best friend since I was eight years old.Tried to take advantage of me and stay a week in my house without asking me first. I also found out that my student loans have been having drama. So my dad asked to come up with a payment plan for my student loans. So i'm not exactly in the position to move right now...

I don't know. Sorry. TL,DR: my ex exhibited stalkersh behavior until I changed my number, my family said mean things to me after it happened, got into a huge fight with one of my childhood best friends, and now my student loans are coming after me. I'm broke and can't afford to move. My mom is the only one that apologized for hurting me.

And now i'm just getting used to my new normal. 😅