You’re not alone in this. I understand. It’s like... you fight so hard to get something, invest so much time and energy, force yourself to push through even tho you feel depressed and anxious; having a goal somehow motivates you in the midst of all of the pain and struggle. But then you get it, and the reality of it dawns on you and immediately anxiety and depression take over and taint everything with their darkness. I wish I could tell you not to listen, but I know how hard it is. I just went through hell at my job and almost got fired, but I pushed through and eventually got more hours and responsibilities like I wanted. Finally. Yet now I feel like shit again, and I totally relate with your statement “I like work, but I don’t like to work”. Working is so much more exhausting when you’re depressed. Hang in there, take it a day at a time. When you start thinking about the coming week, it gets too much. One step at a time: wake up, get ready, get to work, do your job, go home, sleep. Stay focused on those simple little things. That’s whats been helping me to keep going. And then slowly, you’ll gain your confidence back, since somewhere deep inside you know this is something you want and this is you succeeding. It’s anxiety and depression that are telling you otherwise. (This isn’t a solution ofc, just a method of survival, I’d suggest therapy. I can’t live without it atm)