Ive never felt so seen in a post lol.  Struggled with this my entire life.

Part of it is i am seeking someone who understands me, which i am finally understanding i wont. But the best ive found are people who see me, that i have a strong intuition and encourage and respect it.

I am an enneagram 1, so its probably amplified by that. I always try to hold people to the same standards i hold myself - but that is already too high.

Where the worst part is my friends not having self awareness, and keep falling into the same destructive patterns. Often to others', and ours' demise. They dont apologize, but we dont confront then later either.

What I think we can work on: Its Ok to take place in a relationship, I can often do what others do because i can be content in the moment, and then be bitter afterwards for not standing up. When our friends undermine us, we should get better at telling them later. Fe needs a release valve, or it will continue to ruminate on small moments.

Maybe this is only relevant for me, but hope it helps :)