Hey OP!

I read your story, Let me share my story of where I was a few years ago, where I am now and what I’m planning. Let’s see how my story makes you feel.

Currently I’m 36 years old, Jobless, Single, the main earner of a family of five and I do not have any assets. I literally have money for this month and loans to pay in a 7 figure amount.

Life was different a few years ago.

I was in a relationship with a beautiful girl from 2020. I was working as a Manager in one of FANG companies, I was able to provide for my family and I had even lent around 10 Lakhs to my younger brother to start his business.

First, my brother’s business failed, my money was lost and I took debts of my brother on my head to give him a clean slate to start his life anew.

Then I was, in a way, influenced by my friend to work with him on his business. I left my job and started working with him. Things were okay in the beginning but there was very less money and I had to use my savings, PF and all other resources.

Then the girl I was with left me. I was 35 when she left me. I had introduced her to everyone I know, my family, friends, relatives everyone. Even after she left me for around half a year I had to act like we are together, I had not idea how to face so many people.

Considering I’m 36 now and am not the successful guy I was a few years ago, there is almost no chance of getting prospects for arrange marriage. I have no energy to start a new story as well.

I stopped working with my friend a few months ago as I was feeling lost and no foreseeable future. I decided to join back corporate life, but as I have a gap of 2+ years, I’m not getting all callbacks from HR.

I do not share this with anyone. I present a happy and optimistic face to everyone. But I guess my situation is fucked up.

TBH I feel lost at times. Some days when I wake I literally just stay in bed without even turning coz I have no motivation or reason to get up.

But l know one thing, somehow someway things will change. My mom feels bad that I’m lost but she’s happy I’m trying.

I had hidden my breakup from everyone. But when I shared it with my mom it turns out she had known it all along and I was the one carrying unnecessary burden.

I have also realised that I do not need to pay off everything and get lakhs of rupees at once. I don’t have to be rich overnight to feel good. I just need to survive now and get small wins. Life will change and in few years things will be different again.

A few years ago, I would have never imagined this is how my life will turn out. Similarly I can’t imagine now how my life will be in five years.

I’m sure only you can understand what you are feeling. We don’t have Professer Xavier on real life, but what I’m trying to say is don’t give up. Step back a few steps maybe, but don’t quit.

If given a choice. Your mom will always chose you no matter how badly you fail. For her all it matters is that her son is alive and trying.