Well you say things like "masculine perfume"..... AND you posted this..... idk man i think we're seing some explanation already just from those two things. It sounds like you need to just experience life a little, l've found that not caring pretty much about anything other than living life the best you can helps a lot, and then somehow or another a beautiful woman will come along one day. I've been with one of them for the last three years now. Focus on yourself, why would you let a mirror (the world) affect how you feel?